“Every night, I say a prayer for you and Vivien and Easton,” Ma continues, dragging me out of my head. “I knew the instant I met that girl that she was the one for you. I knew she was the girl you’d end up marrying, and I’m glad I wasn’t wrong.”
“Steady on, Ma, and don’t go saying that shit to Viv.”
She sighs. “Dillon, do you think I was born yesterday? I know better than to put my foot in it.” She rolls her eyes. “Now go and put my cute little grandson on the line so I can wish him a Happy Thanksgiving.”
“How did she take the news?” Viv asks as Easton says hello to my parents and extended family in Ireland via FaceTime. It helps that Ro is there as he knows him, but I’m sure he’s wondering who the hell the rest of the freaks are. Ash is beside East, introducing him to everyone, and he’s delighted with all the attention.
“She was a little disappointed, but she understands.”
Viv chews on the corner of her lip, and I sneak my hand under the table, squeezing her fingers. “Stop worrying.”
“I feel bad that you’ll be away from your family at Christmas.”
“But I won’t be.” I peer into her eyes. “I’ll be with you and Easton. You’re my family now.”
She gives me a wobbly smile, and I’m guessing today is as hard for her as Christmas will be. This time last year, she was pregnant and celebrating with her husband.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t be sorry, Dillon. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” She glances at Easton to ensure he’s not looking before planting a quick kiss on my lips. “And you’re right. We are your family, and I’m lucky to get to do this with you. It’s just hard today. I’m feeling a little sad.”
I slide my arm around her shoulders, holding her tight. “I know, sweetheart, and I’m here for you.”
Thanksgiving was harder than I thought it would be. Easton threw a few temper tantrums, and Vivien wore a sad smile on her face half the time, but we got through it. I yanked them out of bed this morning to go hiking at Pelican Cove Park because I want to do something fun today to put a smile back on both their faces.
The weather is cooler at this time of year, and Viv and Easton wrap up warm. My Irish bones don’t need as much insulation, so I take a light jacket, and we head out up the coastal road.
We hike one of the shorter trails before heading down to the park and along the cliffs. Leon and Bobby trail us from a distance, giving us some privacy. Waves crash against the jagged rocks, and the sounds of the ocean are relaxing as we walk hand in hand. I keep Easton tucked in on the inside because he’s got the same reckless streak I have, and I don’t want him running away and skydiving off the cliff. “How about some hot chocolate?” I ask him, spotting a silver van selling hot drinks and pastries.
“Oh, yay!” He tugs on my hand, hauling me forward.
“Do you want anything?” I call out to Viv.
She’s smiling as she shakes her head, hanging back to admire the view as our son drags me along for the ride. There’s a bit of a queue, so we get in line. Easton glances up at me before dropping his eyes to his feet. His brow puckers, and his nose scrunches up, the way it always does when he’s thinking about something. “Spit it out, little dude. What’s on your mind?”
He nibbles on his lips. “My daddy used to hold my mommy’s hand like you did back there.”
I gulp over the messy ball of emotion in my throat, sensing where this is going.
“Does that mean you’re going to be my new daddy?”
Holy fuck. I look around for Vivien because I am so out of my depth here, but she’s still staring out at the ocean, oblivious to my current panicked state. I run my hands through my hair, trying to think of the best thing to say.
“Does it, Uncle Dillon?” He looks up at me with so much hope and trust and innocence, and I would do anything for this kid. He means the world to me.
Taking his hand, I pull him out of the queue, off to the side where it’s private. I bend down so I’m at his height. “Reeve will always be your daddy, buddy, but I’d like to be a permanent part of your life. If that’s okay with you?”
He bobs his head, but he looks a little unsure. “I saw my mommy kissing you yesterday. Does that mean you’re going to get married?”
Jesus, fuck. Where the hell is Vivien when I need her? I send juju vibes out to the universe, along with a silent plea, for her to come and rescue me. And someone must be listening because she appears beside me, and I release the breath I’d been holding.
“What’s going on?” Her gaze bounces between East and me.
I scoop Easton up into my arms, grateful when he goes willingly. “I think we need to go back to the car and have a talk with East.”
“I want my hot chocolate first.”
“Okay. Come on. The line is gone now. Let’s grab you a cookie and some hot chocolate.”
After Easton gets his stuff, we walk back toward the parking lot in silence. I hand Vivien a coconut water, mouthing “He saw us kissing and holding hands. He has questions.”
She nods, placing her hand on his shoulder and guiding him toward the car. The three of us climb in the back, and we keep Easton in the middle. I look to Viv, more than happy to let her take the lead on this.
She clears her throat. “I believe you have questions. What would you like to know?”
“Are you going to marry Uncle Dillon?” he asks, dribbling some hot chocolate down his chin. I dab the liquid with a napkin, cleaning it up before it can drop on his clothes.
“I don’t know,” she says, and it’s as if she’s thrust her hand into my chest and squeezed the life from my heart. “Maybe someday I will,” she adds, and that helps a little. “Would that upset you?”
He thinks about it for a few seconds as he sips his drink. “Would it mean he’d come to live with us and I could play guitar every day?”
Vivien smiles adorably at him. “Yes, except for times when Dillon is working.”
He considers this for another few beats, and the suspense is killing me. “I suppose that would be okay.”
Vivien and I exchange looks over his head.
“That’s good because Dillon makes me happy.”
“He makes me happy too,” he says, and two red spots appear on his cheeks.
“Me three,” I quip, sidling up closer to him. “You and your mommy make me very, very happy.”
“So, you’re like my mommy’s boyfriend now?” he asks, eyeballing me.
I look to Vivien, and she nods. “Yes. Is that okay?”
He shrugs, and concern spreads across Vivien’s face. “You can tell me what you’re feeling. Whatever you have to say, you won’t upset me or Uncle Dillon.”
His hands wrap around his cup as he stares at his mum. “You used to kiss my daddy, and now you kiss Uncle Dillon. Does that mean you don’t love my daddy anymore?”
Fuck. The poor little kid. I wonder if this is why he was acting out yesterday, and I wish I knew what thoughts were troubling his mind so I could put him at ease.
“I will always love your daddy, Easton.” Tears cling to her lashes, and her voice sounds choked up. “Always. I loved Reeve my whole life, and just because he’s in heaven now, it doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore. You still love him, right?”