LEAH: For what?
SHELDON: For the network. Some of the humans who work at network headquarters have been a little… antsy after everything that’s happened in the past couple of years.
LEAH: Well, I can kind of understand that. Seth has been catching me up on some of what’s been going on. Considering the enemy the Immortal Guardians face now and how jacked up his track record is, network employees are probably worried the battle will land on their doorstep again.
SHELDON: That’s definitely a concern. But… [glances at Seth] that isn’t all that’s making them… nervous.
LEAH: What else worries them?
SETH: [rueful smile] We do.
LEAH: [eyebrows flying up] You and me?
SETH: [grins] No. Immortal Guardians.
LEAH: Oh. [frowns] Why? They work for you. Their whole job is to help you. They wouldn’t do that if they didn’t know you’re the good guys. I mean, without Immortal Guardians, psychotic vampires would roam unchecked, killing humans at will.
SETH: And the network employees understand that. That’s why they help us. It isn’t so much that they fear us. It’s that they find us a little… intimidating.
LEAH: [stares up at him] Why?
SHELDON: [laughs] You are the only person on the planet who is completely unfazed by the power this guy radiates.
LEAH: [sends Seth a flirty look] Because I like what happens when he unleashes some of that power.
SETH: [eyes acquire a faint golden glow] You do, do you?
LEAH: Hell yes.
SHELDON: [grimaces] Let’s keep the sexual innuendo to a minimum today, please.
SETH: [winks at Leah] We’ll try.
SHELDON: Leah, until the past two or three years, very few network employees actually encountered Immortal Guardians in person. Much of what they do is behind-the-scenes stuff. They spend their time in labs researching the virus that infects immortals and vampires or developing new weapons and technology that make their job easier, or in offices monitoring the internet for leaks and the like and aiding with cover-ups when all hell breaks loose.
SETH: And knowing they’re working for powerful immortals who possess special gifts and spend their nights hunting and slaying psychotic vampires is one thing. Bumping into them at work is another.
LEAH: Oh. [shrugs] Okay.
SHELDON: [smiles] You aren’t intimidated by them at all, are you?
LEAH: No.
SETH: She’s very good with different.
SHELDON: She is. Strong, too. Leah, rumor has it you can really kick ass.
SETH: [slides Leah an admiring glance] Yes, she can.
LEAH: [nods] I can.
SHELDON: Strong women are so hot. How did you acquire your butt-kicking skills?
LEAH: Years of martial arts classes my stepdad enrolled me in. We live in a dangerous world, so he wanted to make sure I could protect myself.
SHELDON: That’s awesome. And honestly, you’d have to be strong in order to handle Seth. I mean, he’s the most powerful man on Earth. He even intimidates other immortals.
LEAH: [waggles her eyebrows] Oh, I handle him very well.
SETH: Yes, you do.
SHELDON: Gross.
SETH AND LEAH: [laugh]
SHELDON: [stares at Seth]
SETH: What?
SHELDON: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile and laugh as much as you do with Leah.
LEAH: [leans into Seth’s side] You smile more when you’re with me?
SETH: I do a lot of things with you that I didn’t used to.
SHELDON: Hey. What’d I say about keeping the sexual innuendo to a minimum?
SETH: I made no promises.
LEAH: [laughs]
SHELDON: Well, the network employees are very curious about you both, so I asked them to offer up some hot seat questions they’d like me to ask you.
SETH AND LEAH: Okay.
SHELDON: [consults his tablet] All right. Here we go. Sneakers or flip-flops?
LEAH: Sneakers.
SETH: Boots when I’m working. Barefoot when I’m not.
LEAH: [smiles] I love his big bare feet.
SETH: [winks] I know.
SHELDON: Weird.
SETH AND LEAH: [laugh]
SHELDON: Coffee or tea?
SETH AND LEAH: Tea.
SHELDON: Dogs or cats?
SETH AND LEAH: Both.
SHELDON: Leah, I’m guessing this one is for you. Beard or clean-shaven?
LEAH: [reaches up and cups Seth’s jaw] Five-o’clock shadow.
SETH: [turns his head and kisses her palm] Because you like the way it feels when I nuzzle you and we kiss.
LEAH: Absolutely.
SHELDON: [shakes his head] Cold showers or hot showers?
SETH: Cold showers before Leah and I became lovers. Hot showers afterward.
LEAH: [grins] Very hot.
SHELDON: Great. Now his eyes are glowing. And I doubt this will help. Regular bath or bubble bath?
SETH: Regular bath. I don’t want bubbles to obscure my view of Leah’s—
LEAH: [claps a hand over his mouth] Don’t say it!
SHELDON: Seth, looks like this one is for you. Boxers, briefs, or commando?
LEAH: [stares] Network employees want to know what kind of underwear he prefers?
SHELDON: You’d be surprised how often that question comes up when I ask what they want to know about immortals.
SETH: Boxers.
LEAH: [whispers] I like it better when he goes commando.
SHELDON: Don’t encourage him. Taking risks or exercising caution? Leah, I’m going to guess you’re more into taking risks.
LEAH: Actually, I prefer to exercise caution.
SETH AND SHELDON: [eye her with disbelief]
LEAH: [frowns] What?
SETH: You’ve taken countless risks since meeting me.
LEAH: And you were worth every one of them.
SHELDON: If I were Tracy, this is the point where I would say, Awwwww. That’s so sweet.
LEAH: [laughs]
SETH: Smart-ass.
SHELDON: Moving on. [glances at his tablet and frowns] Seriously?
LEAH: What?
SHELDON: [sighs] Sex in the front yard or sex in the backyard?
LEAH: [laughs] Neither. Seth lives at David’s place, the hub of the Immortal Guardians’ world here on the East Coast. That place sees a lot of traffic, and I have no interest in putting on a show.
SETH: [nods] And even if they didn’t see us, every immortal within a five-mile radius would be able to hear us if we were outside.
SHELDON: Which leads me to my next question. Leah, is Seth a screamer?
LEAH: [laughs]
SHELDON: He is, isn’t he?
SETH: [narrows his eyes] That wasn’t on the list, was it?
SHELDON: [grins] Nope.
SETH: You like to live dangerously, don’t you?
SHELDON: Next question. [looks at his tablet] I really shouldn’t ask you this one. Fast and hard or slow and sweet?
SETH AND LEAH: Both.
SHELDON: [mutters] Now his eyes are glowing even brighter. [consults list] Oh, come on!
LEAH: [smiles] What?
SHELDON: [sighs] On top or on bottom?
SETH: [frowns] Sheldon, where did you get these questions?
SHELDON: Mostly from female employees who think you’re hot.
LEAH: He is. Very.
SETH: [whispers in her ear] Only because you make me burn.
SHELDON: Let’s just skip that one and move on. Naughty or nice?
SETH: Leah is very naughty.
LEAH: So are you.
SHELDON: Long sword or short sword?
SETH: You’d better be talking about weapons, Sheldon.
LEAH: [laughs] Long sword.
SHELDON: [sends Seth an uncertain look] Saddle or bareback?