“You don’t have to do that with me.”
I stared at my sister, blinking back tears. “I know that. I do.”
“So hit me with the truth.”
I sucked in a breath and shakily exhaled it. “He hurt me. He made me feel … like I had imagined it. He used the word harass. I spent the night crying in my bed like a sixteen-year-old because I was so scared I was doing to him what Austin did to me.”
“That is completely different.” I could hear the sharp edge of genuine anger in Robyn’s voice.
“I know that now. I’ve had four days of giving the bastard the cold shoulder to come to that conclusion myself. He said what he said so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore, and he didn’t care if he hurt me to do it.”
“I doubt he didn’t care,” Robyn said, surprising me.
“Really?”
“I’m angry at him for speaking that way to you, but I can’t imagine he’s happy with himself about it.”
“Where’s his apology, then? He’s not giving me the silent treatment anymore, but he didn’t apologize for what he said.” I shook my head, looking toward the water beyond the cliff. “I should quit, but every time I think about it, I cannot imagine leaving Eilidh and Lewis.”
“Or Thane.”
“No, he can go fuck himself, preferably with a glove made of splinters.”
Robyn threw her head back in laughter, and I couldn’t help but laugh too. Then she reached for my hand, squeezing it. “Do you know how brave you are?”
Instantly, my smile fell and I tried to pull away. She wouldn’t let me. “Don’t.”
“No, I will.” Robyn leaned toward me. “Do you think for one second that I would have told Lachlan I wanted him if he hadn’t made the first move?”
“Of course, you would. You’re the most courageous person I’ve ever known.”
She looked modestly uncomfortable with the praise and shrugged. “Maybe I’m okay with situations like kidnappings and break-ins and shootouts … but when it comes to my heart? Regan, it took me ten years to get up the courage to find Mac. And I never told a guy I loved them after Josh Horner broke my heart. I didn’t even try to let a guy in until Lachlan. And he wasn’t very nice to me at first, so I would most definitely have not made myself vulnerable to him. If he hadn’t mauled me”—she raised her eyebrow with a smirk—“in Gordon’s trailer that first time, and then again in his office and again—”
“Got it. Lachlan is a horndog. Moving on.”
She grinned cheekily. “My point is, he made the first move. But you … you put yourself out there with Thane, even after he’d treated you not very nicely and with full knowledge and awareness that the idea of you two together is a little controversial. You still did it. You still followed your feelings—”
“And my libido.”
“My little sister doesn’t have a libido, and putting yourself out there with him is really brave. I’m proud of you.”
Her words were like water on a thirsty seedling. “Thank you.”
“Now that we’ve established you’re brave … my sister is nobody’s punching bag—”
“I said those same words to him!” I exclaimed.
“Good. Now live by them. If you’re mad at him, be mad and stay mad at him until he mans up and apologizes for being a dick. But once he apologizes, you move on. Thane goes back to just being your boss, and you take care of those kids. Don’t let him put you off the ancestry visa.”
“I told you I’m thinking about it, and I won’t let him put me off. That’s not a decision I’m going to make based on a guy.”
“No. Just make it based on your sister who wants you here to help plan her wedding and see her get married and be there the day she finds out she’s pregnant and the day you become an aunt and—”
“I get it.” My eyes filled with a different emotion. “I don’t want to miss those things either. I’m just … what kind of life could I have here? It’s not the remoteness that bothers me, or the small town. It’s just … I still want to meet someone, eventually. Someone who wants me in return.” I looked down at my sneakers. “If he’s out there.”
“He’s out there, Regan. You just need to stop renting space in your head to Thane Adair. You’ll see things clearer once you do, and I promise, I was kidding before. No more pressure from me. Stay or don’t stay, I just want you to be happy.”
With my sister’s advice fresh in my mind, I braced myself for Thane’s return from work that night. Determined not to stop with my icy response to him until he apologized, I kind of got myself worked up about it. Even more so when I picked up the kids from school. As I started the engine, Lewis announced, “Eilidh and I know what we want to do for Dad’s birthday.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, staring at them in the rearview mirror. “What’s that?”
“Dad talks to us about the bird show at the castle that looks like something out of Disney. Dad said he would take us next summer, but we thought we could go at the weekend.”
Castle like something out of Disney? I didn’t know what castle he was talking about. “I’ll mention it to your dad.”
“You have to come!” Eilidh said, kicking her legs with the words.
Inwardly, I grimaced. There was no way in hell I was spending a day out with Thane. Trying not to wince at the lie, I replied, “I can’t, honey. I have plans this weekend.”
“What plans?” She crossed her arms over her chest and jutted her chin sternly at me.
“Noneuhyurbusiness plans,” I singsonged.
She giggled but a quick glance at Lewis revealed he wasn’t laughing. He stared out the passenger window, his brow furrowed in thought.
He was quiet for the rest of the drive and while I settled them at the dining table with their homework and a snack. After I started dinner, I sat down with them to see if they needed help with anything. Not that they ever needed much help. Thane’s children were smart as whips and quick too.
While the Scottish system had adopted a play-based strategy for primary one and two classes, Eilidh still got some reading, spelling, and math work sent home a couple times a week. Not a lot. We usually blew through it in twenty minutes. Lewis, now out of the play-based learning years, had transitioned with no issues. As Eilidh kept herself busy drawing on a tablet, I watched over Lewis as he did his multiplication homework.
“Very good,” I murmured as I watched him do it with ease. He seemed to whiz through his math work while he took a little more time over spelling and language questions. To be fair, spelling and language posed a slight learning curve for me, too, considering the differences between British and American English.
“What are you doing this weekend?” Lewis surprised me by asking.
He looked up from his booklet to stare at me like a little interrogator.
I swallowed hard, not wanting to lie to his face. “The truth is, I’m not going to crash your weekend with your dad. This weekend is all about his upcoming birthday and spending time with the two people he loves most. It’s not fair to your dad to keep involving me in family days.”