Chapter 17
“I’ll never be able to look at that guesthouse again and not see his naked ass,” I confess to Jess while simultaneously pushing the shopping cart and munching on the grapes I picked up in the produce section. It takes skill.
“It’s forever branded on my third eye. It’s a beautiful one; he is straight up the man of my dreams. But we have desecrated every piece of furniture in there.” A woman shopping in the baked goods aisle frowns at me and turns her cart in the other direction. “You shouldn’t eavesdrop, lady,” I say out loud. “It’s bad manners.”
It’s official. I’ve been invaded. My home is now occupied territory and my body a slave to conquering forces. But what about my heart?
It feels fragile and unprotected. I’m now convinced that’s what they really mean when they tell you not to have unprotected sex. They really mean your heart. And because of the state of my fragile heart, I had to talk about it with someone, and who better than the person who knows me best.
“Way to rub it in,” my best friend deadpans and I chuckle. “Never, ever carry on an illicit affair in your own home. It’s like a dog pissing on your couch to mark his territory. You’ll never get the stench of him out of there.”
I push the shopping cart down the frozen food and ice cream section and throw three tubs of Häagen Dazs in my cart. Mint chocolate chip, for Mona. Strawberry, for Darby. Dulce de leche, for me.
“I can always count on you to sugar coat it for me. And it’s not an illicit affair.” What exactly is it though? “It’s a one-way love story, sadly.”
“Wait, you told him you love him and he said nothing? That stinking puta.”
“Pump the brakes. No, I did not tell him I love him. But I can feel the words trying to jump out of my mouth every time he looks at me and smiles. They’re trying to come out. And he hasn’t said it yet. I mean, I see it on his face, but I need him to accept it. I need him to be at ease with it. People are their own worst enemy.”
“Preaching to the choir. Look, give him time.”
“I’m scared, Jess. I like this one. Scratch that, I love this one. But he’s turning thirty-seven a month from today. If he needs time to figure it out at his age, then we’re all doomed.”
“Tita always says things happen when they’re supposed to happen. I really believe that.”
I really believe that, too. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Tell me when you think I’m drowning. I’m too far gone to tell anymore.”
“I’ll do you one better. I’ll jump in after you. And then I’ll drown his ass.”
After I hang up with Jess, I get in line to pay and spot Andy, Mona’s attorney, three rows down from me. I wave, he waves. Then I get a wild hair up my butt and march over to do something about it. “Hey, Andy. How are you?”
“Great, Blue. How are you?” he mimics my delivery, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. Andy is a stocky, middle-aged guy who reminds me of Costanza on Seinfeld so this makes me snort.
“I know you can’t say anything to me due to attorney client privilege, but I need to say my piece.”
Andy frowns.
“How the hell could you have let her forget to pay her property taxes for two years,” I whisper hiss. “Two.” I hold up the corresponding fingers. “Really, Andy? We could’ve lost the ranch and the rescue.”
His eyes narrow and he frowns. “What are you talking about? I have no idea where you got that from. Her taxes are payed automatically through the trust. I have nothing to do with it.”
My eyebrows climb up my forehead. Holy freaks in hell.
“Trust?”
Andy looks confused. “Mona Harris is the only heir to the Harris Ranching fortune. It’s public information.”
I drive straight home in the truck Darby was kind enough to lend me and head for the barn. That’s where I find Mona.
“Guess where I was just now?” I say to her and hang my elbows over the door of the wash stall.
She’s in the middle of curry combing Legend and he’s loving every minute of her tender care. At my question, she looks me over.
“Wrestling with the goats?”
“What? No. I took a shower before I went into town.”
She looks skeptical. “Well, that’s good.”
Just to be sure, I check my blue t-shirt dress for animal hair and find one stray, grey hair. “Guess again.”
She squints, checks my hair out. “Hmm, taking a sauna at the resort?”
I touch my hair. It’s not that big. “Wrong again. I was at the supermarket.”
“Oh, good. Did you get the Häagen Dazs?”
“Yes, I got the Häagen Dazs. You know what else I got? The scoop from Andy.”
She stops currying the horse and her eyebrows climb all the way up her forehead.
“Yep, that’s right. Ya been busted.”
“In my defense––”
“Why? Just tell me why?”
She nods and takes a deep breath. For once, Mona is serious. “You’re twenty-nine years old, Blue, and you’re stuck in a rut. I wanted to shake you out of it. I don’t want you to end up like me, childless and alone because you’re smart enough not to go back to a loser who doesn’t deserve you, but you’re too scared to move forward…. I want more for you. I want it all. And staying here with me isn’t the healthiest thing for you but,” she shrugs, “I’m too selfish to let you go.”
Tears stream down my face. “You know how much I love your crazy ass, right?”
“Yes. I do, Smokey.”
Walking around the stall door, I throw my arms around her and bury my nose in her Chanel Nº. 5 scented neck. “Don’t ever do anything like that to me again.”
A day later, I’m in the barn getting lunch buckets read for the horses when Shane appears in the threshold of the feed room. We’ve been sneaking around at night and it has not been fun. Which loosely translated means we’re both sleep deprived and edgy. But we also agree that getting Aidan and Mona involved could throw off the progress that Aidan has made. You know, mess with the balance in a way.
Shane leans against the jamb and crosses his arms. His biceps are popping off, his pecs two hard slabs of muscle hidden under his USMC t-shirt. A new one. I’m keeping his old one forever.
“What are you doing, handsome?”
“Aidan is memorizing a new script. He’s gonna hit the ground running when he gets out of here in a few weeks.” He nods excitedly.
The smile slides off my face. The reminder that they’re both leaving soon makes me nauseous. We haven’t spoken about what will happen next. We haven’t spoken at all with all the great sex we’ve been having and I’m not one to complain but…
“Why the frown, shirina?”
He pushes off the jamb and walks in, pining me in place against the wall with his hips. Dropping his knees, he grinds against me. Between his silky basketball shorts and my cotton ones there’s not much separating us. I pant while fireworks go off in the backs of my eyelids and sparks shoot along my skin all the way to my groin. Shane takes my hands and holds them above my head on the wall while he kisses me slowly.