“I’m sure you saw the video of the fight, the one they showed their coach.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Remember when you told me about the time when my dad and Uncle Phillip got into a fight with your cheating boyfriend? You said you were mad at Phillip for dragging you away. Why were you mad?”
She frowns. “Lots of reasons, I suppose. In all honesty, it was mostly because I wanted to be able to handle it. I know that I should have gone up to Jake myself, told him we were through, and walked away. When Danny and Phillip got involved, it was almost like they were taking away my power. In the moment though, when your dad was pity flirting with me, it felt good to have them on my team. But Phillip making me leave the party—it sort of made me feel like a little kid who was in trouble and got sent home.”
“And when I told Chase to go home that day on the football field, I wanted him to go home because I didn’t want him to get in a fight or get hurt because of me. I didn’t tell Hunter yes to Homecoming. Instead, I ran after Chase. Tried to explain what happened. But he wouldn’t listen. Kept twisting my words.”
“He didn’t tell me that part,” she says, looking thoughtful. “And you certainly don’t have to.”
“Maybe I need to,” I tell her. “He accused me of lying to him about my feelings for him. Said he protected me from that jerk. Risked his place on the team and probably just effed up his entire career. And that the bitch of it all was that after what he did for me, I wouldn’t even walk away with him. That I wouldn’t stand up for him. For us. Which made me mad. I told him that I never asked him to punch Hunter. That I was going to handle it myself.”
“Were you?” Jadyn asks.
“Yes, but I never got the chance. Doesn’t matter now though. Chase doesn’t believe me.”
“Do you want to know what he told me?”
Do I want to know? Can I handle it? “Uh, maybe?”
“He said that, to you, what other people think of you is more important than what you think of yourself.”
“There’s truth in that statement. My mom has been telling me most of my life that I should care what others think. To worry about my appearance. Make good first impressions. How to speak. And I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with caring about what people think, Devaney, unless it overshadows what you think. And that will be really important to remember when you go through rush. Because during it all, you will feel judged. What’s really happening is that you are being assessed to see if you are a good fit. It’s like the draft. Every year, there’s a top-ranked quarterback coming out of college, but if the team who has the first pick already has a good QB, they will pass on him and take a different player. Someone who fits what their team needs. Rush is a little different though in the fact that the players tend to go where they are told. In rush, while they are assessing, so are you, and you are matched instead of chosen.”
“You just talked football to me,” I say with a laugh. “Actually, now, it all makes perfect sense. So, I’ll be judging them and narrowing the field while they do the same. Kind of like at the combine.”
“Exactly like that, if the player got to analyze each team in the process.”
She gets up suddenly, going into her study and coming back out with a marker. “You need to sign the table again.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I think your signature has changed a little since you turned five. And it’s a momentous occasion, leaving for college.” She rolls the marker across the table at me.
I’m sitting in Chase’s usual spot. Our names are signed halfway between here and the next seat. The spot I used to sit at. I consider signing it right above my original signature but don’t. I will be at college but don’t want to be forgotten, so I press the marker down in the spot right above where his place mat sits.
The front door bursts open suddenly, and Chase, Lacey, Damon, and a bunch of their friends come barreling in.
“Hey, Mom,” Chase calls out.
“In the kitchen,” she yells back.
I instantly panic, pushing the place mat on top of my signature. Which is good because next thing I know, Chase is standing in front of us along with Lacey in a skimpy bikini, holding his hand.
He drops her hand, which must piss her off because she looks at me and then speaks in a tone so sweet that it might as well have been dipped in sugar, “Dani, it’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?”
“I live next door.” I try to keep the duh out of my voice but don’t really succeed.
“What did you need, Chase?” his mom says to him.
“The dock at the park was too crowded, so we’re going to swim here. Any idea when Dad will be back with the boat?”
She glances at her watch. “Probably won’t be too long. Why don’t you send your friends outside?”
Chase opens up the door to the deck and motions everyone through it. Then he shuts it and goes, “Am I in trouble or something? You are usually fine with everyone hanging out here.”
His mom gets up, points at her chair, and says, “Sit here.”
She walks out of the room.
Leaving Chase and me alone.
Can’t manipulate the truth.
Chase
I can’t help but wonder why Dani is here, talking to my mom. I also don’t know why I instantly dropped Lacey’s hand the second I saw her. Or why my mother told all my friends to go outside.
Or why I can’t think of a single thing to say to Dani when there are a million things I wish I could.
I go with the super original, “What’s up?”
Dani looks a little shell-shocked. “Um, not sure exactly. Your mom and I were discussing rush. And then we got on the subject of that day. At school.”
“The day you ditched me for Hunter?” I reply, trying to pretend I don’t care when, in reality, just thinking about it still makes my blood boil.
“Yes,” she says, nodding.
“And what lies did you tell her?” I fire back.
“I’ve never lied to you, Chase. Ever,” she says, standing up. “And the fact that you would suggest that really hurts. That’s it. I’m done. I give up.”
“Giving up is nothing new for you, Dani,” I practically growl, my voice getting louder. “You gave up on us that day.”
“You’re wrong. So wrong, Chase,” she says softly. “But it doesn’t matter what I think. You saw it a certain way in your mind, and nothing I say will ever be able to change it.”
“You can’t manipulate the truth, Dani. I was there!” I’m full-on yelling now. “I know what happened. I had to watch the video of you humiliating me over and over with our coaches just so I wouldn’t get kicked off the team. So, don’t act like I’m making it up!”
Tears fill Dani’s eyes. She sadly shakes her head and walks out on me.
Again.
The moment the front door slams behind her, my mom comes flying back into the room.
“Chase,” she says, shaking her head at me the same way Dani just did.
“What?” I sass back loudly. If I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll start crying. Better to stay mad.