“It’s a talent, what can I say.” Then, when he didn’t reply, I asked, “Is it okay? Do you need your meds or anything?”
“I keep some with me, and yes, it’s okay. But only because I don’t want to ruin Ross’s night.”
“Oh, but you don’t mind ruining mine,” I teased, and he chuckled in return.
“I like ruining your day, I guess.”
“I like hanging out with you too,” I replied.
“Not what I said.”
“But we both know it’s what you meant.”
“You’re infuriating.”
“I would say it comes with age, but what would be your excuse?”
“I’m an old soul, Harrison. Sometimes I think I’m older than you.”
“Sometimes I think you’re right.” I pulled into the driveway at my house. I loved living in Old Fourth Ward. It was a quiet oasis right in the middle of the city.
He was silent but fidgeting as he grabbed his things and we headed for the door, which I unlocked. I stepped back for Zander to go in first, and he did, standing right inside the door and looking around. “This is… Holy shit, Harrison. This is nice.”
“Thank you. I know it may sound materialistic, but I always dreamed of having a home like this. I love being in the city, but I wanted it to feel like a suburb, with families and dogs and all that. When Ross was young, all I wanted was for him to have his own bedroom and a backyard to play in. Isn’t that silly?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s not silly at all.”
I closed the door, and Zander took a few steps inside. “Thank you. I already thanked you for earlier, didn’t I? I can’t even remember. If not, thank you for that…and for bringing me here. I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to be around anyone else tonight.”
But me? Did he want to be around me, or was it just that he could deal with it? “You’re welcome.” I stepped up beside him, and when I kissed his neck, he dropped his head to the side to get me better access, so I kissed it again and again and again. “Come on. I’ll get you something to wear.”
Zander took off his shoes and socks, set them on the doormat, then put his bag down too. He followed me to the stairs and then up. “Want to hear something funny? When I was a kid, I used to dream about having stairs. I don’t know why, but to me, stairs meant a real house. It seemed like all the families in TV shows had stairs.”
“They’re not great for your knees,” I replied.
“Stop pretending you’re older than you are. I do it, but that doesn’t mean you can.”
“I never thought I was old until I had sex on your futon.”
“Oh shit. Is it really that bad for you?”
“I’m just giving you a hard time. And I can see that, a kid dreaming about stairs. It’s funny, the things we cling to or the ideas we get. Like stairs or a backyard or even your own bedroom being what makes someone happy. Like it’s what matters. And sometimes it does, of course, but I think if you asked Ross, he would say it was us, our relationship, the times we spent together, not the things I wished he had. I’m sure you would say the same thing about growing up.” Zander nodded as I pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts for him. “Do you want to take a shower?”
“Um…yeah, if you’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Yes. You can put your dick in my ass, but I draw the line at using my shower.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re a smart-ass?”
“You bring it out in me.” I went into the en suite, and he followed. I got a towel out for him, a washcloth, and a new toothbrush. “Make yourself at home. I can take your clothes and throw them into the washer.”
He nodded and stripped, handing them over. He was so fucking beautiful, so sexy, with a body that I still couldn’t wrap my brain around being real. I peeked at his tight ass as he walked around me to the shower and turned it on.
“You’re staring, Harrison.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m that good,” he teased.
“You’re a brat, Mr. Wescott. That’s what you are.” A brat I liked a whole lot. “I’ll leave you to it.”
I left the room without a word, grabbed his socks and the rest of his clothes, and put them in the washer. Then I set his bag on a towel on the counter, went to the kitchen, found a bottle of wine, and opened it. I didn’t even know if Zander drank wine. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but for some reason, I needed it tonight. After Ross was out of the house, I’d brought people here I was sleeping with, of course, but it felt different having Zander in my home. Maybe because I knew him better than most people I fucked? Or maybe it went back to liking him, and the fact that I enjoyed his company so much more than anyone else’s…and that put me on edge, made me worry about what that meant.
He didn’t stay in the shower long. I was leaning against the counter, sipping my wine, when he came out. My clothes were a little big on him—I was broader and taller—but I liked to see him in my things. Liked the thought of him smelling like my soap and his hair wet from washing it with my shampoo.
“I’ll make us some dinner,” I told him.
“Can I do it, or would that be weird? Maybe you don’t like people messing around in your kitchen, but…”
But he felt he owed me something. He wanted to do something nice for me since I’d picked him up. Zander didn’t need to, but I knew telling him that wouldn’t make any difference. Still, I said, “Okay, but only because I know it’s important to you and not because you need to.”
“You’re still infuriating, just in case you were wondering.”
I held my hands up. “Hey, what did I do?”
“You just…talk…about everything. You put it all out there, and sometimes you make me do the same. It’s unnerving. I don’t like it, and I’m not used to it. Do you have any secrets at all?”
I shrugged. “I suppose we all do, but…I don’t know, Zander. We’re all made up differently. There aren’t rules on how to do this, on how we’re supposed to be. We all just do our best to get by. For me, that’s being open, putting things out there. You keep things close to your chest.” I stepped up to him, cupped his cheek, brushed my thumb against his smooth skin. “I like who you are. Do I want to figure out every one of your mysteries? Do I want you to trust me? Yes, I do, but I won’t push you, and I won’t ask you to change.”
He turned, kissed the palm of my hand. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. The fact that I called you today should tell you there’s no one I trust more.”
I smiled.
He rolled his eyes. “Stop it. I should have never told you that. It’ll just go to that big head of yours. I put up with a lot from you just to have convenient sex.”
“Are we going to have convenient sex tonight?”
He winked. “If you’re lucky.”
“Want some wine?”
“Nah, I don’t like it. Wine is for old people.”
“What am I going to do with you?” I handed him my glass. “It’s sweet. Do you like sweet?”