He hated the way she could see inside him so easily. The feeling of being vulnerable was almost physically painful.
"I don't need you to be my armchair shrink," he said, rather harshly. "I'm alive. I'm working. I'm okay."
Gwen, being Gwen, didn't take offense. She just kissed his fingers, laid her head back onto his shoulder, and eventually returned to sleep.
Jack, though, couldn't sleep. He stayed up most of the night, listening to Gwen breathe, wondering if he should be the one afraid of getting hurt.
Chapter Fifteen
October moved into November. The crisp days of autumn turned into the rainy days of winter. The few days of sunshine meant that all the residents of Hazel Island got outside, including Gwen.
Sometimes Jack joined her. Other times, he was working, or Gwen was working, too. But they found a rhythm to their friendship that they'd never experienced before.
They still hadn't had sex. At least, not sex-sex, as Alex would've described it. Gwen had tried to bring it up, but Jack had always told her there wasn't any hurry. Besides, their work schedules didn't lend to them being with each other all that often. Sometimes an entire week would pass before they could find time to spend together.
It was on one of those misty, gray days that Hazel Island hosted its annual Cider Festival. Gwen had never understood why they didn't hold it in September or October. Then again, there was something cozy about drinking hot cider on damp, cloudy days.
Given the crowd, Gwen couldn't deny they were right. The festival was packed despite the depressing weather. The clouds overhead seemed to warn that a deluge could happen at any moment. But the locals knew that deluges of rain were rare. Instead, it was a steady drip of light rain or mist that permeated the island until springtime.
The festival featured booths serving all kinds of cider— such as apple, pear, and marionberry—with foods to match. Cider doughnuts, cider cookies, cider cotton candy. Displays and signs were covered in colorful apple graphics. A poor high school student who'd agreed to dress up as Cid the Cider Apple was constantly bumping into people due to the bulk of his costume.
"I want some doughnuts. Oh, wait, are those kolaches?" Alex handed her cup of cider to Felicity. "Do you guys want some?"
"Yes," Gwen and Felicity said at the same time.
Alex pushed through the crowd, determination on her face. No one could come between Alex and doughnuts. Gwen had learned that a long time ago.
"How many do you think she'll buy this time?" asked Felicity.
"If she comes back with fewer than a dozen, I'll buy you a drink," replied Gwen.
Felicity grinned. "Deal."
Alex eventually returned with two dozen doughnuts, along with three kolaches. "They'd already run out of most of the kolaches. Sorry, guys."
"How are we going to eat two dozen doughnuts?" Gwen shook her head at her friend.
"Oh, we can do it. I have faith in us," said Alex before biting into one of the doughnuts.
Felicity leaned over to Gwen and murmured, "You owe me a drink."
Despite the cold weather, Gwen felt warm and toasty as she and her two good friends enjoyed the festival. It helped that they didn't skimp on spiking the cider.
But as she wandered down Main Street, Gwen stopped in her tracks when she saw a dark head of hair. Her heart in her throat, she wondered how she should react if Jack were to approach them.
The man turned out to be a stranger, though, and Gwen let out a relieved sigh. Although she'd confided in Felicity about her relationship with Jack, she'd yet to disclose anything to Alex.
"Gwen, are you listening?" said Alex.
"What? Sorry, did you say something?"
"Well, it's too late now." Alex shrugged. "Cid nearly knocked a kid over. It was hilarious."
Felicity lightly elbowed Alex. "Alex, seriously."
"What? The kid's fine." She took a big bite of her second doughnut.
The trio eventually found an open bench and began to people-watch while eating all their goodies. Gwen sat in the middle between Alex and Felicity. Felicity seemed to content merely to watch the passersby, while Alex chattered about everything and nothing.
"Did I tell you about the dude who came into the store and was upset that we didn't have some random German book in stock?" said Alex. "He got super offended. I was like, dude, why would we have some book written in German that was published over fifty years ago? We can barely keep books in English that were released this year."
"Did you order it for him?" said Gwen, only half-listening.
"I couldn't. It wasn't available." Alex shrugged. "I think he might've cursed me and my descendants in German when he left."
"Oh, look, people I know." Jocelyn approached the trio, a cup of cider in her hand. "I didn't know you were coming to this thing."
Gwen felt a bite of guilt that she hadn't invited Alex's sister. It wasn't that she didn't like Jocelyn's company. It was more that Jocelyn and Alex tended to get snippy with each other over the silliest things. They weren't exactly the closest of sisters.
"We didn't think you'd want to come," said Alex.
Jocelyn took a sip of her cider. "Based on what, exactly?"
Alex shrugged. "You get all weird about food. Like you always have to make comments about it. Not everything has to be a Yelp review. It's weird."
Felicity was looking at her shoes. Gwen could feel the tension in the air already.
"You haven't been to this festival, have you? How do you like the cider?" said Gwen, trying to keep the conversation from going off the rails.
"It's good. At least the one I bought." She held out her hand. "Can I have one?"
Alex had closed the box a moment before Jocelyn had approached. "They're all gone. Sorry."
Gwen knew there were at least three still in the box. She opened her mouth, but Alex reached over to pinch her—hard.
"You already ate them all? You're going to get fat, you know." Jocelyn reached down and pinched Alex's cheek.
Gwen grimaced. Felicity looked like she was about to run for the hills. Alex, for her part, scowled and slapped her sister's hand away.
"The menu for Monday looks great," said Gwen hurriedly. "The crab cakes sound amazing."
"Well, the Dungeness crab here is so good, I like to use it as often I can. It helps that that fisherman of yours is so good at catching them," said Jocelyn.
Gwen's cheeks flushed. “He doesn’t go crabbing much anymore,” she stammered.
"Oh, Jack Benson, he's delicious." Alex licked her fingers. "I'd eat him up if he'd let me."
"I think he's already taken," said Jocelyn.
Jocelyn was looking at Gwen when she said that, and Gwen wished both of the Gray sisters were in the deepest parts of the Pacific Ocean.
"I always thought he was into you, Gwen. You should get on that horse and ride it," said Alex.
"Pretty sure that horse has already been ridden," was Jocelyn's quiet murmur.
Gwen stood up, surprising Jocelyn and nearly causing her to spill her cider. "I don't know what the hell you two are pissed at each other about, but I'm not going to be caught in the middle of it."