LEAH: Well, now everything is just making me think of sex.
SETH: [stares down at Leah, his eyes bright with desire] Want to ditch the interview and go for a ride?
SHELDON: That’s it. I’m out. [rises] Thanks again for the interview. [heads for the door] Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
SETH: I don’t think there is anything you wouldn’t do.
SHELDON: [laughs and closes the door behind him]
SETH: [turns to Leah with a smile] Now. About that ride.
LEAH: [smiles and wraps her arms around him]
April 2020
The Lasaran Blog Tour
Although The Lasaran is part of the Aldebarian Alliance series, I opted to include the character interview I wrote for the blog tour because The Lasaran overlaps Death of Darkness and quite a few Immortal Guardians appear in it.
SHELDON: Hi, guys. Nice to meet you. I’m Sheldon.
LISA: Nice to meet you.
TAELON: Good to meet you.
SHELDON: Everyone around here is very curious about you, Taelon. You really caught us by surprise.
TAELON: I’m equally curious about all of you.
SHELDON: Would you mind answering a few questions? Not many are in the know as far as what you are, but those who are tend to be… How should I put this…?
MARCUS: [calls from a room down the hallway] Enormous gossips?
SHELDON: [laughs] Yeah. But we keep it in the family so to speak.
TAELON: [smiles] I’d be happy to answer your questions.
SHELDON: Good. So… you’re an alien.
TAELON: Yes. I’m from the planet Lasara.
SHELDON: Okay. I think the one burning question that’s currently on everyone’s mind is… what’s up with aliens and butt probing?
TAELON: [blinks] What?
SHELDON: I said, what’s up with aliens and—
TAELON: I heard you the first time. I just have no idea what you’re talking about.
SHELDON: You know… Aliens are always abducting humans and probing their butts.
TAELON: [looks askance at Lisa]
LISA: Hey. Don’t look at me. He said aliens do it.
TAELON: I admit this is the first time I’ve heard of such.
SHELDON: Really? Lasarans don’t do that?
TAELON: We do not. And on behalf of the Lasaran people, I can tell you with absolute certainty that none of us are interested in discovering what’s up your butt.
MARCUS: [calls from the room down the hallway] Good move! With Sheldon, you never know what you’ll find.
LISA: [laughs]
SHELDON: [scowls] Oh, ha freaking ha.
LISA: [turns to Taelon] By the way, I forgot to mention that Susan and Dana said you should not under any circumstances read Sheldon’s mind.
TAELON: [regards Sheldon with suspicion] Why?
SHELDON: It’s nothing. I’m not plotting against you or anything. They just like to tease me about some of the sex stuff they see up there.
TAELON: [eyes widen suddenly] Oh. [looks flabbergasted] Really? That sort of thing is legal on Earth? In public?
SHELDON: [face reddens as guffaws erupt down the hallway] She said not to read my mind. Not to read it.
TAELON: [swiftly nods] I will certainly refrain from doing so in the future.
LISA: [peers up at him curiously] Why? What did you see?
TAELON AND SHELDON: Nothing!
LISA: [lips twitch]
SHELDON: Anyway, as I was saying… [pauses] Wait. What was I saying?
LISA: You were talking about butts.
SHELDON: Right! Speaking of butts, Lisa…
TAELON: [expression darkens] Speak of Lisa’s butt and I’ll kick your ass.
SHELDON: Wow. You’ve really got Earth vernacular down, don’t you?
TAELON: [narrows his eyes]
SHELDON: [grins] I wasn’t going to mention her butt. I was going to ask her about someone else’s.
LISA: Taelon has an awesome butt.
TAELON: [grins and takes her hand] Like it, do you?
LISA: Hell yes.
SHELDON: Gross.
TAELON: [laughs]
SHELDON: So, Lisa, rumor has it you held one of the network’s special-ops soldiers at gunpoint and ordered him to strip down to his skivvies.
LISA: Actually, I held him at gunpoint and Taelon ordered him to strip.
SHELDON: Kinky.
TAELON: [looks at Lisa] I don’t think that word is translating correctly.
LISA: What is your translator telling you it means?
TAELON: Curly.
LISA: [grins] Yeah. That’s not it. Not the way he used it anyway.
SHELDON: You have a translator?
TAELON: Yes.
SHELDON: Where?
TAELON: Embedded in my brain.
SHELDON: Cool.
LISA: [smiles] It is. But we’ve discovered it’s a little like autocorrect and can really miss the boat sometimes. I’ll explain what kinky means to him later.
SHELDON: [winks] I bet you will.
LISA: [laughs]
SHELDON: So you really did disarm and hold a network special-ops soldier at gunpoint?
LISA: Yes.
SHELDON: That was pretty ballsy.
TAELON: [smiles] Yes, it was.
SHELDON: Strong women are so hot.
TAELON: I agree. [wraps an arm around her] And Lisa is the strongest woman I know.
LISA: [leans into his side] Flatterer.
SHELDON: Don’t go getting all lovey-dovey on me, guys. I still have more questions to ask. Taelon… [looks at Taelon and sighs] Ah hell. You’re thinking about her butt now, aren’t you?
LISA: He probably wouldn’t tell you if he was, but I have no problem admitting that I’m thinking about his.
TRACY (SHELDON’S GIRLFRIEND): [strolls down the hallway in formfitting yoga pants and a tank top] Hi, guys. Don’t mind me. I’m just passing through on my way to get a drink after my workout.
SHELDON: [stares after her] And now I’m thinking about her butt. [rises] Catch you later.
LISA: [watches him leave, then looks at Taelon]
TAELON: [offers her a boyish grin] I was thinking about your butt.
LISA: [laughs]
June 2020
Broken Dawn Blog Tour
SHELDON: Hi, guys. Thanks for agreeing to sit down with me for an interview.
NICK: We’re happy to do it.
KAYLA: [offers him a hesitant smile] I’m sorry. I’ve met a lot of new people here at David’s place and don’t remember your name.
SHELDON: No worries. I’m Sheldon.
KAYLA: Nice to meet you. Are you human, gifted one, or immortal?
SHELDON: Human. I’m Richart’s Second. [sighs] Man, I wish I were immortal.
MARCUS: [snorts as he walks past] The rest of us don’t. You wreak enough havoc as a mortal. I shudder to think what chaos you’d create as an immortal.
SHELDON: Oh, ha freaking ha. Ignore him. Where were we?
NICK: You were about to interview us.
SHELDON: Right.
MARCUS: [passes by again with a bag of chips] While the rest of us shudder at the thought of you as an immortal.
SHELDON: Aren’t you supposed to be hunting psychotic vampires or something?
MARCUS: Seth gave me the night off.
SHELDON: [mutters under his breath as Marcus disappears down a hallway]
KAYLA: [looks at Nick] What is this interview for anyway? I thought the whole Immortal Guardians, vampires, gifted ones thing was supposed to be hush-hush.
NICK: It is. The last thing we need is for the military or more mercenary groups to find out about us.