She blinks and recoils like I slapped her. “Wow, I’ve read that you can be an asshole, but I never believed it until now.”
I work my jaw. “My partner is in there”—I jab my finger towards where I think Jessica is—“and I need to see her. I don’t really care what you think of me, I just need to know Jessica is okay. Do you think you can help me with that?”
“Sir,” another woman says sternly, coming up behind the one I’m glaring at. “This kind of behaviour isn’t tolerated in this hospital. I’m going to have to ask you to take a seat and calm down. If you can’t do that, I will have you removed.”
I’m about to tell her what I think of that when Axe joins me. “Jack, let’s take a seat, mate. You’re attracting a crowd, and what you’re doing isn’t helping you find out how Jessica is.”
I don’t give a fuck if I’m attracting a crowd, but I do give a fuck about finding out how Jessica is.
“Fuck.” I hold up my hands and apologise to the two women, “I’m sorry. I’m worried about her and not thinking straight. I’ll sit down.”
The stern woman nods but doesn’t loosen any of the rigid lines from her face. “Thank you.”
Axe and I take the seats next to Will. When I ask him where Mira is, he tells me she took the girls to her mother’s place and will be here soon.
I rest my elbows on my thighs and even out my breathing before looking up at him. “Jessica didn’t have her inhaler on her?”
He shakes his head. “No. She thought she did, but it wasn’t in her bag.”
“Fuck.” I look back down at the floor and shove my fingers through my hair. “How bad did the attack get?”
Will exhales a long breath. This has shaken the fuck out of him. “It came on fast. Faster than any attack I’ve ever seen her have. Thank fuck the ambulance came fast. I don’t know what would have happened if they didn’t get there when they did.” He pauses. “She was almost unconscious, Jack.”
That pounding in my ears starts again. And I feel clammy as fuck.
“Have the doctors told you anything?”
“No. Nothing. You know how the ED goes.”
I do. I have memories of sitting in the ED waiting room for hours on end waiting to hear news of Jessica. I fucking hate these waiting rooms.
This time, though, feels a thousand times worse than any of those other times. She was almost unconscious. She’s never been this bad.
I can’t fucking lose her.
37
Jack
An hour and a half pass in which we only hear some news because I get sick of sitting and waiting. Axe has to calm me down again. I am not fucking good at this shit.
The news we’re told is that Jessica is still having trouble breathing and that they are still working on her.
Will takes the news well. Me, not so much, although I am glad to know she’s conscious after Will told me how close she was to not being conscious earlier.
Ashton and Lorelei arrive half an hour after we receive the update. Ashton strides towards me with the kind of worried look I’ve only ever seen on him when I haven’t been well. “Any news?”
I shake my head. “Nothing new since the last update.”
Lorelei hugs me. “She’s going to be okay, Jack.”
“I fucking hope so.”
“Do you want anything? A coffee? Something to eat?”
“No.”
She looks at Will and Mira. “Do you guys want anything?”
Mira stands. “I need to stretch.”
Lorelei latches onto that. “I’ll come with you.”
I watch them walk away, my mind shifting to Jessica. I’m all the way down the rabbit hole of imagining a range of worst-case scenarios when a doctor approaches.
“We’ve stabilised Jessica for now and have her on a BiPAP machine so we can assist her breathing. At some point, we’ll move her to the ICU ward so we can monitor her and continue treatment there,” he says.
Jessica has been on a BiPAP machine before. It gives her chest muscles a break and reduces her breathing effort. I know from her previous hospital admissions that if this doesn’t work, they may have to intubate her, which is something they want to avoid. It’s also something she’s been able to avoid in the past, so I’m hopeful she will again.
“Thank you,” Will says.
“We’ll let you know when we’re moving her. You’ll be able to see her once she’s settled in ICU.”
The thing I’ve learned over the years is that nothing moves fast when you’re waiting in the ED. It’ll be hours before we’ll see her. I take the opportunity to use the bathroom, go for a walk and stretch, and get a drink of water.
Will meets me in the hallway on my way back. “How are you holding up?”
His question slows me down. It’s been many years since Will checked in on me. I never imagined the day he’d ever do it again. “I’m okay. You?”
He nods. “Same.”
I wait for him to either keep walking, or to turn and walk back to the waiting room with me, but he does neither. He stays where he is and watches me like he has something to say.
“Just say it, Will. Whatever it is, let’s get it out there.”
I expect something about me drinking. That always seems to be everyone’s go-to response when I experience stress in my life. Not that I blame them; it has been how I’ve handled stressful times. But for once, it’d be nice if everyone had as much faith as Jessica does that I’m not going to do it now.
He surprises the hell out of me when he says, “I don’t like what you did to Jessica, but I’ve never had to walk a day in your shoes, so it’s not my place to judge it.”
“Fuck,” I curse softly. “That was not what I expected you to say.”
“Yeah, well when Jessica told me you didn’t cheat, I never expected that.”
“I hated watching her lose herself back then.”
“Yeah, I know. I hated it too. But maybe if you’re thinking of trying to help her out in the future by doing something like that, run your plan by me first. Or Ashton. Or Mira. Anyone, Jack. I don’t ever want to watch Jessica go through that again.”
Fuck me, this is Will letting me know shit between us will be okay.
“I have no plans to help Jessica again. Fuck knows, that woman can take care of her own damn dragons now.”
“That’s the fucking truth.”
We walk back to the waiting room together.
Will sits with Mira who gives me a small smile and mouths, “Are you okay?”
I nod back that I am and take the seat next to Lorelei who puts her hand over mine and sends me a smile.
Ashton is on her other side, staring ahead like he’s plotting how to singlehandedly take over this hospital and direct every doctor’s attention to getting Jessica better.
Fuck, these are my people.
Jessica has mentioned her seven to me. It turns out I have eight, and four of them are right here by my side.
We have to wait two more hours to see Jessica. These are some of the longest hours of my life, and I’ve almost lost my damn mind by the time I finally walk into the ICU and lay eyes on my woman.