“I’m not pushing you away, Tanner, I promise. I won’t do that.” She blurted the words and looked as if she had surprised herself by saying them.
Relief flooded me, but I tried my best not to show it. “What is it then?”
“I’ve been looking at houses.”
“Houses.”
“For us, for after we move out of here. I know you don’t have a true lease with the guys’ house because of Pacey and all, but our landlord will be setting up a new leasing agreement soon. And since we’re not signing it, I know that some of the girls were planning on moving in here at least for the time being before we all make our next stops.”
“I know. And you’re welcome here. I mean, living with me. If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what I want. And that leads to this next part. I was looking at houses because renting really isn’t a thing right now. The housing market is so insane and overinflated that houses are just going up and being sold in cash deals every day.”
I swallowed hard. “I’ve been looking into it, too. I still don’t know how we walked into this place.”
“Fate. And you guys have a great place, while ours is a piece of shit. But it’s also a college house, near University Row, so that’s what happens. Anyway, I’ve been looking at a few and talking to a realtor.” She let out a breath. “I know this will be uncomfortable, but I can buy a few of these in cash using one of my trust funds.” She held up a hand as I was about to say something. I felt like I couldn’t keep up.
“I know it’s ridiculous, and I know it doesn’t make any sense, but if we go in with a cash offer, then we’ll be sure to get it. We could also go for a mortgage with the two of us cosigning, and I would understand that, but it might be a little harder to find a place. These are just a few that I was looking up online. Hopefully, our realtor can go through it all and give us options. It would be wise to have a place where we can settle once the baby comes. That way, we’re not stressed out about that while starting our new jobs and becoming new parents and just…everything that comes with being unique.”
I looked down at the tablet in her hand and reached out, gripping her free one and noticing that she had started to shake. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot then?”
“Yes. I mean, I have to. I know we keep saying that we’re going to look at things, and then it just never comes up because it’s scary. We’re talking about committing to live together. I know it might make more sense for us to get two separate homes and work on co-parenting that way, but wouldn’t it just be easier if we lived in the same place? I can do whatever you want when it comes to a mortgage or not, but know that I can pay for this. I can use my grandparents’ money. And it’s ridiculous, and a whole other world that I know is kind of horrible, but it would help the baby. So, what do you think?”
I felt like I was out of step, but everything she said made sense. And she wasn’t pushing me away. Out of breath, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers. “I’m in. I want to be with you, Natalie.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them away before kissing me softly. “I want to be with you, too.”
Relief slammed into me, and I did my best not to shake. “Good. Now, let’s look at these places and see what we can do. My credit is good, not great.”
“I’ve been trying to build my credit with credit cards since I was eighteen.” She winced. “It’s sort of just always been on my mind to do so. And I know I’m privileged to be able to make that happen. So, we are not in the same realm as other people.”
I shook my head and gripped her hand. “You don’t need to rationalize these things to me. I get it. While I’m not going to say I’m comfortable with it, I will figure out how to deal with it.”
“For the baby.”
“For the baby.” And us.
“We’ll talk to the realtor and make a plan. Either we’ll go with a mortgage or the entire thing. Either way, I can make the down payment. I know you’re going to hate that, but we can talk about you paying me back if that’s what you want to do. Or, we don’t have to. We can scuttle that and just work on saving for college funds and property taxes and everything else that comes with being an adult. And being an adult is expensive. So, we might as well pool our resources and make it work.”
“Should I say that I just did my last hip thrust on stage for our kid’s college fund?” I asked dryly,
She blinked and then burst out laughing. “We will earmark that for a college fund. And wow, we’re really doing this.”
I held her close and kissed her again. “We’re doing this.”
Without family. But we weren’t kids. Far from it. We could make our own family.
I thought the feeling running through me right then might’ve been happiness, but I didn’t know.
JC would likely tell me to talk to her. Tell her how I felt. But this was enough. Telling the guys what I had been doing these past four years, and telling Natalie that I was okay with moving in with her, that I wanted to move in with her, was enough for now.
I would tell her everything eventually. Tell her how I felt. Maybe.
Until then, we’d make this work.
Even if her world was so far removed from mine, it wasn’t even funny. Anything for the baby. Anything for Natalie.
That was definitely what I would keep telling myself.
Sixteen
Natalie
I wasn’t getting the odd looks for being pregnant in a bar that I expected, and I counted that as a win. It might be because this was Dillon’s family bar, but you never knew.
“I’m glad we’re doing this,” Elise said as she leaned into me. I smiled up at her and grinned.
“What do you mean?”
“That we’re just hanging out, it’s good for us.”
“We see each other often,” Nessa corrected.
“We do,” Elise nodded. “But when do we ever go out and hang out where we’re not pretending that we don’t have a thousand things on our minds that we should be focusing on instead of just being with one another?”
“That is true. We’ve been a little preoccupied for the past two years.” Mackenzie sipped her wine. I was the designated driver for the night since I wasn’t drinking. That way, the girls could have fun, and I could enjoy my virgin drinks all night. The bartender, Beckham, was this bearded hipster-looking dude who grinned at Elise as she walked in. He picked her up, spun her around the bar, and called her family.
He had been informally adopted into the Connollys, and that meant Elise was somehow connected to him. I didn’t know how it all worked, but I liked the idea that everybody was family here. It was a warm place and comfortable. Most of the Connolly brothers were at the other restaurant for the night since this place worked like clockwork.
I knew the place had fallen on some hard times years ago when the brothers first gained ownership of the business, but I didn’t know the whole story behind it. Now, though, it was bustling, and everything tasted amazing. Aiden might not be cooking tonight as he was at the other restaurant, but Dillon was.