“And that’s not enough for you,” Violet says.
“No. Not anymore. Not nearly enough.”
Violet nods. “What I’m about to say might sound harsh, but I’m only saying it because I’ve been in your exact shoes with Daxy and done precisely what I’m about to suggest to you.”
I look at her expectantly, already certain I’ll do whatever this gorgeous woman instructs, if it’d give me the slightest chance of winding up with Colin the way she’s wound up with Dax.
Violet levels me with fierce, blue eyes. “You need to come clean with Colin about your feelings, without holding back, as soon as possible, and let the chips fall where they may.”
Shoot. I suspected she was going to say that.
Violet continues, “You should give Colin a fair chance to respond, of course. But if that stupid man doesn’t fully reciprocate your feelings in a way that honestly feels like enough to you, if he stops short of giving you what you know, down deep, your heart needs to be happy, then you should end your ‘arrangement’ on the spot and leave Colin’s house.”
I nod, but I’m trembling.
“Colin’s not the best at processing his feelings quickly,” Violet says. “Even when it comes to stuff with the band, he’s always the one who needs more time than the other guys to think about different opportunities and offers. And from what I’ve seen, he’s even slower to process in his personal life. It’s not you, Amy. Colin is a tough nut to crack. So, my suggestion is you should tell him what you’re feeling, give him the chance to respond, and if he’s not giving you what you need, then leave and give him time to process his emotions—while discovering exactly what it feels like to lose you for good.”
“I agree with everything Violet’s said,” Maddy chimes in. “I’ve been in your shoes, too—with Keane.” She looks down at Billie in her arms. “And I’m positive I wouldn’t be here now, if I hadn’t drawn a line in the sand with that man.”
I look down at the top of Jackson’s head and discover he’s fallen asleep in my arms, with his little cheek pressed against my breast, and full clarity slams into me. As much as I’m dreaming of a future with Colin, I need to be willing to let him go, for real this time, if he’s certain he can’t imagine a future with me. I love Colin. But he’s not the only man in the world. And if he’s not willing to love me, out in the open, the way I deserve, to shout about his love for me from the rooftops, to proudly tell our families about us and introduce me to everyone we meet as his girlfriend, then I need to find someone who will.
“I’m going to follow your advice, to a T,” I say. “I’ll do it tonight.”
Maddy smiles at me kindly. “If things don’t go the way you’re hoping and Colin starts sending you texts and voicemails over the next few days, I’d suggest you ghost him for a little bit.”
“Yep,” Violet says.
“You’re both here in LA,” Maddy adds. “If he has something important to say to you, let him say it to you, in person.”
Violet touches my arm. “If you wind up leaving Colin’s place tonight, come stay with me. We’ve got an empty guest house for you.”
“Thank you. It’s so sweet of you to offer. But if things don’t go well with Colin tonight, I won’t want to stay where he’ll likely come around. I’ll want to give myself some time to lick my wounds, without seeing him for a week or so.”
“Do you have somewhere else you can go?”
I nod. “A couple friends have said I can crash at their places, anytime.”
We talk a bit more about Colin and my strategy, until Violet shifts the topic.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” Violet says to me. “I hope this isn’t a weird time to bring this up . . . I know I’m not what you’ve had in mind during your job search, but would you consider working for me?” When my lips part in surprise, Violet elaborates. She says I’d be working for her, personally, not for Dax—at her house. She says she’s been wanting a full-time assistant/right-hand woman for some time now but hasn’t pulled the trigger yet because she’s been skittish about hiring a stranger to enter her family’s home and life. “But I trust you completely, Amy,” she says. “And I know you’d be perfect for the job I have in mind.”
“What would the job be, exactly?” I ask.
“You’d help me with my cancer charity some, but mostly, you’d help me launch my dream of designing wedding dresses. You’d also probably help get me organized, in general, and lend a hand with Jackson, as needed.” She looks at her son, asleep in my arms. “I can’t believe how quickly he took to you.” She looks at me hopefully, her blue eyes sparkling. “So, that’s my pitch. What do think?”
I don’t hesitate. “I think yes. I accept your job offer.”
Violet laughs. “I’d understand if you need to think about it, now that things might be up in the air with Colin.”
I shake my head. “No matter what happens with Colin tonight, we’ll always be friends. He’s not a factor in my decision-making about this. My answer is yes.”
“But we haven’t even talked about salary yet!” Violet proposes a figure that’s almost five times what I made during the RCR tour—a number that makes me feel like tipping over in shock. But, somehow, I manage to nod and calmly reply, “That sounds great. My answer is still yes!”
Violet whoops, and so do I.
“When would you like me to start?” I ask.
“How does a week from Monday sound? Keane and Maddy are taking Billie to Seattle tomorrow to spend a week with the Morgans, and Daxy and I are going to join in. It’s my mother-in-law’s birthday on Sunday, so we’re throwing her a surprise dinner party and getting everyone together under one roof as her gift. She’s going to flip out.”
“That’s so sweet. Yeah, a week from Monday is perfect. Do me a favor, though: don’t tell Colin about my new job before then, not until I’ve shown up for my first day of work. Once I’ve told him my feelings tonight, I want his reaction to be based on nothing but his honest feelings. I don’t want Colin deciding to be with me, simply because he realizes he’s going to be seeing me all the time, anyway, and I’m the path of least resistance.”
“So smart,” Violet says. “Okay, I won’t say a word. And neither will Daxy.”
“Thank you.”
“My lips are sealed, too,” Alessandra says. “I won’t tell Fish about the job, so he doesn’t feel like he’s keeping something from Colin. Poor Matthew is the worst at keeping secrets. I’ll spare him the torture.”
I inhale deeply. “Thank you, guys. Wow, I feel like such a huge weight has been lifted off me. I didn’t realize how much this ‘arrangement’ with Colin has been twisting me into knots until we started talking.”
“The truth shall set you free,” Violet says.
“And it can also hurt,” I say, exhaling. “Here’s hoping I don’t get hurt too badly tonight.”
A commotion draws our attention—the men re-entering the room, all of them laughing and razzing Keane.