With a grunt, she pushed back out of the storeroom.
Glancing at Chaz, she said, “Hey, Chaz, I’m going to take my break now.”
Hayden rounded the counter and sank down in the chair across from Emmaline. “Any reason you chose to come here? Of all places you could mope in misery, you chose here.” Her fingers tapped idly on the surface of the table.
Emmaline stabbed her spoon into her frozen yogurt. “I came here because I knew you would understand.”
“I’d understand your misery?” Hayden smiled and tried not to let that bum her out.
Emmaline snorted. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“I must put out that vibe.” She gestured to herself, her fingers splayed wide. “Hayden Vargas, Girl Who Gets Misery.” And she supposed she did understand that. She was well versed in misery.
Emmaline shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know . . .” Her laughter faded. She stabbed her spoon harder inside the cup of her yogurt. “I don’t know anything.”
“You know more than you think you do. You know what you want, Emmaline. I think you’ve known that since you came to me for lessons. You. Know. What. You. Want.” She deliberately spaced those words apart, letting them sink in. “So many people can’t figure that out for themselves, but you know. You know, Emmaline.”
Emmaline stared somewhere over Hayden’s shoulder, her expression pensive, considering.
Hayden continued, “If you like Beau and he’s into you, then you need to make your brother understand that he can’t get in the way of that. Make him understand it’s what you want.”
Emmaline’s gaze snapped to her face. “It’s not just Nolan. My mom—”
“If you get Nolan on board, that’s half the battle. You do one battle at a time. Just like one day at a time.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’ve only got about five minutes, so let’s cut to it. Here’s my last lesson, and this one is free.”
Emmaline sat up a little in her seat, her eyes blinking once and widening. “I’m listening.”
“You gotta take a stand, Emmaline. If you want something badly enough, then fight for it.”
“Fight for it,” Emmaline murmured to herself.
“That’s right.” She nodded and then looked away, suddenly uncomfortable in the face of her own advice. The only thing she had ever fought for was herself. Since she was a kid toddling around, largely neglected by her mom, she had been fighting for herself.
She’d never fought for someone else. She was telling Emmaline to do that, but she had never done that.
She was eighteen years old and alone. She didn’t have anyone. True, she’d never wanted anyone, but she didn’t allow herself to want anyone—to have anyone—and for the first time that felt sad. That felt sad and lonely.
For the first time in her life she felt alone. She felt lonely.
Lesson #33
You can’t care about what others think. Only what you think.
x Nolan x
It was surprising how easy it was to avoid someone who lived under the same roof.
Nolan wouldn’t have thought it possible, but his sister showed him just how it could be done. She was quite skilled at avoidance. He didn’t think she could manage it for days, but she did.
Emmaline spent most every night in her room. Mom went in to talk to her, but he didn’t even try. She didn’t want to see him. She’d iced him out ever since he busted in on her and Beau.
When he woke for school in the mornings, Emmaline was always gone. She got up even earlier and took the bus to school. The bus. Emmaline opted for that rather than ride to school with him. She was a junior. No one rode the bus if they didn’t have to, and she didn’t have to.
He drove to school alone. Savannah usually rode with Mom. So he drove himself. Just himself. No girlfriend. No sisters. A definite change from the way things used to be.
Pulling into the crowded parking lot, he spotted Priscilla. She was getting out of Anthony Morales’s Jeep and was all smiles as she looked up at the school’s star soccer player. Apparently, she had no trouble finding a new ride to school.
That was good. It was a good thing she was out there again. She didn’t miss him, and it made things a lot easier because he didn’t miss her. At least one thing was easy in his life right now.
And while he may not miss Priscilla, he missed Emmaline. The inside of his truck was depressingly silent as he pulled into his parking spot.
When he emerged from his truck and started toward the building, he got lost in the river of students. A few people greeted him, and he said hello back, but he didn’t linger. If he hurried, he might cross paths with Hayden in B hall. Unless she was taking a different route again. He didn’t see her doing that forever though. She wasn’t the cowardly type.
He picked up his pace, hoping to see her, despite their final words. Despite his regrettable last words to her outside her house. He said he’d never bother her again. He said that and yet he was rushing to see if he could spot her. Just one glimpse.
He wanted to see her.
He wanted to hear her voice.
“Nolan, wait up.”
He tensed, his shoulders locking up tight. Wrong voice. That was not the voice he wanted to hear.
He kept walking, reaching B hall.
Beau called his name again.
“Hey, Nolan. Hold up,” Beau called again, louder this time.
A few heads turned, and he knew if he didn’t turn around he would be attracting more attention. Beau would only call out louder, maybe say something people shouldn’t hear.
Nolan stopped, sucked it up, and turned around. “What do you want?”
Beau stopped before him, his gaze intent. “You going to ignore me forever?”
The five-minute warning bell rang.
“I don’t know, man.” He didn’t know. He only knew he wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. He couldn’t stare at his face without all kinds of conflicting emotions rushing through him.
“Well, I’m not going away—”
“You need to go away,” he shot out. “Because I’m not ready to see your face.”
Beau flushed with anger. “When are you going to grow up?”
“Me grow up?” Nolan’s voice lifted. “Me? I’m not the one letting my dick lead me around. I’m not forgetting who my friends are.”
Beau’s face flushed hotter, splotches of red breaking out over his skin. “I haven’t forgotten anything. I just want to be with her, man, see where this could lead. I don’t want to hurt her.”
People were staring. Nolan felt them watching. He noticed the bodies in his periphery who were stopping to gawk.
Someone muttered, “Her who?”
They were attracting too much attention.
Still, it couldn’t stop him from threatening, “Shut up. Shut the hell up.” He stabbed a finger in the center of Beau’s chest. “You don’t talk about her. Ever.”
Dorian appeared beside them. “Everyone okay here?” His gaze flicked back and forth between them.
“Stay out of it,” Beau said tightly. “This isn’t about you.”
“Yeah. Who is it about?” Dorian smirked. “You fighting over a chick? Come on. You guys are best friends. No pussy is so good that you—”