“That's shit, man,” Rhys says. “She seriously never told you?”
“Do you really think I would have abandoned my son by choice?”
“No,” Vance answers for him, and I can only imagine what face Rhys is making right now.
Prick.
“So, what are you going to do?” my best friend asks.
I sigh heavily. “I don't know, but I need to figure it out.”
The whole night, I barely get a wink of sleep. I can't help but remember the look on Emery's face when I all but told her I know Hollis is mine. The way she couldn't look me in the eyes as she nodded, and the feelings that rushed through me when it was confirmed.
I have a son.
A little boy who’s walking and talking and keeping everyone on their toes.
And then comes the realization that I missed out on so many milestones. His first steps. His first words. His damn birth, for fuck’s sake. They're all things I can't get back. Things she took from me.
The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I mean, I knew there was a chance after the condom broke that night. Especially since we fucked bare in the pool. But I thought that she would tell me if she got pregnant.
Surprise. I was wrong. Again.
Just like I was wrong about Lindsey.
As I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling while the sun comes up, I start to wonder what my life would’ve been like if I hadn't gotten back with Lindsey at all. That night with Emery—fuck, it was everything I wanted for so long. She was always there, with her perfect body and innocent doe eyes. I wanted her, but she was off limits.
My sister was my other half growing up, and as much as I may have picked on her, I never wanted to do anything to betray her. Even now, she's too important to me. So, dating her best friend, and indirectly taking her away from Ashlyn, was something forbidden. I don't know if that made me want it even more, but I told myself I'd never let it happen.
Until it did.
After finding out we were getting a record deal, I knew I'd be leaving. I was going to be on tour, and everything in my life was about to change. I sat out by the pool and thought about it all, let it play through my mind, and then she showed up. Emery came out looking every bit like what I needed in that moment.
And I was weak.
She's always made me weak.
I gave in.
And I loved it.
But the next morning came with the shame and regret I should have felt the night before, when she was staring back at me like I hung the damn moon. So, when Lindsey came over to apologize, I convinced myself that she was who I wanted. And I took her back despite the heartbroken look in Emery's eyes.
I pull up to the park where Emery is throwing Hollis's birthday party. It's got a huge field where she has an obnoxiously large bounce house set up. There are blue balloons with the number 4 tied in every possible place, and a face painter table is set up by the playground.
A few little kids run around, and it only takes me a second to point him out.
Hollis.
He's adorable, with Emery's light brown hair and my green eyes. He even has her smile. He's perfect, but she kept him from me.
I go to the back of my truck and pull out the massive ride-on Jeep I got him, throwing it over my shoulder as I walk toward the party. Don't get me wrong, it's fucking heavy, but it's not a bad thing to let her see my muscles flex.
“Ugh,” Ashlyn groans when she sees me. “You're always such a showoff.”
Emery walks up next to her as I place the Jeep down. I haven't seen her since I walked out of her apartment that day, saying I needed some time to think. Think on what exactly, I'm not sure. But in that moment, that apartment was way too small. I needed to breathe, and I knew the mood I was in right then was not the mood I want to be in when I meet my son.
“You didn't have to do that,” she tells me.
I arch a brow at her in a silent message she clearly understands, but my sister is here and I'm not trying to throw her under the bus. “It's no problem.”
“Whoa!” a little voice says in awe. “Is that for me?”
Turning my head, I see Hollis standing here with wide eyes as he stares at the Jeep. I squat down until I'm his height.
“It is, little man,” I tell him. “Happy Birthday.”
He lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree, and my chest aches at the sight. Hollis walks up slowly and carefully looks it over, running his hand across the custom paint job I had a friend of mine do on it. It says his name on the side in graffiti letters, and a teal paint job Ashlyn said is his favorite color.
“What do you say, Hollis?” Emery asks him.
Looking at his mom for a second, he rushes over and gives me a big hug. “Thank you!”
I close my eyes and try to hide the fact that I'm breaking under the surface as I hug my son for the first time. “You're welcome, buddy.”
It only lasts a minute before he runs off to drive it around with his friends, but my world is changed by that single minute. I stand up and look at Emery, who murmurs a quiet thank you. I nod in response, because I'm not sure I know what to say to her yet.
Sitting on a picnic table, I can't seem to take my eyes off Hollis, except for when it's to look at his mom. It's one thing to watch what an incredible little kid he is, but it's another to see her with him. He looks at his mom like she's the greatest thing in the world, and she treats him with a level of care I've only seen from one other person—my own mother.
Ashlyn comes over and climbs up next to me. “Don't even think about it.”
I look over at her in confusion, and she laughs.
“I see the way you're looking at her. Don't do it.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, okay.”
It's quiet for a second as we both watch Emery cut the birthday cake and hand it out to all the guests.
“She's been through a lot,” my sister tells me. “With her parents abandoning her and her having to raise Hollis on her own. She plays it off well, and does an incredible job, but it's been hard on her.”
Her words strike a nerve, because she didn't have to do this on her own. She chose to. She chose to raise him on her own. She kept me from my damn son.
“I'm just saying,” she continues when I don't answer, “you've both been through a lot, and while you're older now, I don't think it's a good idea.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Still have no idea what you're talking about.”
“If you say so.”
Hollis finishes his cake in record timing and comes running this way with Emery in tow. “Aunt Ashlyn, Mommy won't push me on the swings!”
Ash giggles and pretends to be mad at Emery. “Mean Mommy!”
Em rolls her eyes. “I told you. Mommy needs to start cleaning up.”
My sister jumps off the table and puts out her hand for him to hold. “Let's go swing.”
“Thank you,” Emery tells her as they walk off.
I try to leave it alone. Really, I do. This isn't the time or the place, but I'm so sick of the women in my life making choices that fuck me over. And this? This is a massive fuck you.