“Don’t call me that. It’s your nickname, sugar tits.” She pushed through the doors, leaving me alone.
I rubbed the back of my neck. All this stress was really starting to mess with me. I thought about the bath that was most likely waiting for me back at Tanner’s place. Honestly? A bath sounded pretty great right now. And I assumed I’d have to have a bath if I wanted any updates from Nigel. It was a win-win scenario, minus the whole him ogling me thing. At least he didn’t call me sugar tits. Yet.
Chapter 43
Saturday
Penny said she had a surprise for me tonight. I had no idea what that was about. But it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was what I needed to tell her. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.
I handed the valet my keys and walked up to the restaurant. It had been a while since I’d been out to dinner with anyone other than Tanner. And it would be nice to not have to pretend to be gay for a meal.
But there was still a sense of dread in my stomach. All Penny knew were my lies. For years I’d told her I’d never been in love. Half the time I was lying to myself about it. But I was done lying. In a lot of ways, Penny had been the closest person to me the past few years. Well, her and Tanner. And Tanner knew the truth about my past. Penny didn’t. I owed it to her to tell her. She deserved that much for putting up with me.
I also needed to apologize for flirting with her. I owed that to her and James. And I’d tell her about Kennedy too. After tonight, everything would be out there. I’d be an open book. For once in my life.
I took a deep breath and tried to get rid of my nerves. Penny would understand. She was very understanding, that was one of the reasons why we got along so well. I got this.
Instead of walking up to the hostess stand, I scanned the restaurant looking for Penny for a moment. She was usually easy to spot with her red hair. But I didn’t see her.
“Hi,” I said to the hostess. “I’m meeting someone here. I’m pretty sure the reservation is either under Caldwell or Hunter.”
“Ah, yes. Hunter. Right this way.”
It felt like I was just a few steps away from my fresh start. Especially because Nigel had told me last night that he was pulling together some great dirt on Poppy. He refused to share any of it yet, but he looked really happy. And as Tanner liked to say, Nigel was happiest when he was serving others. I considered his gleefulness a sign of the job being done well.
The hostess stopped at a table where someone was sitting. Someone that was definitely not Penny. Because that someone was a man.
I stared at him. “Justin?”
He looked back up at me. Yup, it was definitely Justin.
He recognized me. I knew he did. But then he shook his head and pretended to be confused.
“Sorry, do I know you?” he asked with way too much extra sass for someone who 100% knew me.
“Justin, cut it out. Why do you always pretend you don’t recognize me?”
He stared at me. “It’s just…you’re not ringing any bells, honey.”
The hostess smiled. “I’m just going to leave you two on your date.” She placed the menus down and hurried off.
Damn it. The one night I wasn’t going on a pretend gay date and the waitress thought I was gay anyway. “Come on Justin, stop messing around.” I sat down across from him, leaving Penny plenty of room to join us.
“What’s your name again?” Justin asked, squinting at me. “To be perfectly honest with you, I need reading glasses. But I don’t like to admit that to anyone. Especially strangers.”
“It’s me. Matt.”
“Matt?” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, I just have zero clue who you are. Well, I mean, I know you’re friends with Penny and James. Obviously. Or else we wouldn’t be sitting here together.” He laughed. “Wait a second, were you at their wedding?”
“Justin, what the hell? You know who I am.”
He patted his index finger against his lips. “No. I have a stellar memory. And I have no recollection of a grown man that’s so poorly dressed.”
I looked down at my suit. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with how I dressed? And why did everyone keep bringing it up? I got it when I was in my coach gear. But I’d dressed up for tonight. Nigel had even pressed my suit for me. “I’m well dressed.”
His eyes ran up and down my body. “Oh no.” He leaned forward. “Are you colorblind? I know that makes things excruciatingly difficult. For matching purposes.”
“I’m not colorblind.”
“Oh my. Well that’s shocking. I don’t even know where to start. And it seems harsh to critique a stranger’s poor outfit selection.”
He was one to talk. I was pretty sure he was wearing a parka or something. It didn’t seem fashionable at all. “I’m Matthew Caldwell. Brooklyn’s…”
“Don’t.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Can you please not bring her up?”
I stared at him. “So you do know who I am?”
“Fine. Okay?’ He sighed. “Of course I know who you are. And I always try to avoid you. Because I get very emotional when I hear Brooklyn’s name.”
Oh. “I’m sorry.”
Justin sniffled. “It’s fine. I just…like to pretend I don’t recognize you. Because I don’t like talking about her. Not because I didn’t love her. The opposite, really. She was such a dear friend of mine. And I…I miss her. You know?”
I nodded.
“You may not know this, but she was so kind to me. She believed in me when no one else did.”
“Yeah. She believed in me too.” I could feel myself getting teary eyed because he was getting teary eyed.
“I don’t even think I’d be a wedding planner if she hadn’t told me I could do it. I owe that girl everything. And she never got to see me living my dream.” He grabbed a napkin and blew his nose. “See!? Now I’m a blubbering mess. Oy vey.”
“It’s fine, Justin. Trust me, I understand.”
Justin blotted away the rest of his tears and smiled. “And here we both are. Crying over a girl. Whoever thought two gay men would be doing that on a date? We’re acting like straight guys.”
“Uh…what now?” Was he talking about me? Were we expecting a fourth person? “Where’s Penny?”
“How should I know?”
“Because we’re meeting her here?” It was a guess. Because I honestly had no idea Justin was going to be here. I guess he was the surprise? A blast from the past. Shit, did this mean Penny did know about Brooklyn?
“No, honey. This is a date. Penny set us up. She told me all about how you’ve been hiding in the closet all these years…”
“I haven’t been hiding in the closet.”
“Oh. Oh, no. You’re not out yet? I swear to God, that girl promised you’d be excited about this.”
“I’m not gay, Justin.”
“Of course you are. I mean, I totally get it. I heard what you said at the funeral. That you’d love Brooklyn and only Brooklyn until you died. And hopping onto the other team doesn’t really feel like breaking that promise. Because at least it’s not another woman. So technically it’s kosher. We’re all good. I’m not judging you. I’m actually really happy that you’re here.”