How could she be?
She had asked this man to marry her. She had yelled at him, kissed him, stamped her foot at him. She had cried in front of him.
She had fallen off the horse and broken her arm in front of him.
What was this but just right next to all those things?
He kissed his way down her stomach. To the tender skin of her inner thigh, and then he put his mouth on her there.
And she ignited. He pushed her, higher and harder than she ever thought she could go. And everything in her was tight, drawn like a bow. Like that moment before the gate opened and she and the horse exploded into the arena. But he kept going. On and on, like she was poised on the edge of a massive explosion, and she couldn’t think. Didn’t think she could handle it. And then he pushed one finger deep inside of her. And she released.
Her head fell back, and a hoarse cry escaped her lips. He was up her body quickly, catching her cries with his mouth. She rocked against him, and she felt him against the entrance to her body. Hard and heavy. Stretching her.
“Dammit,” he said. He moved away from her, and she grabbed at him, trying to bring him back to her. But he was down on the floor, grabbing his wallet off the ground. Taking out a condom and rolling it over his masculine length.
And she was grateful for that.
Because she would’ve forgotten. She just would’ve damn well forgotten. But he hadn’t. He protected them both, and then he pressed himself to the entrance of her body, his lips against hers. “This might hurt,” he said.
“It’s okay,” she said. Right before he breached her, right before he pushed inside of her. She gasped.
She felt like she was being split in two, but it ended quickly. It was just such a foreign sensation. And he was so big. She arched against him, and he went deeper. And she nearly pushed him away, but he pressed forward, and then it started to feel... Oh, then it started to feel good. Really good. He withdrew slightly, then flexed his hips forward and she groaned, grabbing hold of his shoulders. She rocked against him, chasing his every movement. Luxuriating in his every thrust.
This was something deeper and more connected than riding on the back of a horse, which, until this moment, had been the most spiritual experience of her life. But this was something else.
Jake.
Above her. In her.
And they moved as one. It wasn’t hard. It was perfect. Right and brilliant. And much to her surprise, pleasure began to build inside of her again. Higher and higher. But this time, she didn’t fight it. This time, she chased it. She arched her hips in time with his, the friction of him being deep inside ramping up her pleasure. They pushed each other. His forehead pressed against hers, his breath and hers mingling together. And then she broke. Shattered completely in his arms. And she didn’t feel weak. She felt strong. And he did the same. Shivering and shaking as he found his release. In her.
With her.
And nothing had ever seemed simpler than it did in that moment.
Man and woman.
Jake and Callie.
Husband and wife.
And she was desperate to keep the moment frozen. Because it wouldn’t stay simple. And she knew that. Because she’d made all kinds of bargains with herself before going into this. Because she’d told herself it was okay if things changed. Because she told herself they didn’t have to. And right now, she was afraid that if she stepped outside of this room, if she had to separate from him, if they had to get out of this bed and put on clothes, nothing would ever be okay again.
And that was when she realized that all the things she’d yelled at him hadn’t really been fair. Because yes, the people in her life often told her what she wanted. And she never thought that any of them were right.
She’d never thought for one moment that Jake might be right.
But lying there in bed with him, with him still buried deep inside of her, she was desperately afraid that he might be.
And that the consequences of this night could destroy her.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JAKE COULD HARDLY catch his breath. He couldn’t believe it. Years of restraint, completely undone. He’d... He’d made love with Cal.
Had taken her virginity. Everything he’d ever wanted to not be, he’d become, with her, just then. And he found he had a hard time regretting it. He should. But maybe that was part of that disconnect. Because he’d been with her, and the world had caught on fire. And now he was lying there and she was... Callie. But Callie like he’d never seen her. Warm and rumpled. Her hair was still in a braid. And she was naked.
She had a beautiful body. And everything had gone so fast... Yeah, he’d indulged himself. Tasted her, kissed her. Touched her. And now he was just... Staring. She was his best friend in the whole world. The closest person to him of anyone. Closer than his family. Closer than his brother. This was uncharted territory for him. Being with someone that he knew this well. Being with someone that he felt this kind of way about.
So, he pushed his feelings to the side. Because that at least was something he knew how to do. And he looked at her. At the gentle curves of her body. Her soft skin, with muscle definition just beneath. She was a fine-tuned little package. Feminine and strong all at once. So much more than she let herself be. Than she gave herself credit for.
And if nothing else, he wanted to make it his mission for her to feel all of that. She told him that she felt like she was stuck in a box. Like she was limited.
He didn’t want that. She was too incredible to live her life with limits. He’d known that from the first time he’d met her. That she was something else. That she was something special.
He reached out and took the rubber band off the end of her braid, slowly weaving his fingers through her dark hair.
“What are you doing?” she mumbled.
He smiled. She was sleepy. But then, she’d come pretty hard, so he imagined she was halfway to knocked out. Normally, he would be, too. Normally, he would be getting his ass out the door, or sending his partner on her way about now so he could get some sleep. But he couldn’t do that with her.
He’d never slept with a woman before. And there were other bedrooms in this house. But he didn’t... He couldn’t make her go. He wanted to shield her. Protect her.
The strangest surge went through his chest. An expansion that felt like air, but was just her. Her and some emotion he couldn’t pin down. Like trying to catch light and put it in a jar so he could examine it.
He didn’t want to examine it. He wanted it gone.
He should go. Right now.
But it would hurt her.
And he wanted to keep on touching her.
“I want to see your hair down,” he said.