Emery goes back to clean up the tables, and I make my move, coming up behind her as she leans over a picnic table to grab some trash.
“Do either of them know how legitimate that name is?” I growl with my lips pressed to her ear. “Aunt Ashlyn.”
She sighs. “Harland, please. Not now.”
“Then when? Huh?” I'm trying to reign in my anger before people hear us, but it's so fucking hard. “When?”
“I don't know,” she answers and runs her fingers through her hair. “I just need to figure this out. I need some time.”
Time. “You mean the past four fucking years weren't enough?”
For a second, it looks like I hit my target, but it's quickly masked over with a hardness I've never seen in her.
“You don't get to talk to me like that,” she hisses, shoving her finger into my chest. “You're the one who ruined this. You're the one who hurt me. You're the one who took my virginity like it was yours to have, and then got back with your ex while I was still in your house.”
Wait, what? “Took your…”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Don't act like you didn't know. And I may have made some shitty choices since then, but I did what I thought was right and worked with what I had. So, if you're going to stand here and yell at me, you can just leave.”
Turning back, she resumes what she was doing like nothing happened, but my mind is spiraling. I had my suspicions that night, especially with how tight she was, but I assumed I was overthinking it. She was eighteen and seemed so sure of herself.
I'm such an asshole.
No matter where I drive to, I can't seem to get my mind to stop reeling. So, I pull up to the lake I always used to come to, and dial Vance—hoping Rhys isn't with him this time. I don't need his fucking shit right now.
“I figured you'd call me as soon as you left,” V tells me. “How was the party?”
I smile at the memory of Hollis. “He's incredible. He's so smart, and probably one of the happiest kids I've ever seen. And he’s polite.”
He snorts. “Spoken like a true father.”
“Fuck, you're right. I didn't even realize.”
“So, if it went well, why do you sound so messed up?”
I lean my head back against the headrest and sigh. “I really fucked up, V. Ashlyn made a comment about Em raising Hollis alone, and I saw red. I cornered Emery about it.”
“Shit,” he groans. “Did anyone hear you?”
“I don't think so, but she gave it right back to me.” I run my fingers through my hair. “She was a virgin that night.”
He goes quiet for a minute before answering. “Are we pretending you didn't know that?”
“I didn't know that.”
Chuckling for a second, he takes a deep breath. “You did. You may not have wanted to believe it, but you did. I mean, you saw how her parents were. Who did you expect her to sleep with?”
“Well, Ashlyn was fucking the neighbor kid.”
“Oh, so clearly if her best friend is having sex, that means she is, too.”
Fuck. “Don't do that.”
He huffs humorously. “Do what? Tell you you're being a dumbass? I'm your best friend, H, but I'm not going to beat around the bush here. Everyone could see that girl was in love with you. It doesn't surprise me at all that she gave it up to you without a second thought.”
“And then I went and fucked her over.”
“Yep.” No sugar coating.
“Still, that doesn't make it right that she didn't tell me about Hollis,” I argue.
“You're right,” he agrees. “It doesn't. But imagine what your life would have been like if she had. Do you really think our band would have gone as far as it did? I mean, I'm not saying it wouldn't have been worth it to give up everything for your son. I'm sure it would have. But everything would be different if she had.”
He's right. If she had told me she was pregnant, I would have done the right thing. I wouldn't have gone on tour, and I probably would have sold all my instruments just to help her pay for things for the baby. But now...now I'm in a place where I can take care of them. I can give them the life they deserve. I may not have been around for the beginning of his life, but that doesn't mean I can't be now. She never said I couldn't see him.
“I hate when you make me feel like an asshole,” I tell Vance.
He snickers. “Someone's gotta do it.”
As we get off the phone, one thing has never been clearer. Emery and I have both made mistakes in our past, and it's not a pissing war of who fucked up more. There's a little boy who needs us both.
Hollis matters most here.
Chapter Five
Emery
I watch as Hollis rips through all of his presents. It's normally my favorite part of his birthday—seeing the huge smile on his face as he sees all the cool new things he got. But today, I can't seem to get myself into it. Harland's words replay through my mind and every time I close my eyes, I see the way he looked at me.
Like I was selfish.
Like I was cruel.
Like I ruined his life.
Mila plops herself down next to me. “I'd say it's your party and you can cry if you want to, but it's not.”
That manages to pull a small laugh out of me. Mila had to work and wasn't able to make it to Hollis's party, but she made sure to come over immediately after to see him open all his gifts. I was grateful for it, because carrying a whole SUV full of presents up two flights of stairs while watching a hyperactive four-year-old is nearly impossible.
“He was so mad,” I murmur.
She takes a sip of her drink before sighing. “Maybe he wouldn't be if you just came clean about it.”
I shake my head without giving it a second thought. “No. It wouldn't do any good.”
“You don't know that.”
“I do,” I tell her as I stand up.
Ending the conversation there, I walk over to Hollis and sit on the floor—forcing myself into the moment. I won't get many years of this, so I want to enjoy every last one.
By the time Holland has all of his presents opened, and I manage to get all the wrapping paper cleaned up, I'm exhausted. The party today was a lot to handle. Thankfully, there's only a few more hours until Hollis goes to bed and I can crash.
I'm in the middle of opening a set of action figures when there's a knock at the door. Mila and I share a look before I get up. It's not like I'm expecting anyone. Ashlyn is on a date with a guy she met at work, and my sister is already in my living room.
I open the door, and my chest tightens when I see Harland standing on the other side of it. He looks just as good as he did at the party today, in his black jeans and AC/DC T-shirt. The black sunglasses that hang from his collar only draw my attention away from his chiseled jaw and onto his sculpted chest.
A soft chuckle snaps me out of my stupor, and I straighten up, looking him in the eyes. “Did you come to yell at me some more?”