Nerves worked their way down my spine, embarrassment flooding my cheeks. I was a forty-one-year-old man sneaking out of my son’s condo after being fucked by his friend. How in the hell had this even happened?
“Dad,” he said with a nod.
“Ross,” I replied.
“I hope you used protection. My father told me to always use a condom. It doesn’t matter if I’m having sex with a man, a woman, or someone nonbinary. Sex is fun, and I understand wanting to get laid, but it’s also a big responsibility. If you’re old enough to have it, you better be old enough to be smart about it.”
“Ha-ha,” I teased, grateful for his lightness on the matter. “And damn, I’m smart.”
“Eh.” He shrugged. “You’re okay.”
I leaned against the counter. “Listen…I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I also know this has to be a little uncomfortable. If you tell me no, I’ll stop.” Though it would kill me. This was just no-strings-attached fun, but…but it almost didn’t feel that way. It felt like more. “Or if you’d rather I asked Zander to go to my place, I can do that as well.”
“It’s clear you two like each other. Or at least like…you know. I’m not even gonna say it.”
“It’s not serious.” He knew that, but I wanted to make sure.
“Okay,” Ross replied. “As long as you’re both on the same page about that and I don’t ever have to pick sides.”
“Never.”
“You don’t usually…with the same person…at least not that I know. I guess you probably do, and I just never knew who they were. For someone who’s always kept the lines of communication open with me and talked to me about sex since I was a teenager… I mean, I knew you had to have it, but I never met anyone, and it wasn’t something you did at home.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t, but I didn’t spend eighteen years celibate.”
“God, I should hope not.”
“Ever since the moment your mom told me she was pregnant, you were all that mattered. Building a life for you, supporting you, loving you, having a stable home for you. Having different bed partners in and out of the house, that wasn’t what I wanted you to see.”
“Bed partners. You’re so old. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“You know what I mean.”
Ross nodded. “I know. If I don’t say this often enough, I love you. You’re the best dad a guy could ask for. And I want you to be happy, the same way you always want me to be happy. You always told me you would support me in anything in life, and that you wanted me to always be true to who I am. I just… Well, I want you to know I support you too. No matter what.”
I was so damn lucky to have him as my son. Everything about him filled me with pride. “Thank you. I hear you, but no strings. It’s not serious.”
“I’m just sayin’… I mean, I’ve never seen him with the same person more than once either.”
“Convenience.” But part of me wanted to beat my hands against my chest. Zander had told me as much about his sex habits, but hearing it from someone else reinforced it, made the feeling of winning a prize I’d never known I wanted spread through me.
“Ross?” another voice said. My eyes snapped toward the hallway as a woman walked down it from Ross’s room. “Oh crap. I’m sorry. I thought we were alone. Is this Zander?”
“No, this is my dad. Trina, this is Harrison. Dad, this is Trina.”
She had on a long shirt that went to her knees, and it was clear she was there to spend the night.
“Nice to meet you, Trina. I’ll let the two of you go. I was just…well, I was just,” I said, not wanting to explain myself to someone else. “Call me tomorrow, Ross.” I raised a brow, Ross nodded, and then I was on my way.
I made sure to set my alarm so I could call and confirm Zander got up on time in the morning.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Zander
I missed running every morning.
It was something I’d done since I was a kid. It hadn’t been about getting into shape, but about having a schedule, having something to focus on to work through some of my energy. It hadn’t taken me long to fall in love with jogging. It made me feel accomplished, and it gave me alone time. It didn’t cost money, and it made me feel good about myself, but between school, the coffeehouse, and grading and planning lessons, I simply didn’t have the time, and when I did, I was too exhausted.
It had been three weeks since school started, and while I was finding my groove, it was overwhelming. I’d already lost track of time more than once, talking too long, so I didn’t get my lesson finished. I loved my time in the classroom with the kids, but there was also all this worry always bearing down on me—wondering if I was doing a good job, if I was going to screw this up, how I would keep two jobs going, and if not, how I would be able to pay all my bills and help Mom, who Molly said had been in a lot of pain lately. Surgery was an option, but she was afraid to go that route. It seemed like back surgery often made people worse, but she also had to limit pain meds because of the worry of addiction. That meant she just suffered a lot of the time.
The guilt was always there too, that I should be at home, living with them.
So I just pushed through because what the hell else could I do?
Fucking Harrison helped. That was something I couldn’t deny. Even though we’d only had sex two more times in the past few weeks. One of them, I’d just called him over specifically to fuck me, and he’d come to do it. Ross hadn’t been home. He was seeing this girl, and they’d been spending a lot of time together. I was stressed out after getting off the phone with Mom, and I’d texted Harrison. I didn’t tell him why I was overwhelmed. Sometimes random things sneaked out with him, but I was working hard to keep that from happening. I’d just told him I was horny and wanted to get off. He invited me over, but I didn’t want to go to his place. I didn’t want to see it—it would only remind me how different we were—so I asked if he could come to Ross’s condo, and that easily, he’d done it.
Sex with Harrison was the perfect distraction because it was always more than just that. We talked. He asked about my day and the students, and I told him more about Ariel, who was definitely my favorite student, even if we weren’t supposed to have one. Harrison, in turn, would tell me about things going on with the dealerships and how happy he was when Ross had given away cars to those in need. It was crazy that they were able to do that. They gave cars to people…well, people like me or my mom.
There were even times when we hung out without having sex. He stopped by the coffeehouse sometimes, or we’d text. He’d started sending me silly puns or jokes in the morning, like: Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? Because he wanted to get a long little doggy. I’d laugh and roll my eyes or call him an old man, but really, it was cute as fuck. I liked starting my days that way.
It was almost the end of school for that afternoon. I’d just finished giving a lesson on metaphors and similes before asking, “Does anyone have any questions?”