I shook my head, laughing. “No.”
She teased, “Are you color blind?”
I smiled, tugging her toward me. “The only thing I’m blind for is you, sweetness.”
My fingers slid along the island in our kitchen, recalling the first time we stood there after closing on our house. We were so happy, so in love, so fucking consumed with one another.
I gripped onto her ass and lifted her up onto the island. Spreading her legs, I slipped in between them to kiss her neck.
“Christian!” she giggled. “I need to put the groceries away, and then I have to cook dinner.”
“The only thing I’m hungry for is you.”
She giggled again, making my cock twitch at the sound.
“We’re not going to have anything to eat!”
“Baby…” I kissed my way down her perfect body until I was on my knees in front of her, sliding down her panties. “I’m ready to eat now.”
She laughed, throwing her head back. It was one of my favorite sounds. As soon as she felt my tongue on her clit, she loudly moaned, and I ate what I wanted for dinner.
Step by step, I made my way through our home.
Hearing her laughs.
Seeing her smiles.
Feeling our love.
Starting from the front door where I carried her over the threshold, to the stairs where I made love to her for hours on end, to the travertine floors we’d spent entirely too much time at Lowe’s for. Every corner of this house held a memory of our life together.
There was no escaping it…
The good.
The bad.
“Christian!” she shouted. “You’re not listening to me!”
“How can I when all you do is yell at me? For fuck’s sake! I just walked in from a fourteen-hour work day, and you greet me with nothing but your bullshit!”
“It’s the only time I have before you go hurrying back to the hospital again to deliver another baby!”
“Well, at least someone is having babies around here!”
Over the years, we both said things we didn’t mean. Letting our anger speak for itself was never a good thing. It was one of the reasons we tried therapy, thinking it might help, it might repair what was broken between us. Or, at least help us talk to each other without screaming.
At first, I thought it was working until our problems became bigger than our love. Somewhere along the way, we lost respect for one another, and anything was free game when it came down to hurting each other.
Words had the power to cut you, and we’d been using our tongues as butcher knives for the last few years.
It wasn’t always like this. We were even featured in Home and Gardens—the successful doctor and his beautiful professor wife. A lot of time and devotion was put into every detail of this house, down to the pillows on the sofas, and the accessories she perfectly matched to the tones of the room. I had no part in that—it was all Kinley.
Saying it was the first home she’d ever had.
“Oh! You can’t use that throw blanket, Christian. It’s only for decoration.”
I grinned. “You bought a blanket we can’t use?”
She smiled. “But look how nice it looks.”
I eyed her up and down. She was wearing a light pink nightie. “I’m not looking at the blanket, sweetness. Come here.”
“Hold that thought. I’m going to go get my robe. I’m cold.”
Before she could turn around to leave, I grabbed her wrist and sat her on my lap. “Don’t worry, baby.” Sliding my fingers into her panties, I rasped, “I’ll have you burning up very soon.”
Under all the hurt, the insults, and the things we could never take back, I still felt our profound love in this house.
I hadn’t been in our bedroom for months, and once I stepped into the space we used to share, a shiny frame caught my attention from the corner of the room. Suddenly, I was walking toward the pictures I hadn’t seen in who knows how long.
Did she just hang these?
Reaching for the frame, I took out the photos to hold them in my hand. It was the pictures we had taken in the photobooth at the end of the summer carnival all those years ago. We were sixteen and looked so fucking young. Her eyes sparkled against the sun coming in through the balcony behind me, only revealing her contagious smile and petite features as her hair flowed around her stunning face.
I remembered that night as if it were yesterday.
“Fuck, Kinley,” I breathed out to myself. “Where did we go wrong?”
“I ask myself that every day, Christian.”
I spun around, and our eyes connected. She was standing by the door, looking at me with uncertainty and sadness.
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be getting a divorce.”
“What? Now you think I don’t love you? You couldn’t be more wrong. You’re the only family I have. Did you ever think about that? Do you ever think about how hard this is on me? Do you even care what I feel?”
“Of course I do.”
“You’re not the only one who’s hurting, Christian.”
“Well, you’re the only one who’s hurting us, Kinley.”
“You want a baby. A family. And you deserve that. It’s not fair that I can’t give you one.”
“You don’t know that. It was years ago, and if you’d let my partner take a look at yo—”
“Christian, stop! Just stop!”
“Just fucking tell me how do I stop loving you?!”
—Kinley—
“I don’t know, Christian! Because I don’t know how to stop loving you either! I’m just so tired of not being able to say the right things to you. I’m exhausted having to walk on egg shells when we’re together or else we’ll fight. I ask myself every day what happened to us. You’re my best friend—”
“I’m not Jax, Kinley, so let’s get that straight.”
“Oh my God! Are we back to this now? Jax isn’t even here. He’s in Miami. It’s football season.”
Jax had been the quarterback for Miami for the last twelve years. He was the all-star, the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) Getting drafted right out of college, he quickly became an overnight sensation with the world. Titled one of the most eligible bachelors by Forbes. He was an eternal bachelor, but we were still close. He’d been in my life since I was twelve-years-old, and Christian and he were still constantly butting heads for my attention.
You’d think they would have found middle ground after all these years.
They hadn’t.
Although, it was better than it was when we were younger.
“We’re not in high school anymore. Why do you worry yourself over nonsense?” I questioned, shaking my head. “You see his life. He has a different girl in his bed every night.”
“I don’t give a fuck who he has in his bed, Kinley. As long as it’s not you.”
“We’ve never even kissed! I am not having this conversation with you. It’s pointless and stupid. You’re just trying to find something to argue about.”
“At least it has you talking to me.”
“What would you like me to say? Anything I say to you turns into another fight, and I can’t do it anymore. I’m over it!”