I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. The cold air cools my heated skin in an instant as I leave the bathroom. Today, Emery and I are taking Hollis to the zoo. He’s been addicted to watching YouTube videos of all the different animals lately, so I figured what better thing to do on a Saturday afternoon than to take him to see them in person.
It’s going to take a little bit of effort to remain hidden. A hat, sunglasses, and long sleeves to hide my tattoos, even though it is nearly eighty-five degrees outside. I’ll deal with it though. The last thing I need is for someone to notice me and call the media. Gossip about the end of my engagement has died down a bit, but if they found out about Hollis, they’d have a field day. I haven’t even told my publicist yet.
Still, the look on his face will be well worth the risk.
After I’m done getting dressed, I head downstairs and into the kitchen to get a drink. Ashlyn sits at the island and from the second I walk in the room, her eyes stay locked on me. She watches me carefully as I go to the fridge and grab an energy drink out of it. When I turn around and see her squinting, my brows raise.
“What are you staring at, weirdo?” I ask her.
She tilts her head to the side and pinches her bottom lip between her thumb and index finger. “I just can’t figure it out.”
“Figure what out?”
“Why you’re so cheery all the time lately,” she says. “I mean, your band is still on hiatus. You’re living at home with Mom, which I still don’t understand because you have enough money to buy the whole damn town. And you’re not getting laid.” She clamps her mouth shut and her eyes widen. “Wait. Please don’t tell me you’re back with Lindsey.”
I throw my head back, laughing at the mere idea. “Not a chance in hell.”
“Are you sure? It would explain a lot.”
“Positive, Ash. I can’t just be in a good mood?”
She shakes her head. “No. It’s strange, and so not you.”
I chuckle and make my way around the island until I’m next to her. “I guess I just started enjoying the break. I’m home, and for the first time in years, I don’t have a million things I need to do at once. And”—I throw my arm around her—”I get to annoy my little sister and scare her new boyfriend away.”
Looking up at me, she glares. “Don’t you dare. I actually like this one.”
“I know you do. That’s exactly the problem,” I growl.
She chuckles and rolls her eyes. “Lord help the woman who ends up with you and your caveman tendencies. She better be a saint.”
As her words sink in, thoughts of Emery pass through my mind. You’d have to be blind to not see how painstakingly gorgeous she is. The way her brown hair flows down her back. How her eyes sparkle in the sunlight, and the way happiness radiates off her. You can’t be around her and not be in a good mood. And then there’s how she is with our son.
I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so protective and yet so gentle. Even within the last month, I’ve seen her patience hanging by a thread with how hard she’s been working, but still, she never takes any of it out on Hollis. She keeps her voice calm and loving with him, and maybe a little firm when needed, but never angry. It’s mesmerizing.
A part of me wonders what it would be like if she and I got together. If we finally got our chance. The same one we should have had years ago but didn’t.
Would we be happy?
Would we fail?
It’s not like I have much faith in relationships at this point, given my track record, but this is Emery. I’ve known her, and wanted her, for as long as I can remember. It was always so hard to stay away, especially knowing how much she wanted me too. It was so obvious, and sometimes I had fun messing with her, but I don’t think anyone really knew how much I felt the same way.
But still, she’s my sister’s best friend.
Mother of my son or not, she’s off limits for the foreseeable future.
At least until Ashlyn knows the truth.
I pull up to Emery’s apartment to find her and Hollis already outside. He’s running around in circles, and the second Em points out my car, he starts jumping up and down. She chuckles and shakes her head as I get out and open the back door.
“Hey, little man!” I greet him.
He smiles brightly. “We’re going to the zoo!”
“I know!” I match his excitement. “Climb in so we can get going.”
Emery gets in the passenger seat as I buckle Hollis into his seat. When I’m done, I get back in the car and put my seatbelt on. Em looks over at me, confused.
“Why does everyone keep looking at me like that today?”
She giggles. “I’m just wondering why you’re dressed for snow.”
Oh. “I’m incognito.”
Her brows raise and she reaches over and grabs at my sweatshirt. “Is that why you’re wearing a Sound the Sirens hoodie? Harland, you’re practically a walking billboard.”
“Am I really?” I look down. Shit. “Hold on. I have another in the back.”
I get out of the car and go around to the back, where I have another hoodie. It’s solid black, but I still check it over to make sure there is no band insignia on it or anything. As I was getting dressed this morning, I decided not to wear a shirt underneath the hoodie in an attempt to keep me from getting too hot, which means taking this off leaves me bare from the waist up. I’m about to pull on the new sweatshirt when I catch Emery watching me in the rearview mirror. Her cheeks pink when she notices she’s caught, but she doesn’t look away. I wink at her and close the back hatch, ending the moment long before I wanted to.
When I get back into the car, Emery rolls her eyes at me playfully, but the second Hollis starts talking about how excited he is, the moment is gone. Honestly, it’s probably for the best. She and I are unfamiliar territory, and until we have the chance to explore it, I’d rather stay in the safe zone.
As I pull out onto the road, I take a cigarette out of the pack and put it between my lips, but before I can even light it, Em reaches over and rips it out of my mouth. She breaks it in half, and throws it out the window. My brows furrow as I glance over at her, but she’s completely unfazed.
“The fuck?” I mutter.
Her eyes widen, but it’s Hollis who speaks. “Potty word!”
“Yeah, Harland,” she teases. “That’s a potty word.”
“You have to put a dollar in the swear jar when we get home!” Hollis yells excitedly.
I chuckle. “You have a swear jar?”
Knowing Em, she probably fills that thing up once a week. The girl has the mouth of a sailor, and zero apologies for it. She shrugs and puts her feet up on the dash.
“He uses the money to buy toys I probably would have bought for him anyway.” She glances back at Hollis, who is now happily absorbed in playing with his iPad. “And if you think you’re smoking in the car with him, I’ll be making you say a hell of a lot more than fuck.”
“Mommy!” Hollis chastises.
She lays her head back against the headrest. “I know, H. Potty word.”
Emery hits a few buttons on the center console, and my most recent album comes through the speakers. I can’t help but subtly watch as she sings along. I always knew she liked my music, but I had no idea she was an actual fan.