I wondered if anyone cared.
Gisele might. Marielle too. But to a lot of the girls, I was merely the competition. The boss’s pet. They didn’t understand why he’d taken such a shine to me. I didn’t either.
All I knew was, once he’d set his sights on me, Zander DiMarco’s obsession with me began.
Matteo came back inside, taking the air with him.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. Luis needs to head back into the city.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll stay until he returns.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “You know, I came back for you last summer.”
“W-what?”
He nodded. “It drove me out of my mind that I didn’t get your number, so a few weeks after, I drove down to Providence and looked you up. Only to find you were gone.”
“You came for me?” Disbelief coated my voice. Just when I thought Matteo couldn’t do anything more to convince me he was a good guy, he went and said that.
“I felt something that night, Cait.” He prowled toward me, with slow, sure steps. In that moment, he reminded me of a predator stalking its prey. But I didn’t feel an ounce of fear, only a shiver of anticipation.
“Something I’d never felt before.” He laid his hand on the side of my neck, gazing down at me. “But you were his… weren’t you?”
The utter defeat in Matteo’s eyes gutted me. There was so much he didn’t understand, things he didn’t know, that I couldn’t ever tell him.
But there were some truths I could offer him.
“The lease was up on that apartment. I couldn’t afford to renew,” I said, grounded by his touch. “He said he knew of an empty apartment in his building.”
Matteo went rigid, but I kept going. “I didn’t have a choice.”
Looking back, part of me wondered if Zander was connected with the sudden rental increase on my apartment; if he’d orchestrated the whole thing to get me to move closer to him. It was his MO to act as savior. When really, he was the villain in an expensive suit.
“Did you and he—”
“Don’t,” I inhaled a ragged breath. “Don’t ask me that.”
“I’m just trying to understand… that night, you never said—”
“Because I wanted to pretend, Matteo,” I snapped. “I wanted to pretend I was just a girl spending a night with a gorgeous, charming guy. A good guy. I haven’t had much experience with those,” I confessed, averting my gaze. Matteo looked at me too intensely, wearing his emotions for all to see.
It was one of the things I found so attractive about him. He didn’t play games or try to hold the upper hand. He was honest and real, and he wasn’t scared to show or tell you how he felt. It was so refreshing to meet a guy like that.
But part of me also didn’t trust it.
Nobody was that perfect, and I couldn’t help but wonder what skeletons he had in his closet.
He slid his fingers under my jaw and tilted my face back up. “You think I’m charming?” A smile tipped the corner of his mouth.
“That’s what you’re choosing to hear out of all that?” My brows furrowed.
“Made you smile though.” He traced the seam of my lips with his thumb, and my tummy clenched. “Your past, whatever did or didn’t happen with DiMarco, it means nothing to me, Caitlin. All I care about is that you’re safe now.”
“You don’t even know me, Matteo.” If he did—if he knew the truth—he wouldn’t feel the same.
“I know enough.” His eyes darkened, gazing down at me with reverence. “I know what I felt the night I buried myself deep inside you and heard my name fall from your lips, Tink.”
He closed the space between us, ghosting his mouth over the corner of mine. A whimper spilled from my lips.
“We shouldn’t,” I said, not breaking away.
“Tell me one good reason why?” His fingers glided up my neck and threaded into my hair. The way he held me, with such tenderness and possession, made my heart expand.
He wouldn’t hurt me. I knew that without a doubt.
But I wasn’t worried about myself.
“Let me in, Tink.” He kissed me again, harder this time, sliding his tongue past my lips and tasting me. I was powerless to stop him, melting into his touch. The feel of his hands in my hair and his lips on mine.
In one smooth move, he picked me up and started carrying me down the hall.
“Matteo, what are you doing?” I breathed, twining my arms around his neck.
“What I should have done the second I laid eyes on you again.” Kiss. “Is that good with you?” Kiss.
“I…” My heart crashed so hard inside my chest I couldn’t think straight.
“It’s okay.” He nudged my nose with his. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just want to lie with you, Tink. Kiss you. Hold you in my arms.”
Gosh, this man. He knew exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make me acquiesce.
“I am kind of tired.” Soft laughter spilled from my lips, but my heart ached. For Shaun. For me.
For us.
Matteo was good. I didn’t doubt that. He was mafioso, yes, but he had a code of ethics. Morals. But if he knew the truth… if he knew what monsters haunted my dreams, he wouldn’t look at me with such reverence.
He paused on the threshold of my room, sweeping his thumb down my cheek and resting it beneath my bottom lip. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I thought it then… I think it now. If you want to stop… if you want space, or want me to go… just say the word and—”
“I want this,” I said, pressing my lips to his thumb. He moved it away, but I caught it in my mouth, sucking the tip.
“Fuck,” he rasped. “Keep that up, Tink, and all my good intentions will go out the window.”
I chuckled again, snuggling closer to him as he walked me inside the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Matteo lowered me onto the bed and gazed down at me, making my stomach clench with delicious anticipation. I couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at me with such hunger and desire. As if I was the center of their universe. The most precious thing to walk the Earth.
The feeling coursed through me, making me feel more confident than I had in a long time. “Come here.” I crooked my finger at him.
“Patience, Tink,” he said, slipping his hands to the hem of his sweater and yanking it off his body. My eyes went straight to the ink decorating his skin. The Eagle swooping over his shoulder and down his chest, the flowers curving around his biceps and trailing down his arm. The wicked skull sitting on his opposite shoulder. Matteo’s body was a work of art, and I was the sculptor who wanted to run my hands over every dip and curve to appreciate something so perfectly formed.
“What?” he asked, looming over me.
“You’re… beautiful.”
“Beautiful, huh?” A smile tugged at his mouth. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, Tink, but I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful.”
My cheeks burned. “Maybe we should stop talking now.” I scooched back to give him space to lie down, and he did, unfurling his big body beside me so we were lying face to face.