“I’d argue, but this whole deal feels pretty flippin’ hard to me.” I smiled weakly, then wiped my nose as a car drove by, the passenger rubbernecking to get a look at my life falling to pieces on the side of the road. “He could have at least talked to me about this instead of making a decision for the both of us. This affects me just as much as it affects him.”
Austin bobbed his head in agreement. “When Nat died, so many people offered to help Jack with the kids. Hell, I even offered to stay with him for as long as he needed. I’m no housewife, though I do look damn fine in an apron, but I’m an extra set of hands and I’m not afraid of hard work.” He folded his arms over his chest and stared at his feet. “Everyone offered to help, but he turned us all down. He’s been beating his head against a wall, ‘trying not to be a burden’ ever since.”
I loosed a sigh as I stared at the man beside me, trying to imagine his beefy, tattooed arms poking out of a frilly apron. The image didn’t disappoint, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile.
He turned to me. “I’ve never seen him happier than he was with you. Never. And that’s saying a lot because he was pretty fucking blissful with Nat. He’ll come around.”
As much as I wanted that to be true, the story Austin just shared proved it wasn’t. “Did he ever come around enough to let you move in with him when he needed help?” I raised an eyebrow, waiting for my point to land.
“Nope. But I also dropped the topic.” Austin bumped his shoulder against mine and smiled. “Something tells me you aren’t gonna do that.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jack
Something in the house was burning. Again. Charlie met my gaze through the bathroom mirror and wrinkled her nose. Her eyes said she felt bad for me, which was a kick to the balls.
I lowered the hairdryer with a sigh.
“Dad!” Garrett’s voice tumbled down the hallway. “The oven’s smoking!”
“It’s okay, Daddy.” Charlie’s sad voice only deteriorated my mood.
I hauled ass into the kitchen and yanked open the oven door just in time for the fire alarm to start shrieking. An entire pan of bacon was black, singed, and utterly disgusting. I plonked it onto the stove with a muttered curse as Connor rushed to open a window. Coughing, Charlie came into the kitchen and pulled a chair under the fire alarm to wave the smoke away. Birdsong flitted in through the open window along with a blast of humidity. And to think, I’d almost missed stinking of burnt breakfast at work.
“I’m sorry guys.” My voice was flat. Not even an oven fire could spark excitement in me. “I guess it’s cereal again.”
“I think we can still eat the bacon.” Connor peered at the mess on the stove, poking at a piece here and there. “This part looks okay.”
“Yeah! I like it crispy,” Charlie said as Garrett nodded vigorously.
The fact that they were trying to make me feel better only made things worse. I was supposed to be the one taking care of them. Not the other way around. I’d broken it off with Amelia to take care of them, which had made me feel so awful, I was back to starting oven fires and running late…
Fucking rocks and hard places.
I was so done with being stuck between them.
“The bacon is too burned to eat.” I sucked in my lips as I stared at the mess. “Garrett? Will you supervise cereal? I’m gonna be late to work if I don’t get a move on.”
After Amelia drove out of my life on Wednesday, I used vacation days for the rest of the week. The change in routine had kept things different enough that I’d had a grace period on dealing with the choice I’d made. Breaking up with her hadn’t felt real until this shitty, smoky, Monday morning.
Charlie’s face lit up. “Maybe Amelia will have a fun idea for lunch.”
And the punches kept rolling in.
I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes. “Amelia’s not coming today, baby.”
“Why not?” Connor tilted his head. “Is she sick?”
“No, she’s not sick…”
“Does she not like us anymore?” Charlie asked.
I scrubbed my mouth as if I could wipe away what I really wanted to say, then closed the window before the humidity could overcome my hair gel. “Of course she still likes you. Why would you ask that?”
My daughter stared at the floor. “We were so mean to her and then she stopped coming over.”
“And you took a whole week off work.” Connor nodded as he looked to his siblings.
Charlie’s wide eyes met mine. “You always work.”
The time had come for me to drop the truth. The words stuck in my throat. Telling the kids would make it real. Like no coming back, deal closed, signed, stamped…real.
I cleared my throat, glancing at Garrett, hoping his reaction would remind me why I’d done this in the first place. “Amelia and I…we decided it might be better if we don’t see each other anymore.”
Garrett frowned, which was not the reaction I expected—or needed. While I wasn’t looking for fist pumps and celebration, that sad-puppy face didn’t exactly make me confident I’d made the right decision.
Charlie ran over and wrapped her arms around my legs. “I don’t want Amelia to go away.”
Connor sniffed. “Me neither.”
I met Garrett’s eyes, only for him to turn away, but right before he did, I could have sworn he looked disappointed.
Fucking disappointed? Really?
My emotions were so on edge, that was the last thing I needed to see. I needed certainty, not ambiguity, and the look on his face chiseled away at my confidence. Why in the world would he look disappointed after he broke down and cried in my lap?
I didn’t know what to say.
Thankfully, the doorbell rang, saving me from having to say anything at all. “That would be the babysitter.” I headed to answer, pausing in the doorway and turning around. “You guys better be good for her. I mean it. I can’t have any more drama. I’m just…I’m completely out of patience. I’m warning you now so there’s no confusion.”
“We’ll be good.” Garrett lifted his chin and looked to his brother and sister, who nodded.
“Who’s watching us?” asked Charlie. “Do we know her?”
With only a week before school started, none of the teenagers were willing to give up the last days of summer to watch my kids, especially when so many of them had awful experiences here in the past. And those that didn’t? They’d heard the stories.
I shrugged. “I don’t think you guys have officially met, but I’m sure you’ve seen her around town.”
That caught their attention and curiosity attached all three kids to my footsteps. Forgetting breakfast, they followed me to the door like little ducklings. I pulled it open to find Greta Macmillan looking smug on the porch. Three small gasps sounded behind me as I tried on a pleasant smile.
“Good morning, Mrs.—”
“I expect the kids know how to behave for me today.” Greta pushed her way into the house and peered at my children before turning back to me.
“We were just talking about how to be respect—”