“B, you okay?” Jen asked, her worry coming loud and clear through their bond.
“I’m fine, baby. We’ll talk later.”
There was a pause and then she said, “Okay. Love you.”
“And I you.”
Adam, Fane, and Costin appeared a minute later. Decebel wasn’t surprised that Fane had brought his third. Costin, though young, had been through a ton of stuff most older wolves had not. He had plenty of wisdom when it came to pack dynamics.
“Tell them what you told us,” Decebel said to Adam.
By the time Adam was finished telling Fane and Costin how Crina was doing, he was sitting on the ground with his knees bent and his forearms resting on them. He was a mate who had no idea how to help his female, and it was tearing him up inside. Decebel and the three other males squatted down next to Adam. They had all been in his shoes at one time or another. The fae male would have to learn that this was the purpose of the pack.
*****
Jacque had been watching Crina all day, so much so that she was beginning to feel like a creeper. But the new alpha female couldn’t help it. She could tell a member of her pack was struggling. Yesterday, Crina had seemed a little off, but Jacque had assumed the she-wolf’s mood had something to do with Adam’s shower comment. Today, however, Jacque could feel pain and confusion coming from Crina through the pack bond. Jacque wondered if this is what Alina had experienced. How had she dealt with it? The emotional strain must have been enormous. For centuries, Alina had borne all the fears, concerns, and worries of her pack. How had she managed her own emotions through all that? Great Luna, help me.
Jacque glanced at Sally. She made a motion with her head toward Crina. Then she tried out the tighter bond she seem to have gained with Jen and Sally since taking on the alpha female role. She found she was able to send her thoughts about Crina to Sally.
The healer walked over to her and knelt down to grab a strand of lights. She leaned close to Jacque. “Something is seriously wrong,” Sally whispered.
“So, I’m not the only one who’s noticed?”
“I brushed up against her earlier and might have accidentally performed a little healer magic, just checking her out, making sure everything is okay,” Sally said, not looking the least bit guilty. “It’s bad, Jac. Her mind is nothing but confusion and chaos. Whatever she’s dealing with, it’s eating her alive.”
Jacque took a deep breath. “Not on my watch.” She walked over to where Crina stood. The woman was attempting to untangle a strand of lights that Jacque was sure she’d been working on for the better part of an hour.
“Crina,” Jacque said gently but firmly. Now she could see the she-wolf’s hands were trembling. Jacque reached out and placed her own hands over Crina’s. “I’m not Alina. I know that. But you are my friend. I love you. We’re pack mates, and we don’t have to deal with things alone.” Jacque didn’t know how the woman would respond. Will she think I’m too forward? Will she think I’m trying to take Alina’s place? Jacque knew she could never do that, and she wouldn’t attempt it. All Jacque could do was try to be the best alpha female she possibly could. And that started with showing her female pack mates she cared, that she hurt when they hurt.
Crina dropped the lights and turned her hands to grab onto Jacque’s. She squeezed so tightly it actually hurt Jacque’s fingers, but she didn’t care. Crina’s head slowly rose until she looked directly into Jacque’s eyes. The new alpha saw her pack mate’s eyes were filled with tears.
Jacque immediately pulled her into a hug. “Whatever it is, we can deal with it together,” she whispered as she held Crina and let the woman cry. Jacque knew sometimes a good, hard cry was necessary in order to begin the healing process. She’d done it countless times herself. A minute later, Sally and Zara appeared on either side of Crina and wrapped their arms around her, too. Jacque felt Sally’s magic as the healer pushed her light and peace into their suffering pack mate.
Eventually, Crina’s tears slowed. She released Jacque and patted both Zara’s and Sally’s hands. Then she wiped her face and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
Sally took Crina’s hand and pulled her over to the couch. They’d been decorating the largest living area in the mansion all day. It wasn’t until Sally had been cursing a blue streak over a set of her own tangled lights that Jacque wondered why the hell they were doing all this work when Peri, Elle, or even Adam could decorate this whole place with a snap of their fingers. She’d called Jen on her cell phone, but her BFF had been conveniently unavailable. Jacque had left a not-so-nice message, then called Peri. The fae had said one word—"No”—and then hung up on her.
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Sally said as she sat beside Crina. Jacque sat on her other side, while Zara sat on the floor, her legs bent and crossed at the ankles. The healer’s eyes were filled with sadness as she looked at Crina. “We can just sit with you. These stupid lights are enough to make anyone cry.”
Crina gave them a weak smile. She blew out a breath that made her cheeks puff out and then looked at Jacque. “You’re doing a great job. Don’t doubt that. The fact that you noticed I’m not okay shows how much you care.”
Jacque didn’t know what to say. Being the alpha female was kind of like being a parent. She had the constant fear she was going to screw up her kids so badly they would one day need therapy. So she simply said, “Thank you.”
They sat for a few minutes in silence, Sally holding one of Crina’s hands and Jacque holding the other. Finally, Crina cleared her throat. “It’s been over a month since Adam and I have slept in the same bed.”
Jacque’s eyes widened, but she quickly schooled her expression. Of everything Crina could have said, that had not been what she’d been expecting. Before Jacque could ask any questions, the woman continued.
“When Vasile and Alina died, something inside of me died, too. In all of us,” she added. “And I did what was natural to me and to my wolf. I just wanted my mate. I needed him close. My wolf, she was … sort of lost. I was falling apart, and Adam was holding me together. Considering he’s not a wolf, and I know he doesn’t have the same instincts as a Canis lupus, he was great. He was there every second and never complained that I was being clingy. My mate never asked me for space. He would hold me for hours. He would run his fingers through my hair and just having that small touch, it was …”
“Everything,” Jacque said.
Crina nodded. “Yes. I was so wrapped up in my grief that I didn’t even consider he might be hurting, too. He’d known them a long time, longer than me, even if he wasn’t close to them until recently. I never felt anything from him through our bond other than complete devotion.
“He was tender when I needed him to be and playful when I was sinking too low. He’d even learned what it meant for mates to fight for dominance.” She blushed.
“Bet you wish Jen was here for that one,” Jacque teased.
“Please, no,” Sally begged.
Jacque noticed Zara frowning.
“Why would mates fight for dominance?” Zara asked.