"Then I don't want to go."
"But I broke your trust. I had told you Tyler and I were just friends."
"And you were just friends when you told me that. I broke your trust by not telling you about my marriage. Even though I never said I wasn't married."
"So neither of us lied, but we both hurt each other."
I nodded. I was good at hurt. She could hurt me again and again and it wouldn’t really phase me. Hurt was all I knew.
"Then I guess we're even?"
I smiled. "Penny, you're hard to control. And I'm used to being in control."
"So what do we do now?" she asked.
It felt like we were in a stalemate. We had both hurt each other and neither one of us knew if we could trust the other. And I hated that feeling. I just wanted to move past this. "Penny, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know."
"You're the one that needs to make a decision. I still want you. I don't care about what happened between you and Tyler. All I care about is what we have."
"I've never felt the way I feel about you with anyone before. You make me feel like I'm living for the first time. But I'm sick of secrets. I don't want to hide that I'm dating you anymore. All the secrets make everything so much harder."
"Who do you feel like you're keeping secrets from?" I asked.
"Melissa."
As soon as she said it, it reminded me of what she’d said about her ex. That they couldn’t have broken up because they’d never really dated. Was that what this was all about? Labels? I’d give her any label she wanted if it showed her how much I cared. I’d feel better if we labeled it too. I wanted us to both know where we stood. And I was all in. I’d promised her I wouldn’t treat her like her ex had. That I’d never make her feel worthless. I hoped that I hadn’t done that. "So tell Melissa that I'm your boyfriend."
She smiled up at me. "Is that really what you want?"
"Yes, I want you to be my girlfriend, Penny. I told you before that I didn't relish the idea of sharing you. I don't want you to be with anyone else ever again. Just me." I leaned down and gently pressed my lips against her. She responded like she always did, melting into me. And that was all the reassurance I needed that we were okay. I exhaled a breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding. We’re okay.
I pulled away and looked around her room. There was a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream melting on her desk. And clothes were strewn on the floor. She was…sloppy. I hadn’t expected that. "So this is where you live?" I pulled off my suit jacket and draped it over the back of her desk chair.
"It's a dorm room. What did you expect?"
I shrugged. "I haven't been in one for a while. It's a lot smaller than mine was." I looked at the collage of pictures on her bulletin board. She looked younger in several of them, probably pictures of her in high school with old friends. There were also some pictures of her and Melissa around campus. "You're quite popular." I smiled at her.
She laughed. "No, not really."
"Why do you always put yourself down like that?" I reached for her hand. "Don't you see how wonderful you are?"
"No one else sees me the way that you do."
"All I see is you."
Her throat made that adorable squeaking noise.
I looked over her shoulder. My sweater was on her bed. "Do you always make a habit of sleeping with clothing that you've stolen from people?" I lifted my sweater.
Her face flushed. "Just you."
"Just me." I traced my index finger along her jaw line. I wanted to kiss her again, but I wasn’t sure that’s what we needed. We just needed a moment of peace. Quiet. "This past week has been exhausting.”
"Then maybe we should take a nap."
I smiled. That actually sounded perfect. "As you wish." I pulled my tie loose, unbuttoned my dress shirt, and laid both on top of my suit jacket. I slowly unhinged my belt and pulled it free, very aware of Penny’s eyes on me. I sat down in her chair and leaned over to unlace my shoes. I kicked them off, along with my socks, and stepped out of my dress pants. I was standing in a dorm room in just my boxers. When was the last time that had happened? I folded my pants and draped them on the back of the chair.
She just stared.
"Are you going to join me?" I asked with a smile.
She quickly undid her pants, slid them down her legs, and pulled off her black t-shirt. She was left in a simple pair of panties and a bra. And she looked seductive as hell.
I picked up the pint of ice cream from her desk and took a bite as my eyes grazed over her body. "Delicious.” But I wasn’t talking about the ice cream. I was talking about her. “Get in bed." I popped the lid on the ice cream and put it back into the freezer.
She climbed into bed and I joined her. The twin bed was barely long enough for me and definitely too small for both of us together. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to be wrapped up in her. I rested my head on the pillow and stared at her in silence for a few minutes. Her lying beside me felt so normal and so comforting. I took a long, slow breath. If she wasn’t tired, I could think of a million different things I’d rather do with her than sleep.
"What are you thinking?" I whispered.
"That I'm not that tired." She moved closer and wrapped her legs around me.
"I thought you wanted to nap." I ran my fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face.
"Not anymore."
"Thank God." I pulled her to me and placed a kiss on her lips.
***
I blinked and slowly opened my eyes. I must have fallen asleep with Penny in my arms. I hadn’t slept this well since she’d been in my bed with me. I hadn’t really slept at all since then.
She was smiling down at me, her fingers tracing the side of my neck.
I was glad I wasn’t the only one having trouble keeping my hands to myself. "Hey,” I said and smiled.
"Hey, yourself."
"Were you watching me sleep?" I wasn’t sure why, but the idea made me so happy. She was as infatuated with me as I was with her.
"Mhm. Not in a creepy way, though."
I laughed. "I didn't think it was creepy until you said that it wasn't. Now I'm not so sure." I reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Your bed is extremely uncomfortable." She needed to spend more time in mine. I was pretty sure I could find a way to rectify this situation.
"You get used to it."
I raised my left eyebrow. Yeah right. "But I do find it easy to fall asleep next to you. You're the only person that seems to be able to make me relax." My hand lazily wandered down her back and landed on her perfect ass.
She laughed. "Melissa is going to be back soon."
"Did you want me to stay and introduce myself?"
"I don't really want you to leave, but I think it's better if I tell Melissa alone."
"Are you kicking me out?" I smiled at her.
"It's nothing personal."