But as I watched and waited, no change came over my mother. Sadness shown in her eyes. She didn’t mask her pain from Ian. I couldn’t process what that meant.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Ian began. “The only table the restaurant has available is in ten minutes. I’ll go back and cancel the reservation. We’ll find somewhere else for a later time.”
No anger.
No irritation at possibly canceling a reservation he’d walked two blocks to secure.
Something like that would’ve sent my father into a rage.
“No. I’ll go get the girls,” I told him but didn’t take my eyes off my mom.
“It’s fine, Ian. We were just finishing up.” My mom’s gaze came back to me and smiled. “One day, my beautiful son, you’ll believe me. And if you’d open your eyes to what is right in front of you it’d happen sooner than you think.”
Fuck me, she wasn’t wrong. I knew I was in love with Lauren. But I also knew it was wrong.
I wasn’t safe to love anyone.
16
Jackie had found the perfect house.
Close to the beach, restaurants, shops, the rooms were beautiful, the house was spacious, the pool was awesome, but the hot tub was the best. And that was where I was currently sitting with a full belly and a glass of wine Dee had poured for me. I was also alone. Jill and Jackie had cornered Logan and carted him off into the room the twins were sharing. I was supposed to be running interference but I was exhausted after dinner and I figured Logan could handle his baby sisters, and if he got his boxers in a twist I’d untwist them later.
It wasn’t that dinner was horrible; it wasn’t. Apparently, during their last trip to visit Logan, that trip Lucy and her wife had joined them, they’d discovered the restaurant we’d gone to. Dee had declared it her favorite. Upon finding this out, Ian being the kind of man who wanted Dee to have anything she wanted, demanded we go there for dinner. It had been the only time since we’d arrived in Tybee that Ian had voiced an opinion. The food was excellent, the ambiance was beautiful, and since I’d relaxed, I enjoyed the company.
Logan was the only one uncomfortable. He wasn’t rude or brash or behaving like a dick, he was simply quiet. Almost reflective. Which made Dee watchful. Which made Ian watch Dee. Which made Jill talkative. Jackie and I were the only two at the table who were attempting normalcy.
The good news was I no longer wanted to kill Logan for dragging me on an overnight trip with his family. Dee was sweet and funny. Ian was a nice guy. And Jill and Jackie were hilarious. They reminded me so much of Hadley and Addy. I wished they lived closer because I’d so be friends with them.
Watching them also reminded me I didn’t have what they had. My parents were not bad people, they called me occasionally, I called them, we exchanged emails but we were not close. We didn’t let loose and laugh with each other. Up until I started working at Triple Canopy I hadn’t realized how disconnected we were.
One of the three sets of French doors that faced the flagstone patio opened and Ian came out with a beer in hand and a friendly smile.
“Would you mind company?”
“Of course not.”
He didn’t get into the hot tub, instead, he pulled a chair closer and sat next to it. Night had fallen but the backyard was lit like a tropical oasis. The blue lights in the pool illuminated the water perfectly, the artfully placed solar lights in the flower beds were dim but still highlighted the landscape, and both ceiling fans under the patio overhang were on, casting a warm glow.
It was so beautiful it made me wish for a house of my own. One I could decorate and landscape without having to ask my landlord for permission. Not to mention, it’d be a waste of money if I landscaped my rental.
Why hadn’t I done that yet?
“Have you been here before?” Ian asked.
“To Tybee?” Ian nodded and I answered, “I’ve lived in Georgia for years and this is my second time out here.”
“It’s funny how we get so busy with our daily lives we forget to explore the world around us.”
Wasn’t that the truth?
“When we moved to Michigan, Nicole and I had all these ideas for day trips and vacations. Harbor Beach Lighthouse, boating on Lake Huron, visiting Niagara Falls. In the ten years we lived there we made it to the falls once. Take this advice from an old man with a mountain of regret—don’t forget to have fun while you can.”
That sounded like good advice.
“Why’d you move to Michigan?”
Ian smiled, and for the first time since I’d met him, it was a real, happy smile. Not that he’d been disingenuous or fake throughout the day, he’d just been a little guarded, and with Logan’s mood being on high alert, no one could blame the poor man for being watchful.
This was also the first time I’d heard Ian say his wife’s name or bring up anything personal.
“When I met Nicole I was living in Chicago. Niki had gone to design school there, fell in love with the city, and stayed. After she got cancer I think we both realized how important it was to have family around. My parents had me late in life and they’d passed, so we moved closer to her family. They lived in Flint but Niki and I didn’t want to be in the city anymore but we wanted to be within an hour of her family so we looked at a map. She saw the town Bad Axe, and said with a name that cool good things were bound to happen there. And she was right; good things happened there. Now it’s your turn. Are you from Georgia?”
“Nope. I grew up in Arizona, outside of Sedona. My parents still live there and they will until the end of time. My mom’s a jewelry maker and sells her pieces to the local shops. My dad owns a tour company and stays busy scouting new locations.”
“Why’d you move?”
Why did I move? I left Arizona so long ago I’d almost forgotten why.
“I guess I wanted an adventure. I love my parents, they’re good people. Sedona was a beautiful place to grow up but I wanted to see something else, I guess. A friend lived in Savannah and I came out to visit, loved it here, and decided to stay. I was thinking about moving back to Arizona when I was offered a job at Triple Canopy. I was a waitress then and working at TC meant better pay and steady hours. I thought what the hell, I’ll give it a try. I like my job, but I love the people I work with. I found a second family working there.”
“And Logan works there,” Ian noted.
I took a sip of my wine to buy myself time. Ian and I were having a pleasant conversation and bringing Logan into it felt like a betrayal of sorts.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Lauren.”
“You didn’t,” I semi-lied. “Yes, Logan works there. He joined the team when he left the Navy.”
“DeeDee worries about him. I think she was hoping after he left the Navy he’d decide to become an accountant,” Ian huffed out a laugh. “One look at Logan and it’s clear as day he is not a man who’d be happy crunching numbers.”
“No, he is not. It’s hard enough to get him to fill out an expense report on time. Listen, Ian—”
“You don’t need to say it, Lauren,” Ian interrupted. “Again, DeeDee’s worried. I am not. I know the history. I know what happened. I would be concerned if Logan didn’t have his reservations about me being in his mother’s life. He’s the head of the family and has been since he was a teenager. I know it will be a long time before he warms up to me or the idea that DeeDee and I are together. I don’t judge Logan for not wanting me around. He loves his mom and sisters. It will take time, and a good amount of it for him to understand I do, too. But I will not hide who I am or how I feel about DeeDee, Jill, Jackie, and Lucy. I adore all of them. That’s something that Logan and I have in common. Something we can build from when he’s ready.”