SHELDON: Isn’t satisfying my curiosity an essential communication?
TRACY: Hell no.
DAGON AND ELIANA: [laugh]
ELIANA: [waves] Hi, Tracy.
TRACY: Hi, Eliana. [looks at Dagon and stares] Oh wow. Aliens are hot. I can totally see why you fell for one.
SHELDON: [grumbles] I’m sitting right here, you know.
ELIANA: [smiles up at Dagon] Sheldon and Tracy are a couple.
DAGON: [frowns] A couple of what?
TRACY: [laughs] That’s the operative question when it comes to Sheldon.
SHELDON: Oh, ha ha ha.
TRACY: Did Sheldon contact you, Eliana, or did you contact him?
ELIANA: He contacted us.
SHELDON: Tattletale.
ELIANA: [grins unrepentantly]
TRACY: [crosses her arms and frowns at Sheldon] You know Seth is going to kick your ass if he catches you in here again.
SHELDON: What’s the point of having this fancy alien tech if we aren’t going to use it?
TRACY: [shakes her head] What am I going to do with you?
SHELDON: [perks up] Actually, I can think of a number of things I’d like to do with you.
ELIANA: Do they include ass grabbing?
SHELDON: Hell yes.
ELIANA AND DAGON: [laugh]
TRACY: Let me get this guy out of here before Seth catches him.
ELIANA: Okay. See you later.
SHELDON AND TRACY: Bye.
[The two slip out of the study.]
DAGON: [smiles] I like your friends.
ELIANA: I like yours, too. [leans up to kiss him as he ends communication]
(Talking about myself in the third person is just too weird)
Although it went against my better judgment, I ultimately allowed Sheldon to twist my arm into letting him interview me. What can I say? The boy is persuasive. And yes, I’m calling him a boy just to aggravate him. He does the most outrageous stuff in my head sometimes and has been known to make me burst out laughing and draw odd looks in public. So… yeah. I’m getting a little payback.
I did have to lay a few ground rules for the interview. I admit I peeked over his shoulder while he was compiling his list of questions, and there was no way I was going to answer some of them. (If you’re curious to know why, take a look at the hot seat questions he asked some of the Immortal Guardians in the character interviews, particularly the ones that spawned blushes.) Sheldon seriously needs to learn the meaning of boundaries.
SHELDON: So, Dianne… May I call you Dianne?
DIANNE: Yes.
SHELDON: I’ll begin by asking you the one burning question that I think is on every reader’s mind.
DIANNE: Okay.
SHELDON: When will I get my own book?
DIANNE: Sheldon.
SHELDON: [smiles innocently] Yes?
DIANNE: What did we agree you would not do if I let you interview me?
SHELDON: Drop my pants?
DIANNE: [laughs] Yes. And I’d just like to mention that I shouldn’t have had to lay that out for you. But what else did we decide you wouldn’t do?
SHELDON: [sighs] Ask you what I want to know about my future?
DIANNE: Exactly.
SHELDON: [sits up straighter] Which is why I was asking for a friend.
DIANNE: Mm-hm. What friend?
SHELDON: Ummm. Roland.
DIANNE: Roland Warbrook?
SHELDON: Yes.
DIANNE: Seriously?
SHELDON: What? Just because he’s antisocial doesn’t mean he isn’t nosy.
DIANNE: Doesn’t it?
SHELDON: [frowns] Okay, it does, damn his antisocial ass.
DIANNE: [laughs]
SHELDON: Now, when I said Roland, I actually meant—
DIANNE: Give it up. I’m not telling you when you’re getting your own book.
SHELDON: The inference being that I will eventually get my own book…
DIANNE: I actually have been toying with the idea of launching a sort of sister series to the Immortal Guardians that would revolve around the mortals who work for the network. I’ve received a lot of requests for Chris Reordon’s story. Darnell’s, too. And Tanner’s. Ed’s. Alexei’s. Yours.
SHELDON: Mine more than anyone’s.
DIANNE: [smiles] It’s pretty much a tie between yours and Reordon’s.
SHELDON: But you’ll write mine first?
DIANNE: Next question, please.
SHELDON: [sighs] Will you at least tell me if Tracy and I will ever get together?
DIANNE: [arches a brow] According to several telepathic immortals—at least two of whom claim that whatever they saw in your head made them go blind—you and Tracy have been together for quite a while.
SHELDON: I know. But what I meant to ask is will we stay together? Will I eventually convince Tracy to marry me?
DIANNE: I can’t tell you what’s in Tracy’s mind.
SHELDON: Seriously?
DIANNE: Okay, I can. But I won’t. You know how closemouthed I can be about future books and the events therein. If you don’t believe me, ask the members of my Dianne Duvall Books Group on Facebook.
SHELDON: [disgruntled frown] I tried to, but they didn’t believe it was me. They thought I was a poser.
DIANNE: [snorts] Yeah, I saw that. Even I thought you were a poser when you joined the group. You shouldn’t have used Jason Momoa’s image as your profile picture.
SHELDON: Hey, some people think we look a lot alike.
DIANNE: Really? Who?
SHELDON: Ro—
DIANNE: And don’t say Roland again.
SHELDON: [swears] Extremely myopic people?
DIANNE: [unblinking stare]
SHELDON: Well, it’s not like I can publicly out myself as an Immortal Guardian’s Second in there. [looks thoughtful] Or can I? It is your group, after all.
DIANNE: Do not cause chaos in my Books Group, Sheldon. That’s my happy place on the net.
SHELDON: Okay. I won’t. What about in—
DIANNE: Or in my Street Team. That’s my happy place, too.
SHELDON: Damn it! [grumbles something beneath his breath] Fine. If I can’t ask you about myself, I’ll just move on to the boring questions.
DIANNE: I didn’t say you couldn’t ask me about you, just that you couldn’t ask me about your future.
SHELDON: Oh. Cool. So… when exactly did you decide I was the most awesome character in your Immortal Guardians series?
DIANNE: [smiles] There’s nothing wrong with your self-esteem, is there?
SHELDON: Nope.
DIANNE: Well, you’re actually the first character who grew on me outside the series.
SHELDON: [wrinkles his nose] That kinda makes me sound like a rash.
DIANNE: [grins] Well… some do find you irritating.
SHELDON: [coughs] Roland. [coughs]
DIANNE: [laughs] In all honesty, I didn’t intend to do much with your character when I introduced you.
SHELDON: Aaaaand there goes my self-esteem.
DIANNE: But then you started interviewing Immortal Guardians and their love interests on my blog tours.
SHELDON: [preens] I’ve seen a lot of readers say my interviews were their favorite parts of the tours.
DIANNE: I enjoyed them, too. And I enjoyed you.
SHELDON: [loud whisper] Don’t let Tracy hear you say that. She’ll think we had a thing.
DIANNE: No one’s going to think we had a thing, Sheldon.
SHELDON: Roland might.
DIANNE: Anyway, I found you to be such a fun character—
SHELDON: Self-esteem restored.