After I've showered and dressed, I go back to the kitchen to search for something to eat. I find a bag of stale cookies and dip them in my coffee.
There's a knock on the door.
"Mom, Lou's here!" I yell.
"I'm not ready," she yells back. "Get the door!"
I go over there and fling it open, then walk away. "She's not ready."
"Riley."
I turn back and see Nate there.
"What do you want?"
He sighs. "To be a friend. I know I'm not the person you want to see right now, but if you want to talk or just hang out, I'm here."
Not wanting my mom to overhear, I go outside with him. "I'm really not in the mood for this, Nate."
"I'm not here to argue with you or talk about you and Brad. I just thought you might need a friend right now."
"I do need a friend, but you said our friendship is over, and you're right. I don't know how we get past this."
"We could start with pizza."
"What?"
"Let's go to Pete's. We'll get a pizza. It'll be like old times."
"But it won't. Too much has happened between us. I know I shouldn't have hid my relationship with Brad from you, but you shouldn't have made me feel like I had to. Who I go out with is my decision, and if that person makes me happy, you should want that, Nate, just like I want you to be happy."
"You don't understand because you don't know what it's like. If you had to watch Brad date other people, you'd see why I didn't want you being with him."
"I did have to watch him date other people. You kept setting him up with girls."
"But he wasn't really dating them."
"It doesn't matter. I don't want to debate this. And I don't want to hang out with you today. I need you to go."
"Whatever, Riley," he says as he walks back to his car. "I came here to help you. After you lied to me. And this is how you treat me?"
"You're only trying to be my friend again because Brad's gone. You got what you wanted. And now you think everything will go back to normal."
He gets in his car, slams the door, and speeds off just as Lou pulls up. As usual, he says nothing as he goes past me into the trailer.
I remain outside and call Giada. We're not really friends outside of work, but she's the first person I thought of to call.
"Riley, what's up?" she answers.
"Hey, I know we don't usually hang out together, but is there any chance you'd want to? Like maybe today, before work?"
"Sure! What do you want to do?"
"Why don't I come over and we'll figure it out?"
"Yeah, sounds great!"
"Okay, I just need to take a quick shower. I'll be there soon."
She's always happy. Always smiling. Laughing. Maybe that's why I called her. I need to be around someone cheery. I'm so sad right now. I miss Brad so much. He texted me when they left this morning, but I haven't heard from him since. He's only been driving a few hours, but I feel like he's halfway across the world.
When I get to Giada's apartment, she greets me with a drink. "I made iced lattes! You drink coffee, right?"
"Yeah. And I could use one. I didn't sleep much last night." I take the drink from her as I go inside her apartment. It's decorated in bright colors that fit with Giada's cheery personality. It's her friend's apartment, so I'm guessing they're similar.
"So what's up?" she asks, plopping down on the yellow couch, grabbing her latte from the blue table beside her.
"Brad left."
"What do you mean? Like on a trip?"
"No. He moved back home." I sit beside her. "Back to Arizona."
"Oh." She sets her drink down. "And you two were dating."
"You knew? How'd you find out?"
"It was more of a guess. Everyone at the pool thought you and Brad had something going on, but we didn't want to say anything because it seemed like you guys were trying to hide it. I'm guessing that's because of Nate?"
"Yeah." I squeeze my eyes shut. "I miss him so much, Giada."
She takes my drink from my hand and hugs me. "You loved him, didn't you?"
"Yeah. And now he's gone." Tears flow down my face faster than I can wipe them away. "He said this wasn't the end, but I don't believe him. Why would he come back here?"
"For you." She sits back, facing me, her legs crossed in front of her. "If he loves you, he'll be back."
"When? He doesn't have time. He has to help his mom, then find a job. And if he gets a job there, when will I ever see him?"
"Wait—he's not going to med school?"
"No. Well, he might. Giada, if I tell you this, you can't tell anyone."
She agrees to keep quiet, so I tell her about Brad's dad and how his parents are broke.
"All Brad's ever wanted is to be a doctor," I say. "And he was so excited about New York. He talked about it all the time. Now none of that's going to happen."
"It still could. You never know. And if it doesn't, then go be with him, wherever he ends up. You don't have to stay here, Riley. I know you watch over your mom, but at some point, that has to end."
"I know it does." I sink back into the couch. "Thanks for listening. I feel a lot better. I'm still sad, but it's good to have someone to talk to."
"Anytime." She hops up from the couch. "You like tacos?"
"Well, yeah, who doesn't?"
She laughs. "Jen and I had a taco party last night. We have tons left over if you want some. I know it's a little early for lunch but I didn't have breakfast."
"I didn't either. I'd love some tacos."
"Follow me."
We go to the kitchen and she starts pulling stuff out of the fridge. "There's chips in the cabinet." She points to it.
I open the cabinet, which is full of food, more than my mom and I have in our entire kitchen.
"You want chicken or pork?" she asks.
"Either. Or both. I'm starving. I haven't eaten since last night."
She puts a plate in the microwave, then turns to me. "You know, if you ever want to come over for dinner sometime. Or breakfast. Whatever. You're always welcome. We have plenty of food. More than we can eat."
"Thanks," I say, embarrassed that she knows my situation, but also thankful for the offer. "I might take you up on that."
"You'd love Jen, my roommate. She's really fun and an awesome cook. She talks nonstop, but you get used to it."
A text pops up on my phone.
"Is it Brad?" Giada asks as I look at my phone.
"Yeah. He says the trip is going well." I pause. "And that he loves me."
"See? It's not over. A guy that in love with you isn't going to let you go."
Then why do I still feel like it's going to end?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Riley
It's been three weeks since Brad left. We talk on the phone every night, but only for an hour, sometimes less. During the day, I don't hear from him at all. He's too busy helping his mom, although sometimes I think she's purposely finding stuff for him to do so he won't have time to call me. He keeps saying he'll come back here, but then it never happens. I'm trying to be understanding. I know it's a rough time for him and his family, but it's also a rough time for us, and I really need to see him.