The change was obvious, his family welcomed it, but it confused the crap out of me.
Not only had Logan’s attitude softened toward Ian but something had certainly changed between us. He’d been openly affectionate with me, way more than he’d been in the last week even when we were in private. He held my hand, he kissed my temple, he’d put his arm around me, or his hand on my leg. Bottom line was, if I was close he was touching me.
This I could tell pleased his family. It seemed to make Ian happy as well.
Now I was more confused than ever. Whatever was going on between me and Logan was based on a big, fat, honking lie. Not that I meant to deceive Logan, but looking back I’d been in love with him for a long time. I loved him before I’d dated Guy, I loved him while I’d been dating Guy, and I continued to love him after I told Logan that I agreed with his life motto that love was for fools or idiots and whomever else was dumb enough to fall into the trap.
I’m a fool and an idiot.
I was in love with a man who’d straight-out told me he’d never love me.
But then he said he was never going to let me go. And he said he was never going to let me leave him, but that was said in the heat of the moment. Right before his orgasm had taken over at a time when endorphins were coursing through his body and he was feeling good.
See? Confusing as fuck.
My mind was racing a mile a minute vacillating from elation to doubt. And it had been doing that for the last twenty-four hours. After brunch, we’d left Tybee. Everyone was exhausted and retreated to their respective accommodations—Ian and Dee back to a hotel, Jill and Jackie at Logan’s, and Logan at my house. No one batted an eye when he told his sisters he’d be staying with me. I argued that Logan should go home and spend time with his sisters. Jill said it would be a waste because she and Jackie were going to crash as soon as they got to his place. Then I’d tried to get him to go with his mom, which was met with Dee’s rebuff explaining that Ian had treated her to a spa day and she’d be getting a massage and facial.
I fell asleep on the drive home. Two days of eating good food until I was stuffed, walking around in the sun, swimming until after two in the morning, had caught up with me. Once we were home, Logan propped me in front of the TV, made grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner—which for the record were the bomb. He’d sprinkled parmesan cheese into the butter and patted it down into the bread before he’d grilled them and he used three slices of cheese—cheddar, pepper jack, and provolone. I was concerned with the smorgasbord of cheeses but the end result was divine. Later Logan carried me to my bed because I’d once again fallen asleep. And he cuddled me close.
That was three nights of no sex but cuddling.
Mixed signals and confusion.
“We’re gonna be late!” I yelled from the kitchen. “What are you doing in there?”
“Sorry, I had to shave,” Logan explained as he walked into the living room fresh-faced.
That was too bad. He hadn’t shaved while we’d been in Tybee and the scruff looked hot. Not to mention, it felt awesome between my legs.
Logan’s burst of laughter made me jump.
“What’s funny?”
“Babe, your face.”
“My face is funny?”
“Yep.”
I felt my eyes get squinty.
“Wanna explain why my face looks funny?”
“I’m not sure if you’re pissed or disgusted but the nose scrunch is cute. So is the way your forehead wrinkles when you’re thinking. But it was the frown that got me. I think I can take from your reaction you liked the beard.”
As Logan spoke he’d made his way into the kitchen so when he stopped speaking he was standing right in front of me.
“I’m not disgusted. But I’m gonna be pissed if we’re late to work.”
“Ren?”
“Yeah?”
“Babe, you want me to grow the beard back?”
I shrugged even though I kinda did. “It’s your face.”
“Yeah, but you’re the one who has to look at it.”
He had a point. But admitting I liked the beard and wanted him to grow it back felt like something a girlfriend might have a say in and I definitely wasn’t his girlfriend.
However, as previously mentioned, Logan was stubborn and if I wanted to get to work on time, I was the one who had to give.
“Fine. Yes, I liked the beard.”
A soft, whisker-free cheek rubbed against mine and I closed my eyes. Logan smelled like my shaving cream. That felt…weird…intimate…the same way him using my toothpaste did. It made no sense; it was shaving cream for crying out loud, but it was mine, it was the girly kind, and Logan using it meant he’d shaved in my bathroom after spending the night.
“Was that so hard to answer?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Is it the way it looks or the way it feels that you like best?”
Just once, I wished I could pull one over on Logan. Just one damn time I wished he wasn’t so freakishly observant that he could read my facial expression and my mind.
“Both.”
“I think you like the way it feels better. You damn near suffocated me when I got my mouth on your pussy.”
“Is that a complaint?” I snapped.
“Fuck, no. You wild and wet, grinding your pussy on my face, begging me to tongue-fuck you is my new favorite way to wake up.”
I suppressed a groan and covered up how affected I was by barking orders, “We need to leave. Now. Or we’re gonna be late.”
“Best part of my morning is watching you take my cock. Hearing you whimper, feeling you wrapped around me, seeing you come apart and beg for more. Second best part is watching you get dressed. Knowing what’s under your clothes, knowing that I watched you put it on, and later it will be me who takes it off. Third best part is listening to you bitch we’re gonna be late when you know damn good and well we have plenty of time.”
Logan had a gift for being sexy and annoying at the same time. He was the only man I knew who could turn me on and irritate me at the same time.
“Well, I’m glad you enjoy hearing me bitch. Because today, we’re really gonna be late.”
I tried to step back but was waylaid when Logan’s arm went around me and he pulled me close.
“Never had that, Ren. Never had anything to look forward to. Never went to bed excited to wake up the next morning. Never left work eager to get home. Never woke up happy. Thank you, baby, for giving me something good to wake up to.”
Holy crap.
I melted into him and my confusion grew. I had to come clean. I had to tell him he couldn’t say stuff to me like that. I was in too deep. I was already drowning and when he said sweet things, meaningful things, loving things, it made it hard for me to breathe.
“Anything but country,” Logan griped as he drove.
“Passenger controls the station,” I told him.
“My car, my music,” he returned.
“You wouldn’t be subjected to my music if you would’ve let me drive myself.”
“No use you driving when you’re going with me later to the airport.”
Right. The airport. I was going with Logan to see his family off. I was unsure why I was doing this, seeing as they were all coming to Triple Canopy before they left. Ian because Logan had asked him to speak to Dylan about some security software. To say I was shocked when Logan told me he’d invited Ian to TC would be the understatement of the year. Dee, Jill, and Jackie were tagging along so they could see where Logan worked. That shocked me, too, that they’d never been to TC even though they’d visited Logan in Georgia before.