He reached out with one hand, cupping her cheek with his palm. His voice was low and thick. “I’m Robert Castleman, and I know you, Amanda. I know you—even the parts of yourself that you don’t want anyone to see. I know the little part of you who sometimes wonders if you’re good enough. I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to perform for a mother who never made sure you believed you were loved no matter what. I know you lived way too long clinging to a dream about a man who wasn’t right for you because he was one of the few people who made you feel valued. I know the you that you pretend to be, and I know the you that you really are. I know you, Amanda, even when you don’t want me to see you.”
Her lips had parted when he started to speak. Her mouth went dry. Her throat closed up. Her eyes burned. Her whole body started to shake.
Robert’s hand moved to very gently stroke her cheekbone. Her jaw. Her throat. “I see you all the way, and I think every part of you is breathtaking.”
She made a silly whimper and reached out for him, her silent resolutions about holding herself back from these urges forgotten. She grabbed for his shoulders, pushed him over onto his back, and climbed on top of him until she was straddling his hips and leaning over to kiss him hard and deep.
He didn’t hesitate. As soon as she moved toward him, he reached for her with both hands, rolling over willingly and helping her position herself above him. His hands remained wrapped around the back of her thighs, squeezing the soft flesh there as his mouth and tongue moved against hers.
Her hair was falling down over both of them. The straps of her tank top were slipping off her shoulders. A deep throbbing between her legs had ignited, and she could feel it everywhere, all the way to her fingers and toes. She was messy and eager and nakedly needy as she kissed and rubbed against him, and she didn’t even care.
His hands slid up to her bottom, holding her in place against his groin. He was getting hard. She could feel his erection growing against her. She still couldn’t believe this man wanted her that way. Wanted her so much.
“Damn, sunshine,” he murmured raggedly, breaking out of the kiss by turning his head. “I’m going to lose it soon. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m sure. I’ve never been so sure about anything.” She stared down at his flushed face and hot eyes. “Are you sure?”
He nodded and gently gathered her hair into one of his hands so it wasn’t hanging over her face. “Yes. I’m sure. You’ve always been my sunshine.”
Her heart jumped a few times. She was still shaking, although only part of it was nerves. It was so much. So much of him. All at once. She wasn’t sure she was capable of handling the wave of joy and pride and possessiveness and responsibility that came with what he’d given her.
But she wanted it. There was no way she would ever turn it down once it was offered. So she kissed him again in a hungry rush.
He kept his fistful of her hair, holding her head in place with it, and he caressed and squeezed her bottom with his other hand. She was still wearing her little pajama shorts, but they didn’t get in the way of feeling his touch. He was rocking his hips up into her weight. She could feel how hard he was in his pants. It felt like they were making love before they’d even gotten their clothes off.
After a few minutes, he turned his head out of the kiss again and took a loud, shaky breath.
“Why’d you stop?” She frowned down at him, hot and rumpled and deeply aroused.
“Because I’m seriously about to embarrass myself. Give me a minute, will you?” His expression was both self-deprecating and strangely desperate.
She huffed but didn’t mean it. “Fine. Don’t want you to come in your pants before we even get started.”
“Very considerate of you.” After a pause, he asked, “Do you want to use a condom?”
She shook her head. “I’m on birth control. We don’t have to unless you’d rather.”
He clearly was happy with relying on her birth control because his face tightened briefly with what looked like barely restrained lust.
She couldn’t help but giggle. “I didn’t figure you’d have trouble with losing it too soon. I thought you’d be a man of iron control.”
“Normally I am.” His tone changed as he rolled them both over so he was halfway on top of her. “I’m sure this is just a temporary aberration from my remarkable skill and fortitude.”
Still laughing, she reached up to take his face in both hands. “Skill I can definitely believe. I’m still waiting to witness your fortitude.”
“You will.”
“After you’ve had your minute.”
His eyes narrowed. “My minute is over now.”
He kissed her again, this time from above. It felt different but just as good. His hands moved over her body as he did, pulling off her pajamas. She had to help him get her shorts off over her feet, and they had to break the kiss to pull her top off, but finally she was naked beneath him, and his eyes were roaming over her possessively from her face to her toes.
“You’ve already seen me without clothes before.”
“You think one time is enough?” There was a growl in his voice that she really liked. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of seeing you like this.”
She started to respond—no doubt with some sort of brilliant and witty repartee—but he ducked down just then to give one of her breasts a quick nip that made her squeal.
Then he did it to the other. And after that he took her nipple in his mouth and suckled it hard and exactly right. She arched up and whimpered helplessly as the ache of arousal grew stronger.
“Robert,” she gasped, clawing at his back. “Robert, please. I need... I need you. I need you so bad.”
He made that hum of approval, his lips and tongue still working at her nipple.
She arched and rocked and flailed helplessly and begged him to make her come, to take her hard, to give her what she needed.
He seemed to enjoy her shameless pleading. His face was hot and pleased when he finally let her breast slip from his mouth. He was breathing just as heavily as she was as he gazed down at her. “Tell me what you need, sunshine.”
“I just did.”
“Tell me once more. I want to hear it again.”
Normally she would have defied this kind of arrogant presumption, but at the moment it was just making her hotter, wilder. “I need you,” she admitted hoarsely, pulsing with the deepest sort of pleasure she could remember at being able to say the words. “I need you inside me. I need you to make me come. I need you to fuck me so hard. Please, Robert. Give me what I need.”
“I will.” He gave her a very gentle kiss and continued against her lips. “I’ll give you everything you need. Anything you want. All you have to do is ask for it.”
Before she could make her mind work enough to respond, he was pulling up and adjusting position. He shucked his pajama pants quickly. She’d rolled onto her side as he did, so he had to lift her thigh to part her legs when he moved back over her. Then he lined up his erection at her entrance and started to push in, holding himself up with his free arm.
She let out a long moan as he slowly penetrated her, the size and hardness of him inside her stretching her deliciously. She clung to his neck as he finished the slow thrust and gasped loudly as her body adjusted.