“Thank you, Daddy,” I was finally able to get out through my tight throat. “This is perfect.”
I hugged him and then Mom, who was still beaming with pride over the huge acceptance envelopes.
“It’s in the parking lot now,” Mom said with a laugh. “Reid had to keep it hidden at one of the construction sites all week.”
I shot a mock glare at Max, Elias, and Lyric. “So that’s why they wanted me inside, to keep me from seeing Reid driving the car over?”
“Guilty,” she confirmed, still laughing as I got winks from the three guys. “You should take Ryan for a quick drive in it. Show him how safe it is before he loses his mind.” Her laughter faded as she glanced over my shoulder, and I knew she was looking at him. “Why is he all the way over there? Did I miss something while I was busy? Are you two fighting?”
“Of course not,” I assured her, stepping back. “I was just about to go talk to him and thank him for coming.”
“Thank him for…” Her blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You haven’t talked to him all day, have you?” I shrugged. “But you’re not fighting?”
“It’s nothing, Mom.” I stepped away from her. “See, I’m going to talk to him right now.”
“Nova.” She caught my hand. “Did he even know about you graduating early? Because the look on his face when your dad made the announcement—”
“No,” I admitted. “I haven’t found the time to tell him about my early graduation or that I might be going to college in New York in the fall.”
“Might?” She kept repeating my words like a parrot. “What is this ‘might’? You got into all three of your top choice schools. Dad and I are just waiting for you to decide which one you want before we send them a check.”
I lifted my hand and clutched at the compass Elias had placed around my neck, willing it to point me in the right direction—and give me the strength to stay on the path I needed to follow. “We can talk about it later. I need to speak to Ryan.”
Turning, I didn’t have to search the crowd to find him. My gaze went straight to where he was standing by himself, as if drawn there by a magnet. His shoulders were tense, his forehead slightly scrunched as his eyes clocked my smallest movement. I clenched my fingers around the key fob, and I reminded myself of all the hours of training Anya had made me suffer through.
But those torturous training exercises had nothing on the devastation occurring within me at that moment.
While everyone was getting their cake, I moved through the masses toward the door. I didn’t wait to see if Ryan followed as I stepped outside and walked over to the white Tesla Model S. The car was beautiful, and I had no doubts it was as safe as Dad had assured Ryan it would be. He was just as overprotective as my best friend was…
The pain that tore through me suddenly left me breathless.
Was Ryan still my best friend? It was more than apparent that I wasn’t his any longer, but did I still get to claim him as mine?
Would there ever be anyone I could trust or love enough who could even take that position if—and when—it became vacant?
“Nova.” I clenched my eyes shut at the sound of my name coming from his lips. I wanted to turn around, throw myself into his arms, and let him make everything better again. Just as he’d done all my life. But for once, that was impossible. He couldn’t make this better because no one could force themselves to love another person.
Inhaling slowly, I called upon the reserved strength I kept hidden deep—just as Anya had taught me—and walked toward my new car without a word to him. Opening the driver’s door, I slid into the seat and took in all the features. Moments later, the passenger door opened, and Ryan joined me.
“Put your seat belt on,” he instructed quietly.
I fastened it in place and waited for him to do the same before starting the car. Neither of us spoke as I pulled out onto the main road and turned in the direction of my house. But instead of stopping in my driveway, I kept going. Maybe if I just drove, he wouldn’t want to talk. When he’d taught me how to drive, he’d always been hesitant to do much more than give pointers, not wanting to distract me.
But with each mile that we rode in silence, his tension only heightened.
“Are you even going to talk to me?” he finally burst out, his frustration making his voice sharper than normal.
I pulled up in front of the playground at the park on the outer edge of town and parked. Dropping my hands into my lap, I sat there, staring straight ahead. “What is there to say?” I asked.
“Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe you could start with why you didn’t tell me that you were going to be coming to New York an entire year earlier than expected.” He took off his seat belt and turned to face me, his bulky body taking up most of the front of the car. “There are things I need to put in place for when you move—”
“I’m not,” I cut him off and finally turned my head to look at him.
His brows pulled together in confusion. “Not what?”
“Moving,” I told him as I met his gaze, refusing to react to the way he flinched at my answer. “I’m not moving to New York. I’ll be staying here and going to Trinity next fall.”
19
Ryan
I sat there, frozen, waiting for her to get to the punch line of the unfunniest joke I’d ever heard.
That was what all this was, just some prank Nova was playing. Any moment, she would start laughing and explain why she’d thought it would be a good idea to make my heart stop beating with her poor attempt at being humorous.
But there was no sudden outburst of her sweet laughter. Not even a twitch of her lips as she tried to fight a grin. Her tone was matter-of-fact, her gaze verging on blank as she continued to stare at me like I should understand why she was tearing me apart with not only the distance she’d kept between us all day, but by trashing the plans for our future on top of it.
Muttering a curse, I reached over and unclipped her seat belt before lifting her out of her seat and onto my lap. She didn’t struggle, but as soon as her ass touched my legs, I realized my mistake.
Fuck.
The feel of her in my arms, her delicate scent filling my nose, her warmth seeping into my frozen body, was enough to break me. My cock thickened to the point of pain, straining to get to her, and I had to shift her so that she didn’t feel how close to cracking and devouring her I was. One brush of that perfect ass over my length and I knew it would be game over. We were completely alone in the car, no one around for miles, by the looks of the vacant park. It would be so easy to strip her and sink so deep she would never want us to be anything but a part of each other for the rest of our lives.
Gritting my teeth, I cupped the side of her face, trying to focus on what she meant if she wasn’t joking. “Explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” she told me with a simple lift of one shoulder. “I’ve decided it is better for everyone that I stay here in Creswell Springs.”
“It’s not fucking better for me!” I exploded, frustration clawing at me. “We have a plan, Nova.”