“Okay. Devyn, can I eat it now?”
“Yeah, squirt. We’re going out back to listen to music. You can go in my room and play my Xbox, too.”
She hugs me. Chocolate and Xbox are the things she loves most. They’re also things our parents never let her do. She rips open the Reese’s and runs to my room.
“Bring snacks,” Dane says, heading out the back door.
I get some Cheetos and popcorn and join them. We drink beer and listen to music. Every once in a while, I check on Kasey, who is happily playing Minecraft, her favorite game.
“Let’s go swimming,” Angelina says.
“Did you bring suits?”
“Don’t need ’em,” Dane says, stripping off his clothes.
I’m three beers deep, which makes a hundred-ten-pound girl drunk by anyone’s standards, so I agree. I open the baby gate around the pool and shuck my clothes. The three of us jump in.
Usually, when there are three naked nineteen-year-olds, at least two of them are having sex. Not us. We’re best friends. Looking at Dane’s dick would be like looking at my brother’s, if I had one. Besides, he has a girlfriend.
I ask, “What do you think Liz would say if she knew you were naked in the pool with two hotties?”
He laughs. “Have you seen my girlfriend? Sorry, guys, you’re attractive and all, but she’s got the body of a supermodel and a rack good enough to be a plastic surgeon’s poster girl.”
Angelina and I attack him, dunking him. He emerges, picks us up one at a time, and throws us as far as he can. He pounds on his chest and does the Tarzan yell. I realize we’re being too loud. “Dane, shut up. Kasey will come out here.”
“We don’t want to scare her off with your little dick,” Angelina says. “Might scar her for life if she thinks that’s all she’ll ever get.”
Dane chases her around the pool and then throws her again. I glance up at the light in my bedroom. I’m sure Kasey has my headphones on; she probably won’t hear anyway.
An hour later, we’re back in our clothes, counting the empty beer cans. “Got any more?” Dane asks.
“I’m not taking booze from the bar. The congressman would have a fucking conniption. He hates me already; I’m not going to give him any more reasons.”
“What’s up with him?” Dane asks. “Ang told me he’s like two different dads, one with you and one with Kasey.”
“He’s not a dad with me. You know he never would have adopted me if it hadn’t helped him politically.”
“You’d think after a while, he’d grow to love you, though,” Angelina says. “I mean, we have, even though your nose is slightly off-center, and your feet are freakishly small.”
I cover my nose defensively. “My nose is not off-center.”
She laughs. “Could be my double vision.”
“Okay, no more booze,” Dane says. “You got a stash?”
“Yaaaaaaas,” Angelina says. “You told me you got a ton the other day. You’d been saving for like a month.”
“What can I say? It’s cheaper in bulk.”
Dane chuckles. “So you won’t steal a few beers from the congressman, but you’ll keep a shitload of weed hidden under his roof? Makes total sense.”
I hit his arm. “Shut up.”
“Go get it,” he says.
“Are you crazy? I’m not smoking pot here. I’m babysitting, and the congressman would throw me in jail if he smelled it anywhere on his property.”
Even drunk, Angelina agrees with me. “She’s right. He’d kill her and us too.” She looks sad for a moment, then smiles. “My parents are gone. Let’s just pop next door and smoke a quickie in my backyard.”
“I’m babysitting.”
“Last time you checked on her, you said she was asleep in your bed. It’s late. She’s probably down for the night. We’ll only be a few minutes.”
“You know you want to, Devyn,” Dane says. “Maybe we’ll call Minton over, and you two can finally do the deed.”
“Shut up. We are not calling Billy.”
“But we’re still getting high, right?” Angelina asks hopefully.
I roll my eyes. “Fine, but only if Kasey is asleep.”
The two of them high five.
Up in my bedroom, Kasey is sleeping, my headphones still on and the videogame paused. I tiptoe to my bathroom, open the cabinet under my sink, and pull out the box of tampons I use for my stash. Ed would never find it, and my mom hasn’t been in my room in years. She couldn’t care less what I do as long as I play the part of the perfect daughter so she can look like the perfect wife of the perfect congressman.
I open the baggie, get a bud, then grab rolling papers and my lighter.
I check on Kasey one more time before leaving the bedroom.
Downstairs, I give everything to Dane. He rolls joints way better than I do. Angelina goes to the back door. “No,” I say. “I’m not jumping the fence. Go out the front.”
Sometime later, Angelina’s sixteen-year-old sister comes home and gives us the once-over. “You guys are so stoned.”
I raise my hand off the lounger. “They are, but I’m not. I only took a few hits. I’m babysitting, so I have to be the responsible one.” I sit up, and my head spins. “Oh, shit. I’m babysitting. What time is it?”
“Ten thirty,” Jen says.
“What time did we come over here?”
“Relax,” Dane says. “We’ve only been here about half an hour.”
“I have to go check on her.”
“Bring back more weed,” Dane calls after me.
I ignore him. I hear the three of them talking loudly on Angelina’s back porch as I go through the house and cross the front yard. I have cottonmouth, so when I walk through the door, I stop in the kitchen for a drink of water. Kasey’s stool is by the sink. She’s not tall enough to reach the faucet, so we keep one under the cabinet for her. She’s always forgetting to put it away, but I swear it wasn’t out before. “Kasey?”
No answer. Guess she went back to bed. The buzz from the beers is fading, and I did only take a few hits, but I start to feel guilty about leaving the house with Kasey here. What if she had a bad dream? What if she got scared and couldn’t find me? I was stupid. I promise myself I won’t do it again. Kasey is the best thing in my life. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to her. Yes, she’s the golden child. The wanted child. But she and I have this connection, even though I’m fourteen years older than she is. Sometimes it feels like I’m a mother to her, especially when Mom is having one of her “episodes” and stays in bed for weeks on end.
My bed is empty, the headphones are on the floor, and the TV is still on. She must have gone to her room after getting a drink. I walk to the other end of the hall, to the bedroom next to the master. It’s dark except for the nightlight. I enter quietly so as to not wake her, but her bed is perfectly made. “Kase?”
I cross the hall, knowing she likes to climb into bed with my parents sometimes. Mom usually kicks her out, and she ends up climbing into bed with me. Just like I was at that age, I wanted Mom’s attention and love, and she didn’t give it freely.