His laugh sounded kind of choked. “Yes. It really is.”
Robert. That was who it was. Robert was in the car beside her. She managed to turn her head to look at him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Feels like I sprained a wrist from the steering wheel, but that’s it. Are you injured at all?”
It felt like her whole body hurt, but she could think more clearly now. It was just from being jarred. No one part felt more painful than the rest. “I don’t think so.”
She could see his face clearly now. She gasped when she saw the left side of his face was bloodied. “Your face! Robert. Oh no! You are hurt!” She reached out to touch his jaw.
“It’s just scratched up from the airbag,” he told her. “Nothing to worry about. I promise I’m not really hurt. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Amanda didn’t really know. It felt like the whole world had been rattled to the core and nothing was quite stable anymore. She wanted to cry. And throw up. And hit something. And then cry some more.
But she said the only thing left to be said in such situations. “I’m fine.”
IT WAS VERY LATE IN the evening when Robert got out of the shower in the bathroom of his hotel room in Hilton Head.
The day felt like it had lasted a thousand years.
He’d stayed in the hot shower for a long time, so the mirror was fogged up when he finally turned off the water. He opened the bathroom door to let cool air in as he finished drying himself off, and then he rubbed his hair with the towel to get as much of the moisture out as he could.
By the time he’d pulled on a pair of light cotton pajama pants, the mirror was cleared enough to see his reflection.
He barely recognized himself. And it wasn’t because of the shallow scratches on the left side of his face.
It had taken hours reporting the accident and getting checked out at the emergency room of the closest hospital. He wouldn’t have bothered at all for himself since he’d been sure his only injury besides minor bruises and scratches was a sprained wrist. But Amanda was really shook-up, and he wasn’t positive she didn’t have a concussion. Since he wasn’t going to take any risks with her, they’d gone after all and waited hour after frustrating hour until they were discharged with a clean bill of health.
They’d missed the rehearsal and this evening’s dinner, but they’d called to let the bride and groom know what had happened. Amanda was determined to still make it to the wedding tomorrow, so he’d rented a car to finish the trip to Hilton Head. Amanda had dozed during the final leg of the journey, and they’d finally gotten to the hotel at ten in the evening.
Amanda’s room was down the hall from his. He’d carried her luggage into the room for her and then stood for a minute, staring at her and fighting the impulse to ask if he could stay.
He hadn’t wanted to leave her. And it wasn’t just because he wanted to have sex with her.
He always wanted to have sex with her, but that wasn’t the most important thing right now. Mostly he wanted to be with her. Hold her. Listen to her breathe. He wanted it so much he’d barely been able to stop himself from suggesting it.
He’d never had that particular impulse before—to hold a woman outside of the context of sex, without even the promise of sex in the future. He wasn’t sure what was happening to him.
But he had his suspicions.
Staring at his face in the mirror, he processed what he was looking at. Damp hair. Dark eyes. Thick eyebrows. Slightly stubbled jaw. High cheekbones. Prominent nose. A familiar face. Nothing different from normal except the scratches.
But he felt like he was looking at someone else.
Someone foolish enough to fall in love.
He’d spent so many years holding himself at a distance. Protecting himself from this very thing. Never giving up the parts of himself that were the most vulnerable. Not even letting other people see that those parts existed. And then he’d walked right into the trap willingly, as soon as it was laid, because he simply couldn’t resist Amanda’s sharp mind, hot body, and deep heart.
What the hell was he thinking?
There were still things he could do to protect himself and go back to the man he’d always been. He should start to pull back now. Erect a few barriers around his heart. Stop himself from tipping over the final ledge and free-falling into the dangerous unknown.
But who was he kidding? He was already falling. And soon he was going to hit the bottom.
Hard.
He was still trying to process that bleak thought when there was a knock on his door.
Frowning, he stepped out of the bathroom and looked out the peephole.
Amanda.
He swung the door open so fast the air whooshed. “Are you okay?”
She must have taken a shower like he had. Her hair wasn’t wet, but she smelled like soap and toothpaste. She wore soft lavender pajama shorts and a white tank top that did little to hide the shape of her breasts or the outline of her nipples.
He gulped and looked up at her face. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” She shifted position and looked down at the floor. “I... I... I don’t really know why I’m here.”
He stepped out of his doorway to let her come in. “What’s the matter, sunshine? Couldn’t you sleep?”
She shook her head. “I took a quick shower and then lay down. This day feels like it’s been forever, but I couldn’t go to sleep. Everything is just whirling behind my eyelids when I close my eyes.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. Were you sleeping?”
“No. I just got out of the shower.” He reached over to lift her chin since she was hiding her expression behind her hair and it bothered him. “Tell me what’s the matter, Amanda.”
She let out her breath again. This time longer. Slower. Like she was giving up her resistance. “I don’t even know. I just feel... jittery. Upset. Rattled. It’s probably just the accident. I know it wasn’t serious, but it made me feel so out of control. Insecure. I... I... don’t want to be alone.”
His heart lurched. It actually lurched. Like it was trying to reach from his chest over to her.
He’d just been telling himself to protect himself. To keep his distance. To not let himself fall over the edge.
But there was a truth he knew now and had known when he was standing at the mirror. He’d fallen a long time ago. And trying to stop himself now would accomplish absolutely nothing—except it would hurt her.
Which was something he’d never do.
So he cleared his throat and murmured, “Then stay with me.”
Her eyes flew to his face quickly.
“Not for sex,” he explained quickly. “I don’t mean that. Just to sleep. You can sleep with me.”
Her voice barely a whisper, she asked, “Really?”
“Yeah.” Then he couldn’t stop himself from admitting, “I don’t really want to be alone either.”
That was apparently the right thing to say. Amanda relaxed. Gave him a shy smile. And walked all the way into the room. She glanced around, but there was nothing to see except his open suitcase on the low dresser and otherwise undisturbed soulless hotel furnishings.
“What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?” she asked.