My grandmother’s words repeated in my mind the entire way home. How was I supposed to face Darcie when this storm of emotions was still brewing inside me? The raw feelings from earlier hadn’t waned in the least. And Nan hadn’t told me anything I didn’t already know, deep inside. But would I choose to live my life ignoring these feelings for the sake of my marriage?
I entered the house feeling completely unsettled.
Before I could head upstairs to face the fire, I noticed a text had come through from Felicity. Looking at its length, my gut immediately told me it was a Dear John letter.
I couldn’t consume it fast enough as my heart raced.
Felicity: I have to go home, Leo. I’m sorry to have to leave like this, but I can’t endure yet another goodbye with you. Spending time with you today was truly magical. Getting to see Ludicrous again, getting to ride those beautiful horses with you, getting to look into your eyes and see into your soul for the last time. As painful as it’s been, these past couple of days have also been a gift, because there was a time when I thought I would never see you again. Even after everything, I don’t regret coming here. I’ve never regretted a single moment with you, not even the most painful ones. But my feelings for you are suffocating me. To care so deeply for someone and not be able to freely love them is torture. You’re a married man. The longer I stay, the worse this will end.
As you read this, I am already headed to the airport. I was able to get on a flight that leaves at midnight. Please don’t be mad at Sig for letting me out of his sight. He understands what it feels like to want someone and not be able to have them. Who knows what my life would be like right now if I had just taken a chance five years ago. Please know that I will always love you.
I fell into a panic. She’s gone.
Chasing after someone to get her to stay in a foreign country while you’re wearing a wedding ring isn’t exactly fair. But knowing that didn’t stop my urge to do it. But why? Why force her to stay when I couldn’t offer her anything as things currently were?
Before I could go upstairs, Darcie came up behind me.
“The text you’re reading is from her, I assume.”
I turned around and gulped. “Yes.”
“She told me she was leaving earlier than planned.”
My heart palpitations got worse. “You…spoke to her?”
“I went over to the inn tonight while you were visiting your grandmother.”
Fuck. “You did?”
“Yes. I had a very difficult time while you were out with her today, and I felt like she and I needed to have a talk.”
Trying to remain calm, I asked, “What did you talk about?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not the reason she’s leaving. She’d already decided that by the time I arrived. She told me so.”
“Yeah. She got a flight out tonight. She’s already at the airport.”
Darcie nodded. “I just needed to see her, Leo. I wanted to look into her eyes and see what you see, to better understand this thing I’m up against. I also wanted her to know that I don’t really blame her for her mistake. But most of all, I wanted her to know how committed I am to you and to this marriage, how much I’ve grown to love you, even though our courtship took a different path than most. Maybe in the beginning we forced things a bit. But over the past year, in particular, I’ve realized everything is the way it was meant to be.” Tears filled her eyes. “I love you, Leo. I truly do. And nothing has made me prouder in this life than to be your wife. I’m terribly scared to lose you, and you need to know that.”
My heart broke to see her cry, to see her so vulnerable when she’d been feigning strength. Guilt and torment twisted inside me as I brought her into an embrace. Darcie had been nothing but an amazing wife. She didn’t deserve this situation I’d put her in. But I had no words that would comfort her tonight. I couldn’t lie and say Felicity’s leaving hadn’t shaken me to my core. So, I didn’t say anything. I just continued to hold her.
That night we slept turned away from each other in bed as my mind raced.
The following day, I headed over to Sigmund’s. He’d texted me to make sure I wasn’t upset at him for driving Felicity to the airport. I’d told him not to worry, that I understood why he’d aided and abetted her departure from England.
“You look like shite. We’re twinsies now,” he said as he opened the door.
“Except I’ve shaved my face in the past few months. You haven’t,” I snapped.
“Are you here to ream me out? I don’t trust for one second that you’re not angry about me taking Ginger to the airport.”
“I’m not angry, Sigmund. I just hate that this entire thing happened at all.” I reached into my pocket and took out a piece of taffy.
He watched me unwrap it. “Not the taffy again. Now I know things are bad.”
I chuckled. “I happened to find someone selling it in town this morning. Isn’t that weird? I hadn’t had it in years. Couldn’t pass it up.” I popped it into my mouth and chewed.
“The taffy gods were watching everything go down, apparently.” My cousin walked to the fridge, took a beer out, and handed me one.
I swallowed the last of the candy, took a long sip of the beer, and exhaled. “I don’t want to hurt Darcie. But I’ve hurt her already, haven’t I? I’ve hurt them both.”
“Yeah. That’s how life works sometimes. Shite happens. Terrible things happen,” he finished on a whisper.
“I know this is nothing compared to what you’ve been through, mate.”
He pulled up a chair and stared at the ceiling. “Do you know what I would give for just one more day with her? One more hour?”
I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder. “I do.”
“The reason I helped Felicity leave is because I could feel her suffering,” he said. “I know what it feels like to need someone so desperately but be unable to have them. Granted, it’s two different situations—apples and oranges, in a sense. But I can imagine now what it would be like in her position.”
My chest felt tight. “Was she okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, she wasn’t in tears at the airport or anything. She’s strong. She’s just trying to protect herself from any further harm.”
I nodded. “Thank you for being there for her when I couldn’t.”
“I figured I owed her for all those times I was a complete dick.”
I chuckled. “Well, that’s probably true.”
Sigmund stood and walked over to take something out of his jacket pocket.
“She gave me this to give you.” He held out my grandfather’s ring on the gold chain.
It killed me that she’d felt the need to return it after all this time. It signified the final ending to our story. The diamond sparkled as I took it from him. “Did she say why she gave this back?”
“No. But I think it’s pretty obvious, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” I looked down at the shimmering metal.
It had been a long time since I’d had this in my possession. But I’d never forgotten the day my grandfather gave it to me when I was sixteen, encouraging me to use it as a pillar of strength when I needed it. In that sense, it was ironic to be getting it back now when I probably needed it most. Maybe Felicity knew that. Or maybe it was simply closure for her, the final nail in our coffin.