“What’s wrong?” he urged.
She sighed. “Nothing. I…”
I’m enjoying this way too much.
I don’t want this to end.
I think I love you.
That was not the right thing to say, even if it was only in her head. How could she love Sean when she hadn’t even seen him in years? In fact, the last time she’d seen him was right before she moved to LA. After packing up her apartment in Melbourne, she’d spent her final days in Patterson’s Bluff with her family. On the very last night, she’d gone to Riptide. Why? No idea. The beer was bitter, the bar was sticky, and she hated pretty much everything about it.
Everything except him.
Wave of Love was already getting serious interest from producers and she knew it was now or never. But she’d sat at the bar, watching him work, wondering if there was a reason she kept writing about him. Wondering if never telling him how she felt was the biggest mistake of her life.
You needed to come to LA. It was the right decision.
For her career, yes. But for her heart? She wasn’t so sure. What if nothing came of the portfolio she’d sent to the showrunner of this new TV show? If they read her work and found it dull or predictable or uninspired, then…
Her phone vibrated in the secret pocket, cleverly hidden in the side seam of her dress, and Lily closed her eyes. Intuitively, she knew this was it. The phone continued to vibrate and when she pulled it out, her heart almost stopped.
Sean stepped back, his eyes shifting between her and the phone. “Answer it.”
She swiped her thumb across the screen and brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Lily Dunn? It’s Nina Chamberlain. I read over the samples you sent me, and I loved everything. When are you back in LA? I want to talk about bringing you onto my writing team, if you’re still interested.”
Lily’s gaze met Sean’s and she could see the realisation filtering over his face. There were no illusions now. No fantasies about what might happen after the wedding. This was it.
The beginning of the end.
14
Sean could hear the woman on the other end of the phone. But even if he couldn’t, he would still know this was the phone call Lily had been waiting for. Only… she didn’t look as happy as he expected. Instead, her eyes were wide and there was something in her expression that spoke of regret.
No, not regret. Resignation, perhaps?
Her warm, brown eyes held his as she arranged a meeting for the day after she landed back in LA. Her voice was crisp and professional, and it had none of the husky laughter bubbling behind it he’d been hearing for the last twenty-four hours. It was like watching her slip on a costume. When she ended the call, she tucked her phone back into the hidden pocket in her cocktail dress.
The pantry was quiet.
“Congratulations,” he said. It was strange to feel happy for someone, while also wishing the outcome had been different. Because maybe if she hadn’t gotten this opportunity…
Seriously? You’d wish away the career break she’s been looking for? That’s a dick move.
He wasn’t sure how to feel and, by the looks of things, Lily wasn’t, either. She sucked in her bottom lip and nodded her head. “Thanks.”
“You don’t seem thrilled.”
“I am.” She tipped her face back up to his. “This is exactly what I’ve been working toward.”
He noticed she didn’t say, “This is exactly what I want.” Which seemed an important distinction to him. But perhaps that was the difference between Lily and Sean—he was driven by the now, and she seemed more than willing to sacrifice for the future.
“Spit it out,” she pressed, narrowing her eyes at him.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Exactly. But I can hear your brain working overtime from here.” She folded her arms across her chest. The mood had certainly shifted in the pantry. “If you have something to say, then say it.”
“It seems like you’re chasing this job for industry connections more than because you’re interested in the work.”
“That’s not true. Having a successful TV show under my belt will be an amazing experience and I’ll learn a lot.” Her response sounded rehearsed. “But yes, the connections are important. That’s how the film and television industry works.”
“And how does any of that help you write your novel?” he asked.
He didn’t mean the question to be probing, but he was genuinely curious. It seemed like when Lily was left to her own devices, that was what she wanted to work on. She was drawn to it. He’d seen the light in her eyes when he found her scribbling in her notebook. But the second it came to her career, she discarded the idea of working on a novel like it was something frivolous or a waste of time.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s helpful to my novel, or not. I have to focus on what I have in front of me… not on what might be.”
She walked past him and pushed open the pantry door, letting light spill into the small space. Her heels made clicking sounds against the tiled floor. Sean followed her. The kitchen was deserted, with most of the wedding guests partying in the grand room.
“Is that statement about your work or about something else?” he asked.
She froze. For a moment, she stood facing away from him, long waves of silky dark hair cascading down her back. Her dress glimmered, every bead doing its best to capture the light and reflect it back. Her long legs were capped with sexy high heels, and Sean had to do everything in his power not to reach out and touch her, just to see if she was real.
She was so beautiful. So… everything he wanted.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” she asked, turning around. Her lips were pink from their heated kisses and her cheeks were flushed, as if she’d just come in from the cold.
He jammed his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo pants. “I do.”
“I’ve had moments where I wondered if…” Her eyes darted across the kitchen, as if to make sure no one was about to walk in on them. “Where I wondered if there’s something really here. Something that’s beyond attraction.”
The confirmation that she sensed their spark didn’t make him as joyful as it should have, because he was already anticipating what was coming next. “But?”
“But our lives are so different, I can’t even fathom what it would take to make it work.” She shook her head. “Actually, I know what it would take, and it isn’t something I can abide. One of us would have to give up our home, our job. Our life.”
She was right. They lived in different parts of the world and had different commitments. Her job held her in LA, while his steadfast commitment to his family and his volunteer work held him in Patterson’s Bluff. She’d sacrificed being close to her family to chase her dreams, and he’d never cultivated any dreams of his own.
“So that’s what I mean when I say I’m better off sticking with what I have, which is my career, instead of chasing what might be.”
“And what might be?” His voice was low and rough. Maybe hearing her say the words would make it easier to walk away.
But part of him knew it wasn’t true. What they’d shared, no matter how brief, was everything he’d hoped for when he purchased a ticket to LA. Back then, he had no plans beyond tracking her down. Had he been hoping she might come back to Australia with him? Maybe. Had he thought that finding out whether she wrote Wave of Love about him would magically solve these very problems? Yes. It was naive but it was the truth.