“Are we talking many hours here?”
A few, I think.
I scrub a hand over my face. “Thank fuck for that.”
I’m sorry I worried you so much.
“Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologise. Fuck, you can’t control your asthma.”
I should have had my inhaler. I don’t know what happened to it.
“You need to stop focusing on that and just focus on getting better.”
How’s your mum?
“She’s as fucking stubborn as you, but in answer to your question, she’s okay. She’s agreed to go to the doctor with me once I’ve got you home.”
You should take her today. There’s nothing you can do here.
“If you think you’ve got any chance of me going anywhere, you’re dreaming. I’m not leaving this hospital until you do.”
Jesus, Jack. You think I’m the stubborn one.
“No, I don’t think it. I know it.”
The nurse comes over to check on Jessica and asks me to leave for fifteen minutes while they do some things.
Jessica scribbles me one last note before I go.
I love you.
I never knew what I would do to hear those three words from this woman.
I thought I did, but I didn’t.
Fuck, I don’t even know who the Jack was who had her in his life six years ago. He certainly didn’t fully appreciate what he had.
Now, I will go through hell for Jessica.
I will walk through it.
Run through it.
Crawl on my bare knees through it.
I will fight off every last demon for her.
I never want to have to know what it’s like not to have her love again.
I stand and bend to kiss her cheek. “I love you too, baby.”
The nurse takes half an hour with Jessica. Will and Mira take fifteen minutes. Ashton and Lorelei take the same. I surprise the hell out of myself by not forcing my way back in to her during all this time.
Instead, I grab coffee for Axe and myself, and go for a long walk.
Axe stays close and we chat for a while about his time in the army, but he takes a call during our walk and slowly falls behind. The hospital is busy again, and most people pay me no attention. I get a few second glances, and a few looks of surprise, but no one approaches me. It’s the only good thing about Jessica’s stay here.
Rose calls me just after eleven.
“Is this good news or bad?” I ask.
“How’s Jessica?” I haven’t called or emailed her, but it doesn’t surprise me that Jessica has made the news.
I catch her up, and she says, “I wanted to touch base to check on her, but also to let you know two things. Firstly, social media seems to have slanted to stories that are slut-shaming Jessica. They’re pretty nasty, so if I were you, I’d encourage Jessica not to read them. And secondly, some good news. Kristy Goulding has just done an interview for her new movie and has spoken about you in it. She’s admitted that you didn’t sleep with her. Social media has picked it up and is running wild with it today. She’s said some wonderful things about working with you and what a gentleman you were to her. And while I think her publicist is smart as hell for this, we’ll take it. It’ll be good for you, Jack.”
Kristy was the woman I let Jessica think I slept with. I agree with Rose that Kristy’s publicist is smart to get her client to talk about me at a time when my name is front and centre on social media. I also agree that this will be good for me. Mostly, though, I fucking hope it helps settle all this shit down so that these stories about Jessica stop.
Unable to help myself, I pull up Instagram and do a quick search for the slut-shaming stories. It’s a bad fucking move because five minutes later, I’m ropeable. I’m furious enough to stalk outside where I hope to find a photographer to give a piece of my mind to.
“Jack,” Axe says, hot on my heels. “If you’re doing what I think you’re doing, stop and think about it.”
I don’t stop.
I pick up my speed.
My woman is lying in the ICU, fighting for her life, while these motherfuckers are publishing bullshit about her.
I’m not fucking thinking about it.
I’m sick of thinking about it.
I won’t fucking stand for it.
I exit the front doors of the hospital and spot the paparazzi. For once, I’m happy to see so many of the assholes.
I stride their way.
“Get your fucking cameras out,” I explode. “And record this so I don’t have to repeat myself.” I jab my finger at the hospital. “Jessica is in there. She’s been fighting for her life, and you fuckers are posting shit slut-shaming her. You should be fucking ashamed of yourselves. A man can sleep with whoever he wants, and you say nothing, yet a woman does it, and she’s made to feel bad about herself. I’ll tell you what I think. I’m all for a person exploring their sexuality. I’m also for equality for everyone. And when Jessica and I have children, we will teach them to explore and own every piece of themselves.”
I have a shitload of shit that I could continue with, but I pull myself up and stop. I’ve said the most important thing I came out here to say. If I continue, I may lose members of my team that I’ve finally started rebuilding. And for once, I’m thinking ahead. Fuck me, Constance will be fucking proud. And Rose might not wipe her hands of me. I think she’ll be able to salvage something out of what I’ve said.
“You and Jessica are perfect for each other,” Axe mutters as he walks me back inside.
I couldn’t agree more with him.
Jessica’s doctor keeps my blood pressure high most of the day. Instead of taking her off the BiPAP machine in the morning like Jessica thought might happen, they leave her on it. At one point, I start to believe they aren’t going to take her off it today. But then, she picks up and they finally remove that mask from her face just after 4:00 p.m. And my heart finally stops pounding in my ears.
“Jack,” she says after the doctors and nurses leave us. “I’m okay. Stop fussing.”
I am fussing. I know I am. I prefer to call it caring for her. But I can’t help it, and I have no intention of stopping.
“You need to get used to this. I see a lot of fussing in your future.”
“Jesus,” she says, her voice all raspy. I wait for her to say more, to give me one of her little rants where she tries to boss me into something, but she stops there.
“You don’t have the energy to argue with me, do you?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
I grin and fold my arms over my chest as I lean back against my chair. “I fucking hate it when you have an asthma attack, but this inability to argue with me is amusing to watch.”
She grabs the pad and pencil and scribbles something for me.
I’m still mad at you.
My grin only grows. “I have no doubt, sweetheart.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the kind of relief I feel right now.
I’m also not sure I’ve felt as determined as I do now to make Jessica my wife.
She better be ready for a whole lot of fussing and bossing.
38
Jessica