Bishop
Two Years Ago
My heart dropped when I came around the corner and saw Abby’s car parked in the driveway. She must not have felt like going to work at her folks’ flower farm again. Her parents had been understanding, of course, as day after day went by and Abby still wasn’t there. Her emotions had been all over the place, and I had to admit I was holding on by a thin thread. I had done my best to be there for her, but she’d been slowly pushing me away.
I parked next to the Toyota Camry we had bought a few years ago and sat for a few moments to get my own head in the right place before I walked into the house. I needed to be strong for both of us. There were days when Abby didn’t even get out of bed, but the last few weeks she’d seemed to be doing better. Last night, she had finally let me in some. She’d walked into my office in the house and crawled onto my lap. I dropped everything I’d been working on and held her.
When she whispered for me to make love to her, I’d hesitated. I hadn’t touched her in over a month. Every time I tried to get close to her, she’d push me away or start to cry. But last night, I caught a glimpse of my wife once again. I made love to her right there in my office, in front of the fire on a bed made of blankets.
I closed my eyes and let the memory of her words come back to me.
“I’ll love you forever, Bishop. I need you to know that.”
I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “I’ll love you more, Abs.”
I could feel her soft breath on my chest as she laughed. She snuggled in deeper against my chest and soon drifted off. It was the first night in nearly six weeks that she hadn’t cried herself to sleep.
I opened the door of my truck and slid out—then came to an abrupt halt. Blinking a few times, I stared at Abby as she stood there with her suitcase by her side and a large bag over her shoulder.
“I thought you were in a meeting?” she asked with a guilty look on her face.
“It ended early, so I came home before I headed down to the farm. Where are you going, Abs?” I asked, taking a step closer.
She held up her hand to stop me, and I stilled.
I could see the pain in her eyes and the hurt on her face, and it nearly killed me. I was going to lose my goddamn mind if she didn’t let me help her soon. Then she gave me a slight smile, and for the briefest of moments, that same fourteen-year-old girl was back in front of me, and my breath caught.
The first moment I ever saw Abby Boyer, I knew she was the girl I was going to marry. Her folks had moved to Boggy Creek when she was a freshman. For two years, I tried to win her over. I came so close so many times, but she’d always push me away and tell me I was a hopeless flirt who would never be able to love just one girl.
I proved her wrong. Asked her to marry me our senior year. We got married at nineteen on this very hilltop.
Now Abby’s smile was gone as fast as it came. A cold chill rushed through me as I stared at her. She was the only girl who had ever captured my heart, and now she stood in front of me—sixteen years after the first time I’d ever laid eyes on her—with a look on her face that scared the living shit out of me.
Abby broke our eye contact and stared down at the ground. “I’m leaving for a while.”
I jerked back like she’d hit me. “Leaving? Where? Are you going to your folks’? If you want some alone time, babe, I can go.”
Her eyes jerked up and met mine again. She shook her head. “No, it’s not like that, Bishop. I can’t…I can’t do this. I can’t be…I can’t be with you anymore.”
I stood there motionless while I let her words sink into my brain.
“Wait,” I said with a disbelieving laugh. “You’re…leaving me? Abby, don’t do this! I said I would do anything you wanted. I’m trying, Abs. What do you want from me? I’m trying to figure out how you need me to help you, but you keep pushing me away. If you want, I’ll hire someone to work the tree farm and we can go somewhere. Anywhere you want, baby. I’ll do whatever.”
She sniffled and shook her head. “I just need a little bit of time, Bishop. I always wanted to live in Boston, see what living in the big city was like. I think that’s where I need to go.”
“Now? You think you need to do that now? Did you forget we’re fucking married? That we’re trying to have a family?”
“Stop!” she screamed, causing me to jump. “I can’t give you the things you want, Bishop! I just need some time to figure things out.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face and dropped my hands at my sides. “What do you mean? Abby, the only thing I want is you.”
She shook her head. “I need to leave, Bishop. If you want to help me, let me just go to Boston for a little while. That’s what I need from you.”
I nodded, my heart lodged in my throat. “Okay. Um, do you know where you’re going to stay? You’re going to the Marquee Hotel, right?”
Her eyes filled with tears as she slightly nodded.
“Will you let me know when you get there?” I asked. “They’ll put you in the suite.”
After my grandfather had passed away I had inherited a number of his properties in Boston, including a prominent hotel in downtown Boston. I knew once they found out my wife was checking in, they’d take care of her.
She drew in a shaky breath. “Yes. I’ll, um…I’ll let you know.”
I stepped forward, bending down to grab the suitcase. “I’ll get this and your bag.”
Abby let the bag slide down her arm and it hit the ground. Her eyes looked so lost. I was racking my brain trying to decide if it was a good idea to let her go. I thought back to what the therapist had told me yesterday: “Don’t push her, but let her know you’re there for her.”
Did that mean I should simply let her walk away?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What do I do?
As we walked to her car, I asked, “Were you just going to leave without telling me?”
She wrung her hands together, watching me put her bags in the trunk. “I thought it would be easier that way.”
Shutting the trunk, I looked at her. “For who?”
She closed her eyes and started to cry. “All I seem to do is cause you pain.”
“What?” I whispered, reaching for her and pulling her into my arms. Those first few days after she’d lost the baby a few weeks back, she had let me hold her. For hours, I did nothing but wrap her up in my arms while she cried herself to sleep.
Her voice sounded weak as she buried her face in my chest. “You know I love you, Bishop.”
I brought my hand to the back of her chestnut-brown hair and stroked it softly. It suddenly hit me. She had known last night she was going to be leaving. I swallowed hard, then kissed the top of her head. “I know. I love you more than anything, Abby. Always have and always will.”
Abby lifted her head and stared at me. For one brief moment, she looked at me like she had last night. With nothing but love in her eyes. I leaned down and kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I deepened the kiss. When she pulled back, those hazel eyes filled with more tears.
“Do you want me to drive you to Boston?” I asked. “I can rent a car to come back. Or maybe stay one night with you.”