It was simple.
Now I was in a dynamic I couldn’t get enough of. One of the things I adored the most about her was the subtle looks she would give me when she didn’t think I was looking.
She came into my life like a breath of fresh air, and I breathed her in like a man who was suddenly on death row. Unable to fight against her pull. Every time I was with her I was lost in us. I never expected to fall for her. I wasn’t even looking for anyone, but there she was, this girl with such a force, such a drive. It was so fucking powerful that I never stood a chance.
Every time I told myself that today was going to be the time when I’d make my move, and we’d get past this PG shit, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She wasn’t just another chick I could nail.
It wasn’t about getting laid.
At least not with her.
Julian thought it was hilarious, laughing his ass off at the guy I’d become in the span of three months. Saying if I was like this now, he couldn’t imagine what I’d turn into the longer we were together.
“Did you hear what I said, Christian?” she questioned, bringing me back to the present. When she’d just told me she loved another guy.
Fucking Jax.
“I heard you.”
“Do you believe me?”
“You haven’t given me a reason not to. I don’t want to talk about Jax anymore.”
“Good.” She smiled, and it lit up her entire face. “I’m starving.”
For the next hour, we ate dinner on the bow and talked about nothing in particular.
I watched the way her lips moved.
The way her hair blew in the wind, framing her face.
The way she laughed with her whole body, feeling it deep in my bones.
I especially watched the way she looked at me as I swept her hair away from her face. She didn’t say a word, but her eyes spoke for her. The way she affected my mind and heart was terrifying, but it was so real.
So consuming.
She felt it too. That much I knew.
Breaking our strong connection that held both of us captive, I cleared my throat and stood up, bringing her right along with me. Something came over my senses, and I reached for my phone in my pocket to hit my playlist. Once I found the song I wanted, I set it down on the ground next to our makeshift picnic, which I’d made just for her.
With the music, the boat rocking softly, and the bright moon shining above our heads, I spun her into my arms before holding her close to my chest. Taking one of her hands, I placed it on my shoulder then intertwined the other with mine, placing it near my heart.
Her face conveyed so many emotions in a matter of seconds, and I paid attention to each and every one. She placed the side of her face on my chest, and I knew what she was trying to do, but it didn’t matter because I already felt everything she was trying to hide.
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone,” she uttered out of nowhere.
I thought about it for a second. “I want to be a doctor.”
“What?” She gazed up at me. “Really?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Wow. You’re just full of surprises, huh?”
I peered deep into her eyes. “Sweetness, you have no idea.”
—Kinley—
After we cleaned up the boat which I learned was actually his parents’, Christian grabbed my hand and led us back to the fair where it felt as though all our classmates were in attendance. Girls were looking at us, more like glaring everywhere we went. I was at the fair with Christian Troy, and it was a big deal in and of itself.
There we were, holding hands throughout the carnival, and he didn’t do this. He wasn’t this guy who was winning stuffed animals and kissing my lips every chance he had.
It was as much of a shock to me as it was to our classmates, the open affection he was showing me. He wasn’t trying to hide the fact that we were hanging out.
When my eyes shifted to the photo booth by the trees, Christian didn’t hesitate to take me over there.
I smiled, knowing he was doing this for me.
“Come here,” he ordered, sitting me on his lap once the curtain was closed and no one could see us. We were both facing the camera in front of us.
“You feel good on top of me, sweetness.”
My heart sped up. This was the first time we were this close, and I felt his dick through his jeans on my ass. I mean we’d kissed, but that was it. Which was another thing that was confusing to me. Christian didn’t just kiss. He was a home run kind of guy and didn’t wait around to have sex with chicks.
They threw themselves at him. He didn’t have to try, but with me, he never pushed for anything other than kissing. As if just spending time with me was enough for him.
“I thought you didn’t like taking pictures?” I asked, trying to calm my racing heart.
“I don’t,” he whispered in my ear from behind me. “I’m doing this for you.”
I smiled wide, my stomach fluttering.
We took five pictures in different positions. The first was with us facing the camera. His arms were around my waist, and his face was nuzzled in my neck. I could feel his breath on my skin, igniting tingles to stir down my spine.
The next one he started tickling me, both of us laughing like fools as the camera clicked for another photo. The third picture was a funny one, where we were both sticking out our tongues. The fourth photo caught me by surprise, as Christian spun me around so that we were now facing each other.
I gasped when I realized I was straddling his waist, making him grin. Pulling back my hair, he kissed my lips, and the next two images were just of us kissing.
He rasped against my lips, “I’m going to like taking pictures with you.”
Everything was perfect.
He was perfect.
“Come on.” He stood us up. “Let’s go on the Ferris wheel. It’s my favorite ride. You get to see the whole town from the sky, and there isn’t anything like it.”
My emotions went from excited to anxious in a matter of seconds. I thought I could do this for him, but as soon as it was our turn to go on next, I began to internally freak out. Feeling like I was going to have a panic attack at any moment.
“Mom, please get up. Please, Mom. I need you to get up. Don’t do this to me.”
“Sweetness.” Christian interrupted my memory. “What’s wrong?”
I frantically shook my head. “I don’t want to go on there.”
“What?” He smiled. “Are you afraid of heights?”
The anxiety was tearing through every inch of my body. “No. Please. I don’t want to go on there.”
“Hey…” he coaxed, pulling me toward him. “You’re shaking. What’s going on?”
“I just don’t want to go on there.” I yanked my body away, and all I could do was run away.
Between making our first appearance together at the carnival, everything he shared, and now having to go on this ride. It was too fucking much.
I ran.
From my memories.
My feelings.
Him.
He quickly caught up to me, gripping onto my waist to spin me around to face him. “Kinley, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
It was like word vomit, there was no stopping what I said next. “What are we doing?”