Colin guffaws. “There’s no better man to explain the job. It’s so great to see you, Rum Cake. You look great.”
“You too, Colinoscopy. Congrats on the movie. I’ve been meaning to call you.”
“No worries. We’re both busy. Yeah, it’s been a blast.” He motions to me, as I stand next to the men fidgeting excitedly. “Speaking of the movie, this is my good friend, Amy O’Brien. She used to live next-door to me, growing up. She’s been on the set with me this week, keeping me from having a nervous breakdown. Ames, this is the coolest guy you’ll ever meet, Ryan Morgan. Captain Morgan. Rum Cake. My Master Yoda. I told you about him.”
“Yes, I remember. It’s nice to meet you, Ryan.” My brain is racing with a thousand thoughts, all at once, including the following ones: He’s gorgeous. Oh my God, he’s the one who figured out The Sure Thing! Holy shit, his dick is pierced!
“You, too, Amy,” Ryan says, shaking my hand. “Thanks for taking care of our boy.”
“It’s been fun.”
Wait.
Hold up.
My racing thoughts skid to a stop, as my brain rewinds and fixates on the words Colin used to introduce me to this scrumptious man.
Good friend.
Used to live next-door.
Keeping me from having a nervous breakdown.
It’s all true. Nothing false there. And some of it is complimentary. So, why does all of it, put together, feel like a punch to my gut? Didn’t Colin say he only felt the need to hide what he’s been doing with me from our families? So, why did he call me something as platonic as “good friend” while introducing me to one of his best friends?
Although come to think of it, what should Colin have called me? I’m not his girlfriend, after all. Should he have been honest and introduced me as his fuck buddy or friend with benefits? As accurate as those labels would have been, they would have been mortifying to me.
My heart stops.
The truth is mortifying to me.
Shit. That’s never a good sign.
We follow Ryan into the house, my mind still teeming with thoughts, but the minute I see the adorable scene unfolding in the next room, I instantly forget my own worries and feel swept away by the purest form of wholesome joy. In Keane and Maddy’s family room, little Jackson Morgan is sitting on a couch, his legs so short the bottoms of his sneakers are visible. On his lap, he’s holding his new cousin, Baby Billie, and cooing adorably at her, while his proud parents snap a thousand photos.
New mommy, Maddy, is splayed out in an armchair, looking exhausted but amused at Jackson’s exuberance, while new daddy, Keane, is perched next to his nephew, making sure his daughter’s tiny head and neck remain properly supported by Jackson’s arm and some well-placed pillows.
When Keane sees Colin entering the room behind Ryan, he pops up and greets him warmly, before surprising me with a warm hug, too. “Welcome, Little Orphan Amy,” Keane says. “Come see what I made!”
Maddy giggles from her armchair. “You did nothing special—only what you would have done, anyway.”
Keane chuckles. “It never fails to annoy her when I say that. Ha!”
I meet Maddy and greet Dax and Violet and Jackson, and then take a seat next to the little cutie who’s still cooing at his baby cousin on the couch. When the photo shoot ends, Keane scoops up his tiny daughter and proudly shows her off to Colin and me. We remark on her eyes and lips and ears, and Keane coos at his baby in ways that make my heart go pitter-pat.
Soon, however, “show and tell” is over, and Keane hands Billie to his wife, who drapes a blanket over her shoulder and feeds her newborn underneath it.
“Did you see me, Uncle Colin?” Jackson says. “I got to hold Billie!”
“Yeah, I saw. You did a great job, little dude.”
“I’m big now.”
“You’re huge.”
Without missing a beat, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, Jackson crawls onto my lap and makes himself at home. “Did you see me?”
“I did. You were so good with Billie. She loves you.”
“I love her. The most.”
Everyone laughs and praises Jackson for uttering what I’m quickly learning is one of this group’s favorite turns of phrase.
“It’s a Morgan thing,” Colin confirms to me, as everyone chuckles around me. “The Morgan kids grew up competing to be their mother’s favorite—in number one spot, they called it. The one she loves the most. Over the years, they started saying it all the time to each other.” Colin turns to Jackson. “Who do you love the most, Action Jackson?”
“Billie Goat.”
Everyone laughs wholeheartedly.
“And Mommy and Daddy,” Jackson quickly adds. He looks around. “Where’s Uncle Fish?”
“He’s coming, Bubba,” Violet assures him.
“What about me?” Colin asks. “I’m right here. And I’m way cooler than Fish.”
Jackson shakes his head and Colin clutches his heart like Jackson’s thrown a dagger into it. And once again, I find myself marveling at how loose and relaxed Colin seems around these people, his very best friends, compared to how brooding and guarded he can be around people he doesn’t know nearly as well.
Conversation ensues. Maddy and Keane tell the group the story of Billie’s birth, and not surprisingly, considering who our storytellers are, their tale makes everyone laugh. Midway through the story, the doorbell rings and Ryan pops up to answer it. When Ryan reappears, he’s got Fish and Alessandra in tow.
As Fish and Alessandra enter the room, Maddy removes the blanket from her shoulder to reveal a sleeping Billie in her arms. Of course, Fish and Ally fawn over Billie for a few minutes, the same way Colin and I did earlier. Another round of photos is taken, and the sleeping baby is passed around the room. After Fish passes Billie to his beloved girlfriend, rendering his lap newly open for business, Jackson quickly seizes his opportunity and beelines straight from my lap to his Uncle Fish’s.
“You do realize this makes you my mortal enemy,” I say to Fish, as Jackson climbs aboard, and the mock scowl Fish flashes me tells me he remembers his similar comment to me from the other night.
“Are Zander and Aloha coming over?” Dax asks, as his wife is handed Billie. And because I’ve watched every single Ball Peen Hammer video in existence, I know he’s referring to Keane’s longtime best friend, Zander Shaw, who appeared in several early episodes, as well as Zander’s popstar wife, Aloha Carmichael, both of whom I met at Laila’s birthday party.
“No, Z and Aloha had to leave for London today for some big award Aloha is getting, so they met Billie in the hospital.”
“You want to hold her?” Violet asks Colin, since he’s the only one who hasn’t held the baby yet.
“Absolutely,” Colin says, surprising me with his enthusiasm. “Gimme that baby!”
Violet slides the baby into Colin’s tattooed, muscled arms, and the minute he smiles down at her, both my ovaries explode like mini nuclear bombs. This isn’t a run-of-the-mill swoon I’m feeling right now. This is a Code Red Cat Five Hurricane overtaking me.
“Hey there, Billie Goat,” Colin coos at the sleeping angel in his arms, before leaning down and smelling her fuzzy hair. He says something about how good she smells . . . I think? And everyone agrees and starts talking about the scent of a newborn baby being the best one in the world. I think?