From the backseat of the limousine that would take them to the church, then to the gravesite, Gage tried not to think too much, fearful he might throw himself out of a moving vehicle, refusing to do this, refusing to say goodbye to Kylie, to watch as they placed her in her final resting place.
Tears clogged his throat, but he held them at bay. He had to be strong for the kids.
“Where’s Daddy-O?”
“He’s comin’,” Gage assured Avery, planting a half smile on his face. “I promise, you’ll see him in a little while.”
Gage had spent the past four days feeling as though he was walking through a nightmare without the benefit of knowing he would eventually wake up, that the horror he’d experienced could be put behind him. But this wasn’t a nightmare and he wouldn’t be waking up. The horror was now his new normal.
Kylie was dead, Travis had retreated from the world, and Gage had been forced to explain to his kids what happened and help them understand that, with time, they would all get through this, even if he didn’t necessarily believe it himself.
Thankfully he had help taking care of the details. Lorrie and Curtis were pitching in, cooking meals, helping with the kids, and delegating tasks and chores to Travis’s brothers. They were also helping Kylie’s parents and her sister, ensuring they had everything they needed so they could focus solely on grieving. Gage knew Jessie was having a difficult time dealing with the loss of her sister. She continued to blame herself, claiming she could’ve done more, should’ve done more. She was in denial, a stage of grief Gage was all too familiar with.
In all the time Gage had known the Walkers, starting back when he’d first become friends with Kaleb in elementary school, never had he seen them rally together quite like this. And that was saying something considering the Walkers were always there to help those in need. But this … this sadness was like a wet blanket shrouding everyone. They were doing their best to ensure he didn’t feel alone, but even with their kindness, Gage felt as though he had no one to turn to.
He wouldn’t deny it helped to stay busy, to have something to take care of, but it would’ve been easier if he had Travis at his side. Never had Gage thought he would be the stronger of the two when it came to something like this. Then again, Travis wasn’t giving him much of an option.
When the car came to a stop in front of the church, the kids turned to him. He could feel all those sad eyes waiting for him to direct them on what to do next. He had already explained to Kate, Kade, Avery, and Haden that today they were going to say goodbye to their mother one last time. Kate was in denial, refusing to believe this was real, retreating from everyone just like Travis. Gage couldn’t blame her. If he thought it might bring Kylie back, he would do the same thing. As for the others, he knew they didn’t truly understand it, but he thought it was important, as did the rest of the family, that they be here today.
The only person who hadn’t chimed in, hadn’t offered his opinion had been Travis. Try as he might, Gage could not get Travis to speak to him, and he had a feeling the man believed he was responsible for what happened. Gage understood how he would because he blamed himself, too. If he’d only trusted Travis’s gut when he insisted they find Juliet Prince and bring her to justice. If he had only listened, Kylie would still be with them today, not being buried one day after what should’ve been her thirty-seventh birthday. She hadn’t gotten to celebrate her thirty-seventh birthday. Never would.
Gage fought to breathe around the knot in his throat while he helped the kids out of the car, walked with them toward the steps leading into the church. His heart physically ached as he ascended those steps one at a time.
The door was standing open, Pastor Bob waiting inside to greet them.
But it wasn’t the pastor Gage saw first. No, his eyes instantly moved to Travis, who was standing there, looking as lost and as gutted as Gage felt.
“Daddy-O!” Kate yelled, racing right into Travis’s arms.
Without fail, Travis picked her up, held her tight to him, and kissed her on the forehead as all the other kids, save for Maddox, who simply kicked his feet against Gage’s hip, wrapped themselves around Travis’s legs.
Their eyes met over the heads of all their kids, and Gage felt a fresh wave of grief. He could see that Travis was doing his best to pull away from them. Not physically but emotionally. Gage knew the man would be there because they needed him, but even if he was there in body, he wouldn’t be there in spirit.
Problem was, Gage had already lost Kylie, the woman he loved beyond measure. He didn’t think he would survive losing Travis at the same time.
*
After having experienced the devastation of one miscarriage, Curtis Walker had been blessed with the birth of seven healthy boys. And from the first moment he laid eyes on each of them, he had prayed they would outlive him, that he would never have to experience the loss of another child, that his beautiful bride would never have to suffer that loss either.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t been specific enough with his prayer, because he now knew the loss of another child, felt the gut-wrenching pain of sorrow as it flooded his body.
No, Kylie wasn’t his child by birth. He hadn’t had the honor of hearing her first word or holding her hand on the first day of school. But he’d had the pleasure of witnessing her grow up. Only he’d seen it through pictures her father proudly showed anyone who wanted to see. Ones of her holding up her lunch box on those first days of school, some when she was proudly wearing her Halloween costume and preparing to take her little sister trick-or-treating. Even one of her standing beside her first car, her smile wide, her joy evident. Joe Prescott had so many pictures—birthdays, Christmases, graduations—so many but not nearly enough, Curtis knew.
Regardless, Kylie Marie Prescott Walker was as much Curtis’s child as his own sons were. Without her vibrancy, a piece of his heart was now missing, and he knew the same could be said for Lorrie and every other member of his family.
Curtis had watched his wife these past few days, knew the only reason Lorrie was able to keep moving forward was because she had to. She had to ensure that Kylie’s sister had what she needed because Lorrie refused to let Jessie endure another ounce of weight upon her shoulders during this impossible time.
And Lorrie was doing her best to support Joe and Melissa, Kylie’s father and stepmother, so they could grieve the loss of their oldest child, something that was painful enough without also dealing with the fact that yesterday would’ve been Kylie’s thirty-seventh birthday.
Thankfully, Lorrie had help. Every single one of them was putting one foot in front of the other, holding each other up, celebrating the beauty that Kylie had brought to this world while also suffering on the inside. Zoey, Kennedy, V, and even Cheyenne, who had put her tour on hold indefinitely, were taking turns watching kids, helping Lorrie cook meals, and sitting with Jessie when they forced Braydon to give his wife and himself a breather.
Ethan, Beau, Sawyer, Kaleb, and Brendon were assisting with chores, helping the women with the kids, trying to keep them entertained as much as possible. They were doing what they could for Travis and Gage; all the while, they were handling the loss as best they could.
As for him … well, Curtis was trying to remain stoic for those who needed him. Especially today, as everyone in the church dealt with the pain of losing one of the most generous and kind women Curtis had ever known.