“It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”
“Do you regret staying with me?”
“Never,” I admitted.
I didn’t, but part of me wished things were different. That we’d met under different circumstances.
“You gave me two of the best nights of my life.” She whispered the words so quietly I barely heard them.
“I-I did?”
Caitlin nodded. “That night last summer and… right now. I want you to know that, Matteo.”
I wanted her to know that I could give her so much more—that I would give her forever if she would let me.
But what kind of person would that make me if I promised her forever when she’d promised me nothing in return.
Chapter 15
Caitlin
I woke up against a warm, hard body.
Matteo.
My lips curved at the memories of the night before. After he’d made me come apart, touch by touch, kiss by kiss, we’d spent hours talking. He’d shared stories from his childhood. I’d talked about the club. Mostly, I’d listened to him talk about his sister and cousins, about the mischief they used to get into.
Matteo had grown up in a big family, and I could tell from the way he talked about them, that family was everything to him.
Especially his younger sister Arabella.
It couldn’t have been further from the truth for me.
Maybe under different circumstances, I would have gotten to meet them all one day—to spend time with them, getting to know them.
“Hey,” Matteo murmured, his voice thick with sleep. His hand slid over my hip, dragging me closer into his body. “What time is it?”
“A little after eight,” I said, relishing the way it felt to be so close to him, even if it was only temporary.
“I could get used to this,” he said, kissing my shoulder. A shiver ran through me at the raw honesty in his words. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” I replied. “I’m good.”
I was more relaxed than I had been in weeks. He’d done that.
Matteo had done that with his dirty words, tender touches, and hot kisses. But it was his level of respect for me, and my body, that really got to me. The second I’d recoiled at his touch or flinched when he pressed too far or too hard, he had stopped and checked in with me. It was a revelation to have a guy care like that.
“I was worried you might feel differently this morning.” He brushed the hair off my neck and kissed me there.
I rolled over and peeked up at him. “I don’t… at all. Last night was… it was perfect. Thank you.” I smiled.
“Fuck, Tink, you are so damn beautiful.” He leaned in, dusting his mouth over mine.
“I need to brush my teeth,” I said, pressing my hands to his chest.
He chuckled. “You think I care about morning breath?”
“You might not, but I do.” I kissed his cheek before darting from the bed. “I’ll go turn on the coffee machine.”
“Stay. We don’t have to get up yet.” He silently pleaded with me, his eyes hooded with lust and things I didn’t want to acknowledge.
But the spell was already broken. I needed some space to think, to clear my head and remember all the reasons why I couldn’t allow myself to get swept away in this.
In him.
“I need a girl’s minute.” I didn’t look back as I slipped into the bathroom and closed the door.
At least I hadn’t slept with him again. Fooling around was one thing, but sex with Matteo… that would be my undoing. No, I needed to stay strong. I needed to keep some semblance of distance between us. Because if he started asking me for things I couldn’t give him, he would start asking me questions I didn’t have the answer for.
After taking care of business, I washed my hands and then tamed my curls into a loose ponytail over my shoulder. I felt torn. Part of me was so relieved Matteo was still here, that he had spent the night with me. But the other part knew it would only make things worse when the time came for me to leave.
Shaun was gone.
Zander had killed him… because of me. And I knew it was only the beginning of his rampage to find me. No one was safe around me. Not even Matteo and his family. Because men like Zander didn’t play by the rules, they smashed straight through them.
“Tink?” Matteo called, and I smiled to myself. He made everything so simple that it would have been easy to hand over my heart to him right now. But it would only complicate things.
“Cait—”
“Coming,” I yelled, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.
When I slipped back into the bedroom, he was sitting propped up against the headboard, one knee bent.
God, he looked good. Inches upon inches of golden skin stretched over muscle. He could have been something straight out of a sexy magazine shoot.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I smiled a little too enthusiastically. “Why wouldn’t it be?” I hesitated, not sure how to do this. It was the morning after. Didn’t guys usually make a run for it to avoid this awkward moment?
“Come here.” He motioned for me to go to him.
“I should probably—”
“Tink.” He dropped his legs over the edge of the bed and sat upright, reaching for me. “Come. Here.”
Heat flashed inside me, my stomach clenching. Why did it sound hot when he ordered me around?
I went willingly, like a moth to a flame.
Matteo curved his arm around my waist and pulled me between his legs, staring up at me. “Why do I feel like you’re already shutting me out?”
“I… I’m not,” I whispered. “It’s just… I’m not used to this.”
“This?” He frowned, and I nodded.
“The morning after.” Heat flooded my cheeks. “In my experience, guys don’t usually stick around.”
“Maybe you’ve been picking the wrong guys.” He smiled, and it was so playful, so cute, something inside me softened.
Where were you five years ago? I gazed down at him, running my hand through his messy bed hair. He made it look so damn good.
“How are you feeling really?”
“I’ll be okay.” The lie soured on my tongue. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.” Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away. If I let myself fall down that dark hole, I wasn’t sure I’d ever find a way out.
I didn’t kill Shaun—Zander did.
No matter how guilty I felt, I had to remember that.
“What will happen? With Zander?” I asked.
The muscle in Matteo’s jaw popped as he released a strained breath. “Honestly, I don’t know yet. My family is dealing with a lot right now.”
“Because Nicco’s father is sick?”
He nodded, pain lingering in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Without realizing, I scraped my fingers over his skull and a low growl rumbled in his chest. “God, I’m so sorry,” I went to pull away, but Matteo grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t,” he said in a husky voice.
The air crackled around us, thick with anticipation. He wanted to kiss me again. I could see it right there, glittering in his eyes.