“Matteo,” I breathed, my heart beating erratically in my chest.
What was happening?
I’d never felt so out of control before.
He pulled me onto his thigh and my arms went around his shoulder to steady myself.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.” A faint smile traced my lips.
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, nodding gently. I was under his spell, unable to break through from the all-consuming thoughts of him. Us. Together.
Matteo slid his hand along my clavicle and down to my chest, right where my heart lay. “I can feel your heart racing… so fast.” He marveled, closing the distance between us.
The first touch of his lips was like electricity zapping through me. Kissing last night, in the dark, was one thing. But this… this was something else.
His tongue slipped past my lips, gently lapping at my own. Desire swirled inside me, burning me up.
“Matteo,” I moaned into his mouth. “I—”
The shrill sound from his cell phone was like a bucket of ice water dousing the flames circling us. Matteo cursed under his breath, and I slipped off his lap and left the room.
I needed some space to think, and I couldn’t do that with Matteo breathing down my neck.
But when I went out into the living room, I startled. “Luis,” I gasped. “What are you—”
“Coffee?” he asked me with a smile.
“Sure, thanks.” I propped myself up on one of the stools. “When did you get back?”
“About an hour ago.”
Which means he knew Matteo spent the night with me.
“It isn’t what you think,” I rushed out, the strange urge to defend my behavior coursing through me.
“Caitlin.” He set his mug down and gave me a knowing smile. “I’m not here to judge. I’m here to keep you safe.”
“Morning.” Matteo appeared, shirtless and completely unaffected by Luis's presence. “Something smells good.”
“Grabbed a few freshly baked pastries from the nearest gas station. Luis motioned to the bag on the counter. “Help yourself. Coffee’s in the pot.”
“My kind of guy.” Matteo squeezed Luis's shoulder.
“You good?” He came over to me and curved his hand around the back of my neck, kissing my temple as I stood there, rooted to the spot. My eyes flicked to Luis, and he gave me a discreet smile.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“I… yeah,” I murmured, certain he would release me. But he didn’t, one-handedly making himself a mug of coffee while keeping his hand on my neck. It shouldn’t have thrilled me as much as it did. He was acting like I belonged to him… like we were together.
A fact we both knew could never come true. But it didn’t stop him from touching me intimately and it didn’t make me push him away.
“You want one?” Matteo asked me, nodding toward the coffee machine.
“Sure.”
He finally released me, and I sucked in a shaky breath, stepping back to put some more distance between us.
“How’s Nicco and Ari?” He asked Luis as he set about making my coffee.
“They’re okay. There’s been no change with Antonio though.”
Matteo went rigid, releasing a steady breath. “He’ll pull through. He has to.”
Without thinking, I reached for his hand, squeezing gently. The pain in his voice, it glittering in his eyes, was too stark to ignore.
His gaze collided with mine, and my heart hammered in my chest at the intensity in his expression. “Thank you,” he mouthed, his eyes shuttering.
When they opened again, his whole expression softened as if just seeing me standing there, by his side, instantly made everything better.
It was a heady feeling; one I wasn’t used to.
One I wasn’t sure I could ever give up.
“Have you ever been?” Matteo asked me as we worked some more on the puzzle. I thought he would leave once we had breakfast, but he didn’t.
And it mattered far more than it should.
This—us—it couldn’t go anywhere. It couldn’t ever be more than… this.
He had a life. A family and future. I didn’t care about who he was, about what his family did. It wasn’t like I’d grown up in a good, law-abiding family either.
No, I didn’t care about any of that. And deep down, I wanted nothing more than for him to make good on his word and take care of Zander. At least then I’d be free of his obsession. But I’d never truly be free.
Not in the way Matteo needed me to be.
“Cait?” He brushed my arm, smiling at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” I smiled back, hoping he didn’t notice the pain in my eyes.
“So… have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Ever been to New York?”
“Oh, I… I went a few times as a kid. I don’t really remember it.” The lie soured on my tongue. The truth was, I remembered every trip. Every single one. I remembered the arguments, my mom and her boyfriend fighting, the sound of his hand cracking against her face. The howl of her sobs echoing through the car.
I remembered it all.
Dropping my gaze to the puzzle, I inhaled a sharp breath.
You escaped.
You got out of there and you never have to look back.
“You were born in New York?”
I frowned. “How do you know…? Oh, your friends.”
“They meant no harm.”
“You’re all very close.”
“We are.” A look of fondness washed over him. “They’re my family. You don’t have—”
“Matteo,” I let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what? What are we doing, Cait?” His eyes searched mine for answers.
Answers I didn’t have.
“I’m so grateful to you and your friends, I am. But this… us…” I took a deep breath, my heart ready to burst, blood roaring in my ears. “Surely you know we can’t—”
“Can’t what?” His hand curved around my neck, holding me tenderly. Matteo dropped his head to mine, breathing me in. “It’s a sign, Cait. Tell me you know it’s a sign.”
“I…”
Oh God. Emotion balled in my throat, thick and suffocating. He wasn’t going to let this go—he wasn’t going to let me go. And I didn’t want him to. I wanted Matteo to fight for me. I wanted him to prove that there was good in the world. That I deserved more than the shitty hand I’d been dealt.
But that was fantasy.
And my demons were too big to outrun.
His lips brushed mine. Once. Twice. Until his tongue licked the seam of my lips, silently seeking permission. A soft sigh spilled out of me, and he took it as a yes, sliding his tongue deep into my mouth and tangling it with my own.
God, when he kissed me like this… I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world.
I felt safe and cherished… and loved.
“Matteo—”
“Call me Matt,” he breathed against my mouth. “That’s what my friends call me.”