He flinched. “Why would you say—”
Again, a disgusted look crossed her face. “Why don’t you start by trying to fix things a little closer to home?”
His shoulders tensed. “Meaning?”
“Oh, Nolan. You’re many things, but not stupid. No one could ever make that accusation.”
“Why do I feel as though I should be insulted right now?”
“Fix things at home. Fix things with your sister. Fix things with Beau. Forget about me.” She patted the center of her chest for emphasis.
It was his turn to laugh. “Forget about you. That’s funny.” He shook his head.
“Don’t do that.” She stabbed a finger in the air. “Don’t act like I’m somehow as important to you as they are.” She stepped closer so that her fingertip pushed him in the chest. “I said, forget me and concentrate on them. Fix it with them.”
“Oh, that’s funny. You want me to fix things at home?” He waved toward her house. “You can’t even do that. You just live your life like an ostrich with your head buried in the sand, like you can’t see what’s going on around you . . . like nothing can get to you.”
“Stop analyzing me!” Her eyes blazed. “Take care of your own shit before you cast stones. Your sister and Beau are so into each other. Are you just blind to that? Why do you have to get in their way? What are you? The grand blocker of love?”
Blocker of love? He mouthed the words at her. He didn’t even go into the irony of that. Hayden was as emotionally guarded as they come. She wouldn’t even let him like her.
“Oh stop,” she snapped.
“You mean I should just let Beau go after my sister? Fuck her and then toss her aside? Sorry. No. Not going to do that.”
“Stop being so dramatic . . . and gross.” She shook her head as though so disappointed in him. “You think so little of them. She’s your sister. She’s smart. He’s your best friend. You know him. He would never disrespect her.”
He stared at her mutely, fury vibrating off him. He came here for her, not to defend himself to her. He didn’t want to hear this.
She continued, “Will you be able to monitor the guys she dates in the future? You have to let go. Can you guarantee she’ll never go out with a douchebag? You won’t always be around, you know? What then?”
“They won’t be Beau,” he said tightly. “I’ll know that.”
“Yeah, they won’t.” She rubbed her face. “You don’t see it.” She dropped her hands. “Let me be blunt.”
“Because you haven’t been?”
“Why don’t you stop being selfish and get out of Emmaline and Beau’s way before you lose them both? And while right now you think you’re fine without Beau, I don’t think that’s true. And your sister will resent you forever if you take this choice from her. If Beau is a mistake, he’s hers to make.”
The words resonated with him and he hated that. He wasn’t ready to admit she was right and that he might be wrong on this. “For someone who doesn’t like me butting into her life, you sure do enjoy butting into mine.”
She cocked her head at an angle. “You’re the one standing on my front porch. You drove over here and knocked on my door.”
True—she had a point. He had asked for this. But he didn’t have to stay to listen to another word, even if all the words coming from her were making him think that maybe he was wrong and she was right—at least when it came to Beau and Emmaline.
Maybe if she had family that she cared about, who relied on her and she relied on them, she would understand, but he wasn’t that big of a dick to point that out to her.
Instead, he did what she wanted.
He turned and hopped off her porch and headed toward his truck. “You’re right,” he called. “I came over here, but I won’t make that mistake again.”
Lesson #32
When it’s too risky, bail.
x Hayden x
When Hayden reentered her house, Mom was in the kitchen with Alex. She was hunched over, her silk robe riding up and showcasing the bottom half of her ass cheeks. Not that Mom minded. There wasn’t an ounce of modesty to her.
Hayden knew the only things in that fridge were ketchup, mustard, and packets of soy sauce, but she didn’t bother pointing that out.
She walked a hard line to her bedroom. She had to be at work in twenty minutes and she had no intention of being late. Thankfully, she had gotten her car up and running again. Even though it had cost her a couple hundred dollars to get it serviced.
“Hayden! Do you have any peanut butter in your room?” Mom called through the paper-thin walls.
She knew Hayden kept food in her room. She never once complained about the lock on her door. It was one of the few things Mom seemed to respect—Hayden’s right to her own space. That said, she was always asking Hayden for stuff like she was the neighborhood corner store.
“Um. I’ll see.” She hurried into her room and quickly changed into her work clothes. On the way out, she grabbed the jar of peanut butter sitting on top of her tiny fridge.
Peanut butter in hand, she yanked the door open and yelped to find Alex standing there, waiting.
“Oh.” She pushed back strands of hair from her face. “You startled me.”
“So you keep peanut butter in there? What else you got to eat?” He peered over her shoulder, trying to get a look into her room.
She turned and shut her door, securing the lock in place. “Just peanut butter,” she lied.
The guy was pushy. She hoped Mom got tired of him soon, but the sad thing was, she knew it wouldn’t happen that way. Mom never tired of them first. When she found a loser, she usually clung to him until she got dumped. That’s who she was. That’s the kind of abuse to which she was accustomed. She accepted it. Expected it.
Hayden set the peanut butter on the counter beside the stale loaf of bread Mom was unwrapping. “There you go. See you later.”
Then she was out the door.
On her way to work, she daydreamed about her own place in Austin. It could be some shoebox, and likely would be, but she didn’t care. It would be hers.
Her own space. Blessed solitude. No locks except the normal one on the outside door. No Mom with her losers creeping around her. No guys like Nolan Martin showing up on her doorstep, challenging her idea of herself and what it was she always wanted—what she thought she always wanted.
She refused to think the two things were separate. What she thought she wanted and what she wanted were the same thing. They were. They had to be.
Hayden welcomed the distraction of work. Weeknights were slow, but she found plenty of things to occupy herself. She washed out tubs and cleaned the stockroom, letting Chaz work the front and deal with people. Chaz was a much better people person. That wasn’t her forte, after all.
She was carrying in some supplies from the storeroom when she spotted Emmaline sitting at a table. Alone.
When had she arrived?
Sighing, Hayden dropped her load on the counter and turned to go back inside the stockroom. Only she stalled once she was standing inside the tight space.
Walking away from the sight of Emmaline Martin was physically impossible. The girl had crawled her way inside Hayden’s heart, and she couldn’t just ignore her.