SHELDON: [stares] Seriously? You’re the only woman on the ship?
ELIANA: Yep.
SHELDON: [narrows his eyes] Those guys aren’t getting frisky with you, are they?
ELIANA: [grins] Only one. [waggles her eyebrows] And he can get frisky with me all he wants.
SHELDON: [laughs] Yeah. I heard a rumor that you’ve fallen in love.
ELIANA: I certainly have. Head over heels.
SHELDON: With an alien.
ELIANA: With an alien. [gives him a wry smile] Life can be strange as hell sometimes.
SHELDON: Very strange. [glances around, then leans in and whispers] What’s sex with an alien like?
ELIANA: [sighs and acquires a dreamy look] It’s… indescribable.
SHELDON: [intrigued] Really?
ELIANA: [grins] No. I can totally describe it. It’s freaking awesome. But I don’t kiss and tell, so you aren’t getting any details.
SHELDON: [chuckles] Fair enough. So what does this alien lover of yours look like?
ELIANA: Would you like to see him?
SHELDON: Hell yes.
[A large form appears behind her.]
SHELDON: Holy shit!
ELIANA: [laughs] I know, right?
SHELDON: That is so cool!
ELIANA: [glances up as Dagon moves to stand beside her and rests a hand on her shoulder] You see? I’m not the only one who says that.
DAGON: [chuckles] Apparently not.
[The door to David’s study opens and Seth—the imposing leader of the Immortal Guardians—enters.]
SETH: [stops short and scowls] Sheldon! Did I or did I not tell you that tech is only to be used for essential communication with members of the Aldebarian Alliance?
SHELDON: [sends Eliana a guilty glance] Ummmm…
SETH: Have you communicated with anyone else?
SHELDON: Nnnoooo—
SETH: [narrows his eyes]
SHELDON:—oooobody important. [clears his throat] Just some alien rebel dude.
ELIANA: [raises her eyebrows] Do you mean Janwar, the Akseli rebel?
SHELDON: I think so. Does he look sort of like a taller version of Jack Sparrow?
ELIANA: Yes! That’s exactly what I thought the first time I saw him! He’s even considered something of a pirate.
SHELDON: Then yeah, I might have chatted with him. [glances at Seth from the corner of his eye] A couple of times. [shifts guiltily] Or maybe more. Now that he’s met Lisa, he’s very curious about Earth women.
SETH: [points to the door] Out. Now.
SHELDON: [leaps up and races for the door] Nice talking to you, Eliana!
January 2021
The Segonian Blog Tour
ELIANA: Sheldon.
SHELDON: Yeah?
ELIANA: You’ve been sitting there, staring at Dagon and saying nothing for like five minutes.
SHELDON: [blinks] Oh. Right. Sorry. Hi. I’m Sheldon.
ELIANA: [laughs] You already said that when we opened comms with you.
SHELDON: [sheepish smile] Sorry. I’m just really jazzed about meeting another alien.
ELIANA: [grins and bumps her shoulder against Dagon’s arm] I was, too.
DAGON: [smiles at her and winks]
SHELDON: I was also trying to figure out what’s so… well… alien about you. I mean, aside from being born on a different planet and your coloring.
ELIANA: Plenty. I just advised him not to share that with you.
SHELDON: [crestfallen] What? Why?
ELIANA: Because I don’t want any dipwads on Earth finding out.
DAGON: [frowns] That word isn’t translating.
SHELDON: You have a translator?
DAGON: Yes.
SHELDON: Where?
DAGON: Embedded in my brain.
ELIANA: It’s the coolest thing. It lets him understand hundreds of different languages spoken throughout the galaxy.
SHELDON: That’s awesome. Do you have one, too?
ELIANA: [wrinkles her nose] No. My body rejected it.
DAGON: [nods] The peculiar symbiotic virus that makes her immortal apparently viewed it as shrapnel and expelled it.
ELIANA: Painfully.
SHELDON: That sucks.
ELIANA: Yes, it does. So I have to learn new languages the usual way. Fortunately, I have preternatural speed on my side, so I’m pretty much fluent in both Segonian and Alliance Common now. [smiles up at Dagon] A dipwad is like a milder word for a grunark.
DAGON: Ah.
SHELDON: Do you have any special abilities that would make me envious, Dagon?
DAGON: [smiles] Well, there is one that never ceases to delight Eliana.
SHELDON: [grimaces] You aren’t going to say sexual prowess, are you?
DAGON: [laughs] No, that wasn’t the ability I was thinking of.
ELIANA: [whispers] But he has that in abundance, too.
SHELDON: [grins] I’ll take your word for it. So what’s the ability, Dagon?
DAGON: I’m afraid I can’t reveal it.
SHELDON: [disappointed] Really? I won’t tell anyone.
ELIANA: I know. And I trust you, Sheldon. But if there’s even the slightest chance that someone from Earth might intercept this communication…
DAGON: Or someone not from Earth.
ELIANA: [nods] We just can’t risk it. Especially since I would love to drag Dagon and the guys to Earth for a visit sometime without having to worry about their safety. You know how ruthlessly Immortal Guardians have been hunted in the past by mercenaries who wanted to use our genes and the virus to create a race of supersoldiers.
SHELDON: True. And look what happened to Ami and Taelon when they came to Earth.
ELIANA: Exactly. Thanks for understanding.
SHELDON: Who are the guys?
ELIANA: Dagon’s crew, especially his closest friends.
SHELDON: On board the Ranasura?
ELIANA: Yes. They remind me a lot of my fellow Immortal Guardians back home. They are utterly fierce and totally kick ass in battle. But when they aren’t fighting, they love to laugh and tease.
DAGON: [smiles and wraps an arm around her] The same could be said about you.
SHELDON: So are you Segonian guys like Immortal Guardians, Dagon? Do you admire strong women?
DAGON: Absolutely. And Eliana is the strongest we’ve encountered. I believe she’s enraptured us all.
ELIANA: [leans up and kisses his cheek] Sweet talker.
SHELDON: [narrows his eyes] Are you sure the Ranasura isn’t the outer space version of a cruise liner?
ELIANA: [laughs] I’m sure. It’s a huge battleship that is chock-full of soldiers.
SHELDON: I’m only asking because I’ve been hearing rumors that pertain to ass grabbing.
ELIANA AND DAGON: [laugh]
SHELDON: Eliana, you haven’t been running around, grabbing innocent aliens’ asses, have you?
ELIANA: [jerks a thumb in Dagon’s direction] Just this guy’s.
DAGON: [grins] And she’s welcome to grab it anytime she wants.
[The door to the study opens a crack and Tracy peeks in.]
TRACY: [hisses] Sheldon!
SHELDON: [jumps guiltily] What?
TRACY: [quickly enters and closes the door] Are you doing what I think you’re doing?
SHELDON: I’m not looking at porn. I swear!
ELIANA: [laughs]
TRACY: [joins him and looks at the screen] You are!
SHELDON: No, I’m not. I’m just talking to Eliana and Dagon.
DAGON: [murmurs] What’s porn?
ELIANA: I’ll tell you later.
TRACY: That’s what I thought you were doing! Are you crazy? Seth made it very clear that this tech is only supposed to be used for essential communication with members of the Aldebarian Alliance.