Julian was grabbing a beer from the fridge, handing one to Christian who was sitting at the kitchen island.
He nodded, silently thanking him.
See … progress.
“She’s out with her girlfriends for the day.”
Julian nonchalantly asked, “How are you and Kinley?”
“We’re good.”
“You guys have been together what? Twenty years now?”
“Coming up on it, but as you probably remember the first couple of years we were on and off.”
Julian chuckled. “I was a bad influence.”
“You sure as shit were. Who would have thought you were fucking my little sister the entire time?”
“Christian!” I exclaimed. “We didn’t even kiss until I was sixteen, and we didn’t have sex until I was eighteen, so no … we were not hooking up the entire time. Your best friend was still screwing any girl in a skirt.”
“Hey!” Julian scoffed out. “She didn’t have to be wearing a skirt.”
I chuckled, but it was the truth.
Putting his hands up in the air, my brother mischievously smiled. “Relax, I was kidding.” His eyes shifted to Julian. “You actually waited until she was eighteen?”
“First girl I ever waited for anything.” He winked at me. “She was worth it, though.”
“Alright, alright,” Christian chimed in. “Let’s lock that shit up.”
Julian smiled. “Any kids in your future? Capri needs a cousin, don’t you think?”
The expression on Christian’s face quickly turned somber, and before either of us could call him out on it, Capri walked into the kitchen. The rest of the night, we all hung out as if it were old times.
Now don’t get me wrong, they weren’t friends by any means, but at least they were talking and on friendlier terms with one another.
Christian said he was doing it for Capri and me, but I knew better. He was full of shit. He missed his best friend, and the more he was around him, the further his guard came down. It helped that Julian was determined to have Christian back in his life the way he used to be.
Julian didn’t lose.
Ever.
I shook off the constant thoughts, making my way into the garage to tell Julian and Capri dinner was almost ready.
I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Capri ask, “Daddy, what’s going on with you and Momma?”
My heart dropped to the floor as did my jaw. I’d been waiting for her to start questioning things between us. I just never imagined she’d ask him over me. My heart began pounding against my chest, and I placed my hand on top of it, willing it to slow down for a second. I hid behind a wall, able to hear but not see them. They couldn’t see me either which only aided my current situation.
“Sweetheart, that’s a difficult question to answer.”
“Why? Don’t you still love her?”
“I’ll always love her, baby.”
“Then why don’t you tell her?”
“I have. Many times.”
“Then I don’t understand? I know Momma loves you too. She looks at you like Ariel looks at Eric from The Little Mermaid. Besides, she’s never had a boyfriend or even been on a date, so I think that means something because Momma is super romantic. But since we’ve been here, she’s smiled and laughed more than I’ve ever seen. You make her happy, like really, really happy, so I don’t understand. Can you explain it to me?”
He sighed. “You’re too smart for your own good.”
She giggled. “I’m a genius like you.”
Julian didn’t say anything for what felt like forever, and when he finally did, he admitted, “Capri, I’ve messed up so many times when it comes to your momma.”
“What do you mean? Like from before you left her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
He inhaled another deep breath. “I let everyone influence what I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with Christian or my relationship with your grandparents.”
“Oh … so you broke Momma’s heart instead?”
“I did, baby. I’m not proud of it, but I broke your momma’s heart so many times I’ve lost count.”
“Then just say you’re sorry. When I’m a bad girl, I tell momma I’m sorry, and she always forgives me.”
He teased, “When are you ever a bad girl, Capri?”
Not backing down, she added, “Daddy, just tell how sorry you are. I know she will forgive you if you do. Momma is a super forgiving person.”
He laughed. “Sweetheart, sometimes people can forgive, but they don’t ever forget. I’ve hurt your mother deeply, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take for her to forget about the damage I’ve caused.”
“But I don’t want to leave. I want to live here forever with you. Can I stay, Daddy?”
Hearing Capri say those words to him was like taking a fucking bullet to my heart.
Did she want to stay with him over me? Would I lose our daughter to him if we left?
I shuddered, causing an eerie feeling to course down my spine.
“Capri, you’ll have both of us. I promise. You don’t need to worry about any of that.”
“Then we’re living here forever?”
“Baby girl, I pray that you are.”
“Daddy, this is so confusing.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. If I could go back and change things I would, but all I can do is keep trying to make things right with your mom. I don’t want to lose her again.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
I rubbed my face, feeling the weight of her statement.
How can I do this to our daughter? How can I rip us apart when we only just found each other again?
The truth was I wanted to stay for Capri.
My parents.
Christian.
Me.
The sound of his footsteps crept close to where I was hiding, and I swear I stopped breathing until I realized he’d moved closer to Capri, probably crouching to her eye level.
The tone of his voice was laced with sincerity. “You won’t lose me, sweetheart. No matter what happens with your momma and me, I’ll always be your daddy, you’ll always be my baby girl, and nothing can ever come between that. It’s me and you forever, baby.”
She sniffled, “You promise, Daddy?”
He didn’t hesitate in replying, “Cross my heart.”
“Okay. Do you want me to talk to her? Maybe I can tell her you’re super sad and how much you want us to stay. I can help, I know I can. Momma listens to me.”
Wiping away a tear that escaped my eye, I waited on bated breath for his response.
Disappointed when he said, “You need to let the grown-ups handle their business, Capri.”
“But I want to help you. I don’t want to leave. I want to live here forever with you.”
“I’d love that more than anything.”
“Then make her stay, Daddy. Please…”
Several tears slid down the sides of my face, and I never wanted the ground to swallow me whole more than I did in that second. I wasn’t only hurting Julian, I was also hurting our daughter, and that pained me deeply.
I couldn’t listen anymore. Hurrying back inside, I busied myself with finishing up dinner and tried to keep my emotions in check in case either of them walked in. I didn’t want Capri to see me upset, or for them to know I was eavesdropping on their private conversation.