“Of course,” she said, her concern now more etched on her face. “Of course. It was very poor timing of your mother to request your sister return home. I am truly sorry your uncle couldn’t change her mind. That woman is rather stubborn,” she added with frustration.
I sighed. Missing Whitney only added to the pain in my chest, but it was as if my mother had known about what was happening here and that was her way of reminding me what I must do. What my responsibilities were. As if I did not think of Whitney’s future daily.
“Mother is a bitter pill I have learned to live with. However, for Whitney’s sake, I must find a husband. There is not time for me to dwell on… other things,” I said, more for myself than for Aunt Harriet.
“Nonsense. Alfred has sent your mother yet another decent sum of money. She and your sister are comfortable, I assure you. He wants you to take your time and find the gentleman that makes you happy. Marriage does not have to be for status or name, Miriam. You can marry for love. I did and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I want you to have that freedom.”
Tears I would not shed stung my eyes and I forced a smile through the emotion. For I had already guessed that my aunt and uncle loved one another. It was obvious in their marriage. As much as I wanted something like theirs, I feared I wouldn’t be given the same opportunity. Unlike my aunt Harriet, I had fallen in love with a man who did not love me in return. It was a foolish thing to do and one I hadn’t planned on, but it had happened without my realizing it at all.
“I will be forever grateful for all you and Uncle Alfred have done for me. My time here with the two of you has been some of the best moments of my life. I shall always hold these memories close to my heart.” I could speak those words honestly when others I could not. For I did not believe I would marry for love but telling Aunt Harriet that would only break her heart. She was such a gentle soul.
Aunt Harriet closed the distance between us and sat down beside me on the settee in such a quick movement it startled me. Then I was pulled into an embrace, just before she began to sob rather loudly. I was not sure if it had been my words that upset her or why we were embracing. I patted her shoulder in an awkward attempt at consoling her, but I could not be sure that was what she required.
“Good heavens, woman, why are you mauling the child with emotion?” Uncle Alfred’s voice boomed through the room and I had never been more relieved.
Aunt Harriet did not release me, however. If anything, she clung tighter to me, clutching me against her as she cried. I looked over her shoulder toward him in hopes he could find a way to help his stricken wife.
“Harriet, dear, I believe you are traumatizing the child. Do release her,” he said more gently this time.
Aunt Harriet sniffled then and eased her hold on me before slowly pulling back. “Oh my, did I frighten you?”
I was not sure how to answer this. The wailing and clinging to me was rather terrifying. However, it was typical for Aunt Harriet to be loud and to do things with more exuberant emotion than most.
“Of course you did! The girl has never seen such an outburst in her life. She’s English. Raised by my uptight sister. That sort of affection isn’t one practiced on this soil,” Uncle Alfred stated with a grin in his voice this time.
Aunt Harriet smiled then and wiped at the tears on her face. “I am sorry, honey. Your words were so special and I have come to love you as my own child. I just got so filled with emotion that I forgot myself and… well back home we are more affectionate,” she explained.
“And loud and emotional,” Uncle Alfred added.
Aunt Harriet glanced over her shoulder at him with a scowl and he shrugged. “Tis true.”
“My Lord, Mr. Compton is here to see Miss Bathurst,” the butler announced from the open door behind Uncle Alfred.
Uncle Alfred’s eyebrows raised in unison as he looked at me. He seemed to be asking me silently if I wanted to see Nicholas. I nodded once and he stepped back to look directly at the butler. “Very well, send him in, James,” Uncle Alfred replied.
Aunt Harriet squeezed my hand, before getting up from the settee and moving across the room and taking a seat by the window. She picked up a letter that she had left there earlier and glanced up at Uncle Alfred.
“I will be in my office if anyone needs me,” he said, before exiting the room. I wasn’t sure if Aunt Harriet’s look had been one telling him to leave or if he had not wanted to be there for the visit. One could never tell with my uncle.
My gaze shifted to Nicholas when he entered the room. Smiling, I placed the book beside me and stood up. “Good morning, Mr. Compton,” I greeted him, realizing I didn’t have to force my smile. It truly was nice to see a friendly face.
“Good morning, Miss Bathurst,” he replied. “As always you are breathtaking. You manage that with so little effort it seems.” He winked then turned toward my aunt. “Hello, Lady Wellington, you are looking lovely as well.”
Aunt Harriet blushed and waved a hand at him. “You’re such a charmer, but it isn’t me you must win over,” she said. “Would you like some tea or perhaps something to eat?”
Nicholas shook his head. “Thank you but I do not require either. I would like it very much though if Miss Bathurst would take a walk with me out to the garden. If that would be okay with you,” he added.
Aunt Harriet glanced at me for a moment then back to Nicholas. “Of course. It’s a beautiful day. The sunshine is warm and the roses are lovely. They aren’t enjoyed enough. Please go out back and make use of the bench no one ever sits on.”
Nicholas grinned and nodded then held out his arm for me to take. I did so and we made our way out to the hallway. “Do you know a better way to get to the garden in back than going out the front door and walking around?” he asked me.
“Indeed I do,” I replied and led him toward the exit on the left side of the house used mostly by servants. There was a rock paved path from the door to the small garden in the back of 18 Mayfair. Aunt Harriet did not spend much time outside, so Uncle Harriet did not worry much about the gardens here. I wondered if he did at their home in the country.
We walked in silence until we reached the one bench that sat in the shade, just near the rose garden like Aunt Harriet had mentioned. I took a seat and Nicholas hesitated before he then too sat down. The bench wasn’t very large and our bodies were close yet not so close that we touched. I didn’t get heated nor did my heart rate speed up from being this close to him.
He did smell very nice, however, and I was thankful he had come to visit. It gave me something to do rather than sit and stare at a book while my thoughts were on Ashington.
“I know that you believe yourself to be in love with Ashington. I’m a perceptive man and with you I find I am unable to take my eyes off you. Therefore, I have learned much about your expressions,” he paused then and I turned to look at him. This was not the conversation I thought we would have.
I had hoped he would come talk of things that made me laugh such as whatever silly gossip he had heard last or something trivial.
“I’m not an earl, but I’m not without wealth. I know you do not care about being accepted into London’s social rankings, but you do want that for Whitney and as you have witnessed, I am well-loved amongst the ton. My country estate is not comparable to Chatwick Hall, but it is lovely and there is room for your sister and your mother as well if you so choose. I can make you happy, Miriam. I can give you all the things you want so desperately for you sister and I can give you the one thing you seem to overlook for yourself.” He paused again then stood up.