I don’t know what happened. One minute she’s all for it, kissing me back with just as much passion.
The next, she breaks the kiss too soon, the moment gone as she steps out of my grasp and leaving me pining after her. There's a chill between us.
“We’re just friends, right?” Grace’s voice is soft, full of feigned strength, the vulnerability shining through. “This is just fun?” Her eyes dart up to mine as she starts walking to her car, her heels clicking on the pavement as she tries to catch her breath and blow off what just happened. I quicken my pace to catch up to her and hold her in my arms, searching her face for the reason she just took off.
It takes me a moment to even register what she asked.
I know what she wants to hear. She wants me to say I want more. But the words won’t come out.
The last time I gave someone more, she ripped my heart out. All I can see in front of me is how much of a fool I was back then.
Grace wants more, but I can’t give it to her.
I pull away from her, forcing a smile on my lips and ignoring her question as I say, “I had a really good time tonight.” Fucking hell, what’s wrong with me?
Her eyes flash with something, and the shame of knowing she wants more but deliberately not giving it to her presses against my chest. She turns to leave without another word.
The dry lightning turns to rain as I watch Grace walk away. The droplets are light at first, warm. I don’t do a damn thing to stop them from coming down as I unlock my car. It soaks into the thin cotton of my shirt, making it stick to my skin as I climb in and close the door.
She wants to be more than friends.
She wants a commitment, but she’s already talking about kids.
I’m fucking crazy for wanting her. But I can’t help it. I’m not stopping until I’m deep inside of her making her scream my name. She’ll let it go then. It won’t matter if there’s a title on us or not. I’ll make her happy. I can do that.
Grace
Sitting in traffic, rubbing my temples, I let out an agitated sigh. Traffic is nearly at a standstill. I could get out of my car, go get a cup of coffee, and come back to find that traffic hasn’t moved at all.
It’s been a long day. A long week, actually. I laugh a little to myself because it’s only Wednesday.
My goodness. I really need to unwind.
This past weekend… Charlie. My grip on the steering wheel tightens as I let out a strangled breath. What was I thinking? I’m playing with fire. He wants a good time and that’s all I’ll be to him. How much clearer could he make it for me? It’s as clear as day.
But a good time is starting to look real attractive to me.
The image of Mac’s Tavern comes to my mind, unbidden. Charlie, behind the bar. He’s wiping down the counter. He looks up at me, and smiles when he recognizes me. And then he starts taking off his shirt…
A smile stretches slowly across my face and I actually giggle ridiculously. The fantasy is sweet and innocent. A lot sweeter than my day has been, at any rate. The fantasy is also unrealistic... just like my other thoughts regarding our relationship.
I chew on my lip. I wasn’t planning on going to Mac’s today, but… seeing Charlie would be nice. I feel good when I’m with him. There’s no label or commitment though, and that makes me feel like a damn fool. After our date though, I couldn't care less about how it looks. I just want to be happy.
While I’m stuck in traffic, I manage to change out of my office attire, a gray pencil skirt and a white silk blouse. I pull a pale blue dress, strappy and knee-length, out of the back seat.
I try not to make eye contact with the people in nearby cars as I sneakily slip out of one outfit and into another. They’re getting a free show, but nothing more from me. It’s not like my bra shows any more than a bikini top anyway. My knee smacks against the steering wheel and I let out a sharp hiss. Ouch!
I have to shimmy the dress down over my ass and nearly hit the gas pedal, but I got it done.
I smile at myself in the rearview mirror and reach into my purse so I can put on some lipstick. A deep red, not my usual color, but it looks nice with the dress and brings out the blue in my eyes.
Not that I’m dressing up, or anything… I tell myself and then grin like the Cheshire Cat. Is it so wrong to do this with Charlie? My ovaries might say ‘yes, yes it is,’ when I’m at the doctor’s but they don’t have any objections when Charlie’s kissing me. I know that much.
The parking lot is nearly empty by the time I finally get to Mac’s. So empty that I think it may be closed, but it doesn’t stop me from taking a peek inside. When I open the doors, it’s vacant inside as well, the soft hum of the TV is the only sound. I turn around and check to see if there was a sign on the door. Maybe I missed that they’re not open somehow.
But no. There’s no sign. Just a big empty bar.
I walk across the floor, aiming for the back hallway that Charlie is always disappearing into. I chew the inside of my cheek nervously, knowing that I probably shouldn’t go back there. My heart’s beating faster at the prospect of being alone with him in his bar. It’s definitely marked “Employees Only” for a reason.
But the bar is empty. There’s no one to see me do it, so it doesn’t really count. I remember how he kissed me the other night, and that’s all I need to get my feet moving.
Navigating past the walk-in cooler and stockroom, I poke my head inside each to make sure they’re empty. I continue back the hall, getting more and more nervous.
Finally, I spot him. Coming to an abrupt halt, I watch Charlie in a small office, leaning over a desk full of paperwork. For a second, I’m too shy to announce my presence, so I just stare. He’s nothing but trouble. But I knew that. Right from the beginning, I already knew it.
Charlie’s wearing dark jeans that probably mold perfectly to his ass, and a dark t-shirt that fits snugly over his hard pecs and abs. He’s hard at work, a pen in his mouth. I lick my lips nervously, strangely jealous of the pen.
The nerves start building when he doesn’t notice me, and I can’t take it. I clear my throat. “Ahem.”
Charlie looks up, surprised. “Hey,” he says, dropping the pen. It lands in his hand but he’s quick to drop it.
A gentle smile, joined with a warmth that flows through me, creeps up on my face. “Hey. The bar is empty.” I lean against the doorframe, not looking away from him. “I wasn’t sure if I should come back here or not.”
I don’t miss how his eyes travel down my body before he answers. “Yeah. There’s some free festival that’s going on downtown.” He shrugs. “Everyone left a bit ago. I didn’t want to lock up though… just in case.”
“Ah. Well, at least you’ve got one customer,” I say, feeling more and more naive. He’s busy. He’s working. And I came unannounced. But he didn’t tell me to leave.
My breath hitches when Charlie stands up, tall and with his masculinity on full display. I try not to stare at him, at the way he moves toward me.
“Well, if I’ve only got one, at least you’re a pretty customer,” he teases, flashing a grin.
I can’t help but be dazzled by him. He’s so handsome, with his deep green eyes. This is how he got me. I know it is. I’m struck by the air around him, the ease of everything about him and the charming way he looks at me, but the rough cadence when he speaks. He's the perfect mix of what I want if I could pick everything out on a checklist. I could get lost in those twin pools, swim deep below the surface of them. I already am lost. I know this is bad, but I can’t help myself.