Kade, Avery, and Kate weren’t giving in quite so easily, but Travis didn’t mind. He had settled in his recliner with Avery and her little fuzzy blanket in his lap, while Kade sat on the floor with his video game controller in his hand. Kate was lying on the couch, her head on Gage’s thigh as she watched her brother. Every so often, Travis would look over, watch Gage as he lightly brushed Kate’s hair with his hand.
Travis focused on breathing, fought the urge to look toward the stairs, to wonder what Kylie was doing. On nights like this, she would often sneak upstairs for some quiet time of her own. She had loved to read, and whenever possible, she would carve out the time to enjoy a bath, a book, and a glass of wine.
Never again.
He felt the emotion bubble in his chest, but he held it back. He did not want the kids to see him fall apart. This was hard enough on them; he did not need to make it worse. But even as he glanced from one kid to the next, he couldn’t help but think that this was what Kylie had built. This family … this was all her. And now she wasn’t here with them.
Minutes ticked by as they remained where they were. Kate and Avery didn’t last long, falling asleep with nothing to keep them preoccupied. It wasn’t until Kade reclined on the floor that Travis decided it was time for them all to get up to their beds. They’d had a long, emotional day and they needed to sleep.
With Gage’s help, they got the kids tucked in, and when Travis returned downstairs, it was to find Gage in the kitchen. He was leaning back against the counter, a glass of scotch in his hand. When he saw Travis, he picked up another, handed it over.
Travis took it, swallowed a sip, then met Gage’s eyes. “I’m sorry about the past few days.”
Gage nodded, took a drink.
Travis knew that wasn’t forgiveness, because his actions were unforgivable. He’d left Gage alone to deal with the hard parts while he sulked here in this cold, lonely house, acting as though he was the only one affected by Kylie’s death.
Before he could offer more apologies or explain so Gage would understand his reasons, his husband finished his drink, set the glass in the sink, and walked past him.
Travis didn’t turn around, didn’t beg or plead. He deserved the cold shoulder from Gage. Hell, he deserved far worse than that.
The swinging door flapped shut upon Gage’s exit, making Travis close his eyes briefly, the sadness of it all filling him once more.
Rather than dwell on it, Travis finished his drink, washed the dirty glasses, and put them back in the cupboard. He checked the contents of the refrigerator, made a note on the grocery list, and planned out the kids’ breakfast for the morning. It was important to get them back into a routine and Travis wanted to be ready.
With nothing left to do, Travis forced himself to go to bed, flipping off the lights in the house on the way to the main-floor guest room. Aside from taking the kids to bed earlier, Travis hadn’t been upstairs, and for now, he intended to keep it that way. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to handle seeing his bedroom or to smell Kylie’s lingering perfume.
After pulling off his boots and socks, removing his jeans, he fell back in the bed wearing his boxers and T-shirt. Because he hadn’t bothered turning on the lamp, he was forced to lie in the dark room, staring up at the ceiling and the dim lines formed by the porch light shining in through the window.
Sleep didn’t come, but Travis didn’t expect it to. His brain wouldn’t shut off, his thoughts of the day at the park, the horrific scene that had ended the world as he knew it.
He had no idea how long he’d been there when he heard the light squeak of the door opening. When he lifted his head, he thought he would see Kate or maybe Kade needing him to tuck them back in. His kids weren’t standing in the doorway though.
“Everything all right?” Travis pushed himself up onto his elbows, watching Gage standing there, backlit from the light in the foyer.
“No,” he said simply, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.
Travis was frozen in place. On one hand, he was grateful Gage had come to him because he needed the comfort even if he didn’t deserve it. But at the same time, he was terrified Gage was going to finally lay the blame at Travis’s feet, where it belonged.
He held his breath, waiting to see which direction Gage was going with this.
He didn’t have to wait long when Gage moved closer, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. The next to go were his sweatpants, and then Gage was crawling over Travis, his hard, warm body a balm to Travis’s aching soul.
“I need you,” Gage whispered softly, and Travis could hear the tears in his voice.
Travis cupped his face. “I need you, too.”
He pulled Gage down to him, their lips seeking and finding the little bit of comfort they could provide. Time became obsolete as their tongues mated, hands roaming. At some point, they managed to remove Travis’s clothes, leaving them skin to skin.
It was easy to get caught up in the moment. It was a welcome distraction, something to hang on to for a short time before the world intruded again.
Travis didn’t ask for what he wanted, nor did Gage. They’d been together long enough to know what it took to please the other.
When Gage’s cool, slick hand gripped his cock, Travis realized his husband had come prepared. With firm strokes, he lubed Travis’s cock, drawing long, ragged moans from his throat. And when Travis could take no more, he settled between Gage’s thighs and sank into the blessed heat of his body. He growled low in his throat as a sinful pleasure washed over him, a feeling he hadn’t expected to ever feel again.
At that point, time stood completely still. Travis stared down at Gage as he slid in deep, retreated. Over and over, again and again. He took his time, getting lost in the man because it was his only safe place. Right here, right now, with Gage he could almost block out everything else.
“Harder,” Gage snapped, dragging Travis from his erotic trance.
In all the time he’d been with Gage, never had he heard such a dark command. It shocked him briefly, but Travis damn sure wouldn’t hold back if that was what his husband needed. Shifting so he was over Gage, his upper body balanced on his arms, he slammed his hips down, impaling him.
“Is that what you want?” he growled, the emotional turmoil roiling, writhing, turning what had been slow and sweet into an inferno of need and lust.
“Yes,” Gage hissed, his head falling back. “More.”
Travis slammed into him again, enjoying Gage’s hard, eager grunts.
Again and again, he didn’t hold back, driving in rough and deep, delivering that erotic bite of pain that would allow Gage to escape everything else for a while. It was what Gage needed. Hell, it was what Travis needed more than anything.
“Faster… Fuck me.” Gage exhaled harshly. “God, just fuck me.”
Realizing Gage was still attempting to escape it all, including their connection, Travis stopped, pulling out of Gage’s body long enough for them to shift positions, Gage rolling onto his stomach. For whatever reason, this was a position that worked so much better for them, with Travis lying atop him, arms sliding under, fingers curling over Gage’s shoulders. They were touching from chest to knee while Travis rocked, fucking him from behind. And this way, Gage couldn’t escape. He would be overwhelmed by Travis, feel him everywhere.