We all looked up and her bright smile fell instantly.
“Oh dear, what did I miss?” she asked in a hushed voice.
“I dare say you would not believe it if we told you,” Uncle Alfred said, standing from his chair. “I must go ready my things. I imagine we will be leaving shortly.”
Whitney’s gaze fell to the table covered in sweet pastries. “Do I have time for at least one?” she asked.
“Of course,” Aunt Harriet replied.
The hot chocolate I had requested arrived.
Somehow I managed to drink a cup and finish a pastry. I will never know how because my stomach was never so in knots as it was in that moment.
Very little was said as we finished our breakfast. Whitney’s curious gaze was on me and although I felt it, I did not meet her eyes. The less people who knew of Emma the safer she was. I trusted my sister, but Emma’s existence was not mine to share with anyone. It seemed that Aunt Harriet agreed with me for she too remained quiet.
Once we were done with breakfast, I made the move to leave the dining room. Ashington had not returned and I was relieved rather than disappointed. I was not sure what our next conversation would be and I did not know if I was ready to have it. Perhaps once we were back in London, I would have time to prepare as would he.
After we were dressed for travel, our things were taken from our rooms to be loaded onto the carriage. Whitney exited her room at the same time I did mine. We walked down the hall together. As we reached the stairs, I took a moment to take in the entrance of Chatwick Hall. It was truly a stunning place and one I was not sure I would ever visit again. My thoughts went to the kitchen and all that had happened there. Feeling a pang of loss, I followed my sister out the front doors and toward our awaiting carriage.
Lord Ashington was still nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Nicholas Compton
“The ball has only just begun, yet I find you out among the roses already,” I said as I stepped out of the shadows and made my presence known to Miss Bathurst. It wasn’t a coincidence that we were both in the gardens, although I would have her believe it so. My purpose for coming to the St. Vincent’s affair tonight had been to simply see Miriam.
While my brother had whisked her away to Chatwick Hall, I had time to contemplate the matter. It was clear Miriam was his choice. It was also painfully clear that it would be Miriam that I must use to cause humiliation and pain to the new Earl of Ashington. However, while I had several days to reflect and think upon how this would affect everyone, including Miriam, I realized I could not do it. At least not in the way I had so carefully constructed.
My feelings for Miriam could not even be labeled as an inconvenience for being near her brought me a happiness I hadn’t realized I was missing. Whilst she was in the countryside with Hugh, I was battling my own emotions and forced to face the simple truth, I cared very much for Miriam Bathurst.
Turning in the moonlight, Miriam smiled at me. “Mr. Compton, I would say this is a surprise, but I am sure it is a well-planned meeting, is it not?” There was no accusation in her tone. There was more of a jovial lilt to her words. As if she found my game childish and predictable. I needed to rectify that immediately. It was my fault, of course.
“I assure it is not. This is pure luck, at least for me,” I replied. Then thought perhaps if I started telling the truth, it might help things. I had lied for so long it seemed that the lies came so easily to my tongue. It took very little thought.
“Very well,” Miriam said with a smile that said she did not, in fact, believe me. She was too smart to fall for the smooth words of a man such as myself. It wasn’t an easy thing to accept. I didn’t want to be that man. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be seen as something worthy. A man that she could respect.
“Did you enjoy your time at Chatwick Hall?” I asked her then, unable to wait a moment longer for a response to this. Had Hugh let his guard down?
Even under the light of the moon, the pink blush on her cheeks was apparent. Miriam lowered her head as if to hide her response and I knew then it may be too late. My stomach clenched and I felt a tightness in my chest that I could only categorize as panic. Had I ever felt that before?
“Chatwick Hall is the most lovely place in all of England, I am sure,” she replied then. When she offered no more information, I could feel the wall there between us. It was clear that if there had been anything before, any connection she had felt with me, that it was no longer acknowledged. Miriam Bathurst was set on becoming the next countess.
It would be easy to believe she was like all the others and out for the title and power. After visiting Chatwick Hall and seeing all that Ashington had to offer her, why wouldn’t she set her sights on being his wife? However, I knew Miss Bathurst and no amount of material wealth would draw her in. There had to be something more that happened.
“Am I to believe a wedding is to be announced soon then?” I asked, trying not to sound as bitter and jealous as I felt. There was time to turn this around, but at the expense of her happiness would be difficult for me. When had I become a man who cared for others feelings? Why now?
“Oh, no, I do not believe so. I haven’t seen Lord Ashington since our return. I am sure he has been busy.” She stopped then and I could see the flicker of pain in her eyes before she turned her face to gaze off down the garden path and away from me.
This scenario was one I could work with more easily.
“The Earl of Ashington does have much weighing on him. I wouldn’t give it too much thought. He will come around once his load lightens,” I assured her then motioned a hand toward the ballroom. “For now, would you return with me to the ballroom? I believe I am next on your dance card.”
That brought a smile to her face and I felt like a hero of sorts. Hugh might find he needed time to think over his decision and while he did that, I would move forward with my own. Miriam Bathurst was unique and I found getting her out of my thoughts was impossible. Her beauty alone was a fierce weapon, but yet one she did not wield. Her choice not to use such a power only made her more desirable. I was willing to admit that she had changed my plans.
“I thought perhaps he may attend tonight,” Miriam said as we walked back to the ballroom.
“Ashington is often late. He may perhaps be there when we arrive,” I replied. Another lie so easily spoken. Guilt gnawed at my gut. Ashington was, in fact, inside the ballroom. I did not know whom he would be speaking to or if he would be dancing, but he hadn’t gone looking for Miriam. Someone else was occupying his time.
“Perhaps,” she agreed as we stepped onto the veranda and back into the warmth of the crowed room.
“Do you require a refreshment before we dance?” I asked her, not allowing myself to search for Hugh.
Miriam, however, was already doing so and I watched as she scanned the room. She glanced up at me and shook her head. “No, I am fine,” she replied.
Taking her hand and placing it on my arm, I led her toward the floor just as my eyes found Hugh. He was speaking to none other than Lydia Ramsbury and her mother. They were both openly delighted with the attention. All of London knew of his trip to the country with Miriam and her family. His speaking with Lydia made it appear as if that hadn’t been quite as important as the gossip papers thought it was.