Jack looked embarrassed. He muttered something under his breath, and Gwen could almost see his face turning red under his tan. Had Jack Benson ever blushed in his entire life? It was difficult for her to imagine.
"You are. Underneath all of the growling and scowling, you're squishy." Gwen poked his stomach. "Well, not literally. Do you have an eight-pack under there?" She lifted his shirt to inspect further.
"You've already seen me with my shirt off." He raised a single eyebrow. "Actually, I distinctly remember catching you staring at me when I was naked."
Gwen had never mentioned that event to Jack since it'd happened, and he'd called her out on it later in the day. She'd just been too mortified to talk about it. Covering her face with her hands, she tried to squirm away from him.
Soon after they'd met five years ago, Gwen had stumbled upon a naked man swimming in the ocean. She'd been transfixed; he'd been like something out of a movie. She'd soon realized who it was, but that hadn't been enough for her to tear her gaze away. It had only been later that Jack had given her some binoculars, telling her it had seemed like she'd needed some.
"Do you still have those binoculars?" mused Jack, laughter in his voice.
"Oh, they're in a closet somewhere. I was too embarrassed to use them."
"Why?" He sounded genuinely surprised.
"Because if you'd seen me using them, it'd just make you remember how much of a creep I'd been." She grimaced. "I shouldn't have stared. It was rude."
"Rude? Gwen, baby, do you think I've been offended all these years?" He took her hands from her face. "I was flattered. Besides, I was out in public. It's not like you were lurking in the bushes outside my house to catch a peek."
"Do you even have bushes around your house?"
He grinned. "No. Helps keep peeping toms away, though."
Gwen wanted to die. It didn't help that Jack kept laughing, either. Eventually, she just rolled her eyes at him. She was glad he was laughing. He didn't do it nearly enough.
"Where are the binoculars?" said Jack suddenly.
"Um, in my coat closet. I think. Why?" Gwen pointed at a door near the entrance.
Jack rose and after asking if it was okay for him to look, he began to search in the closet for said binoculars. It was only when he said, "What the hell is this?" that Gwen remembered she'd stashed the ugly nightgown in there.
Jack held up the offending article of clothing. "What the hell is this?"
"What are you talking about?" Gwen went to him and took the nightgown from him. "I bought it for you. Isn't it sexy?" She held it up, the fish on its front as open-mouthed as Jack was currently.
"Seriously?" he said.
"I mean, you're a fisherman. It's a nightgown with a fish on it. What's not to love?"
He looked so confounded that Gwen couldn't help but laugh at him. Realizing she was teasing, he growled at her.
"You brat." He took the nightgown from her and then tossed it into some dark corner of the closet. "I really thought you were serious."
"I know. Your face—" She giggled. Her giggles only ended when he kissed her, hard. The giggles soon turned into a moan of surprise.
"Your bedroom," he rasped. "Now."
Jack lay in Gwen's bed, gazing at the ceiling. They were naked, and Gwen was dozing next to him.
Normally, he felt frustrated if he hadn't gotten sex yet. But for some reason, he was content to show Gwen how good sex could be with a partner who gave a shit.
When he made a little noise, his heart contracted. He didn't want to examine these feelings too closely, though. If anything, he should get up, get dressed, and go home.
But he stayed where he was, watching Gwen sleep.
Eventually, her lashes fluttered, and yawning, she asked, "What time is it?"
"Late. Early. Dunno."
"Well, that's helpful." She stretched, their legs hooking together. "Why are you still awake?"
"Just couldn't sleep. I usually sleep alone."
Gwen blinked in surprise. "You've dated other women, though."
"They usually leave that night."
"Oh." She wouldn't look at him now. "You can go if you want."
"I don't. Want to go, that is."
The smile she gave him was blinding. Do you really think you can end this without her getting hurt?
He told himself that Gwen knew the rules. She knew this was temporary. If she caught feelings, it'd be her own fault.
But even as he told himself that, the guilt for something that hadn't even happened made it difficult to speak.
"Have you never had a long-term relationship?" said Gwen, breaking through his thoughts.
"This is why I don't let women stay over," he rumbled, "because then they start asking questions."
Gwen wasn't deterred. She just waited patiently for his answer.
"I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. It's been years since I've had a girlfriend. Not since I was in my twenties."
"That sounds kind of lonely."
"It never bothered me."
"No man is an island. Even you, I'm sure. Everybody gets lonely."
"Not me."
If he sounded less than convincing, Gwen was smart enough not to comment on it.
"Sometimes it's nice to be single," she said, "but then other times, you want a person you can cuddle with. That person who you can eat meals with, who asks you about your day and vice versa. That you can rely on if you need anyone."
"I've never had that." Jack's voice was just a murmur.
"What about your parents?"
He hated this. But at the same time, he didn't sense any judgment in Gwen's tone. Merely curiosity, and concern. There was no one he trusted more than Gwen Parker.
"My dad ran off when I was a kid. I don't remember him. My mom..." How did he explain that to Gwen? "She had issues."
"Do you talk to her at all? My mom passed a while ago. My dad moved to Florida three years ago, so I really only see him for the holidays. So I kind of get not being close to your parents. Well, parent singular. I was close to my mom."
"When did she pass?"
"When I was in high school. She had breast cancer. It was already stage three by the time she was diagnosed, and it spread quickly." Gwen sighed. "I miss her every day."
"I'm sorry." And he was because if Gwen's mom was anything like Gwen, she must've been a hell of a woman.
"Thank you. I guess I get weird about people talking to their parents because you never know when they'll be gone."
Guilt nipped at Jack. Even as he'd distanced himself from his own mom for his mental health, there was still a part of him that had wanted to fix her.
"My mom was an addict. Still is, although she denies it. She was addicted to all kinds of things when I was a kid." He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "So my childhood wasn't great."
"Oh, Jack. That makes me so sad." Gwen took his hand and squeezed it. "No wonder you've kept to yourself."