Chapter Thirty-Six
Amelia
Music pumped through the store as Evie, Izzy, and I painted the walls. On the other side of the windows, dusk fell, bathing Main Street in warm light and long shadows. We’d propped the door open to air out the fumes and for some reason, I kept expecting Jack to poke his head in. I’d heard precisely nothing from him since he broke things off a couple weeks ago. Though, to be fair, I hadn’t reached out either.
What was I supposed to say? Please love me more than you love your own flesh and blood? Forget about their needs because I miss you? Nope. I couldn’t go there. Which meant the only direction I could go was forward.
Amelia Brown was moving on, moving up, and—
“I love this color!” Evie stood in the middle of the room and stared at the walls. “I had my doubts when you showed me what you had in mind, but…” She turned to me with a smile cranked to eleven. “This is good.”
My friend had her hair pulled back into a ponytail with a bandana covering her head. Her smile was bright and it came more easily than it ever had. She was happy here in Wildrose and Alex treated her like a princess.
I wiped away a smudge of paint on her cheek. “You always doubt me, and always come to regret it.”
“I’m with Evie on this.” Izzy put down her paint roller and inspected the walls. “I thought purple would be too bold, but this is good.”
“Pssh. There’s no such thing as too bold. I even had the t-shirt made to prove it!” I dug through one of the merch boxes and pulled out a shirt with the words: Shamelessly Me in a beautiful script on the front.
After Jack broke up with me, I’d spent a night or two wondering if things would have worked out if I’d been less weird, less enthusiastic, less perpetually positive. But that line of thinking was a dangerous one. I squashed it flat, reminded myself that I liked who I was, and made the design as a reminder. With a whole lot of pomp and ceremony, I hung the shirt on a hanger, and the hanger on a clothing rack.
“It’s starting to look like a store.” Evie ran her roller through the paint and attacked a wall. “I can’t believe you’re opening in two days.”
I couldn’t either, especially considering how much work still had to be done. Shelves needed hanging. Displays needed designed. The cash register was an enigma, though the reviews said it was easy to set up and use. In just under forty-eight hours, this drop cloth covered room would transform into my new favorite place to spend time. Jack’s house used to hold that honor, but who was I to second guess what life had planned? I’d been wrong to think my spirit guides wanted me in Wildrose to fall in love with him. Turned out, our paths crossed to bring this store to fruition. I’d be grateful for that and forget the rest.
Eventually.
Izzy paused on her way up a stepstool and peered over her shoulder. “I can’t believe you haven’t named the place yet.”
“It has a name.” I smiled weakly, then intentionally upped the wattage.
I’d stumbled on the idea in those days before Jack broke up with me, a name I thought for sure would make him laugh. I’d even ordered the signage for the doors and windows, hoping to surprise him.
“Since when?” Evie wiped hair out of her face, smearing more purple across her cheek. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I thought we’d make a little celebration out of the reveal.” With a flourish, I reached under the counter and pulled out a bottle of tequila, the same brand she and I shared before she moved here. I dragged a finger down the label while pursing my lips and raising my eyebrows, then pulled three shot glasses out of a box, each of them inscribed with the words Be Love Have Fun.
“I haven’t done shots since Evie moved into town.” Izzy rubbed her hands together. “This’ll be…something.”
I filled the glasses, then handed them to my friends. “Ladies, I’d like to be the first to welcome you to Woo-Woo Wildrose.” I held up my drink to their stunned expressions.
“Woo-Woo Wildrose?” Evie cocked her head, her eyes wide, her jaw dropped.
Izzy frowned, lowering her glass. “You hate woo-woo.”
“Funny thing. After my favorite people insisted on saying it over and over, I stopped hating it so much.” I smiled as my friends realized there was a favorite person missing from this moment.
Evie’s face fell. “You did it for Jack.”
“I thought it would make him laugh. But!” I said, amping up the energy, “you can’t tell me the alliteration doesn’t feel nice in your mouth. And maybe it’ll still make him laugh and that’s good, right?”
My friends tried the name on for size a few times, their grins growing as they fell in love with the utter ridiculousness the same way I had. Yes, it was silly, but I didn’t take myself too seriously. Why should I treat my store any differently?
Evie held up her glass. “To Woo-Woo Wildrose!”
We threw back our shots, coughing and sputtering as the alcohol burned down our throats. I poured us each one more, then put the cap back on the bottle. “I’d celebrate a little harder, but I have a lot of work I’m excited to get done tomorrow.”
We clinked glasses and tossed ‘em back.
“I’m sorry Jack couldn’t be here for this.” Evie hit me with a look that meant she was about to get really honest, really fast. “I know we’re all pretending you’re completely fine with not seeing him anymore but sweets, your exclamation points are feeling a little forced.”
“I’m just trying to concentrate on what’s good, you know, like this store, or finally being able to focus on being a good maid of honor for you. You have to admit,” I said with a wry smile, “we haven’t talked about your wedding nearly as much as we should have.”
Evie put a hand on my arm. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Yeah,” Izzy said, nodding sadly. “It’s one thing to keep a stiff upper lip, but you can’t just ignore the bad stuff and expect it to go away.”
I didn’t want to talk about this. Not now. Not ever. I wanted to focus on things that felt good and missing Jack and the kids felt like part of me was dying.
I held up my palms and closed my eyes. “I’m here to tell you that you can. Look at me! Bad stuff ignored. I’m great. I’m…” Jack’s face flitted through my mind, followed by an honest to goodness montage of all the moments we had together. A sob choked me and I dropped my head. “I’m so great.”
In a slew of condolences and sweet words, my friends wrapped me in a tight hug. Another sob shook my shoulders, and I did everything I could to swallow back the tears.
“There you go,” said Evie as she rubbed my back. “Let it out.”
“I don’t want to let it out. I want him back.”
“Have you talked to him?”
I shook my head and gave way to the tears. This did not feel like healing. This felt like regressing. Like wallowing. Like letting myself fall into that dark place I swore I’d never go again.
“Amelia, my sweet, sweet friend.” Evie squished my cheeks so hard my lips poofed out. “I appreciate how hard you work to keep a positive attitude about everything. I really do. But it’s not healthy to hide from the bad stuff. You have to look at it. You have to hold it in your hands and acknowledge it so the emotion can dissipate.”