Once some of the bouncing thoughts in my head cleared, I got on the phone and called a tow truck. It was fucking expensive and would cut into what I could send to my loans and credit cards. Or hell, maybe I should have put it on my card. I had to have a car, and I had to be able to help Mom and Molly.
It took them forty-five minutes to get there. I rode with them to a shop, where they told me they could check out my car and let me know the next day what was wrong with it, but I didn’t have high hopes.
The bus stop was close. I checked the schedule on my phone, but they didn’t have any more heading into Atlanta. I could call a car service, but that was expensive as fuck, so I just…started to walk, trying to figure out what to do.
And then, because the universe hated me, the sky opened up and rain pelted down on me. A stupid September storm that was hot but wet. “Fuck!” I shouted, my clothes and hair already soaked through. There was another bus stop up ahead, and the woman waiting there was looking at me, probably afraid I was crazy.
I ran over, thankful it was covered. “Sorry. Long day,” I said.
She nodded but kept her distance.
Eventually her bus came, she got on, and I sat there alone.
I could call Ross. I knew he would be there in no time to help. That he would want me to call him. He wouldn’t consider it putting him out because he was my friend and that’s what friends did for each other. I would do the same for him.
But I just…couldn’t. I didn’t know why. It was embarrassing. I hated needing help.
Cameron would come for me… Harrison would too. More than any of them, he would want me to call him, and as I sat there, miserable and depressed, his was the one name I pressed, the one I felt the most comfortable letting see this side of me.
“You’re off tonight. Does that mean you want to get off with me?” he asked playfully.
I didn’t reply. Couldn’t. Fuck, why did this have to happen? Why was everything so fucked up?
“Zander? Are you there?” he asked, concern clear in his voice.
“My car died. I think it’s really fucking done. It was smoking. I called a tow truck. They took it to the shop but can’t tell me what’s wrong until tomorrow. There are no buses heading back into Midtown. I’m soaking wet and…” I need help. I need a friend.
“Send me your location on your phone. I’ll be right there.”
“You’re not off work yet, are you? I can wait.”
“You’re not sitting out in the rain any longer than you have to. Send me your location, Zander. I’m going out to my car right now.”
Thank you. I’m sorry I’m putting my shit on you. I’ve never let myself depend on anyone. People always let you down.
None of those words left my mouth, of course. “I will.”
“Hey,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you called me. You can always call me, okay?”
As if he could see me, I nodded before ending the call and sending him my location.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Harrison
He looked like a drowned rat when I picked him up. I pulled up to the curb, and Zander jogged over to the car and got in.
“Shit. Your seat. I’m gonna get your car wet. I can’t believe I didn’t think about that.”
“It’s fine. It’ll dry. I set a towel down for you. Here.” I reached into the back, grabbed another, and handed it over.
“I’ll clean it up for you.”
“I’m not worried about it.” I was more worried about him. He looked… The first word that came to mind was defeated. It practically rolled off him, this heaviness to the air that weighed even me down.
“I am. It’s…important to me, Harrison.”
“Okay. If you insist.” I was just grateful he’d called me. I knew how much it took for Zander to do that. “Are you hungry?”
“Not really. I need to figure out what in the fuck I’m going to do. Thankfully, it’s the weekend, but I only have two days. I have a feeling my car is done for.”
I sighed, easing through traffic. “Like I said, I’m glad you called me, but I wish you would have done it earlier. I own car dealerships. I could have gotten your vehicle towed at no cost. We could have had it looked at by one of our mechanics.”
“So they would work for free?” he snapped.
“No. They’re hourly. They’ll be paid regardless. Come on, you know me better than that.”
“So you would have paid for it, then? That makes me feel like your kept boy.”
Anger flooded my insides. “Don’t do that. Don’t cheapen what we have. We’re friends—who enjoy sleeping together, yes—but don’t turn it into something it’s not.”
He dropped his head against the seat and closed his eyes. He didn’t reply right away, and I didn’t say anything either, trying to be patient. I wanted him to sort through whatever it was he had to sort through. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I told you before, I’m not used to this…to having someone I can depend on…or that I let myself depend on. It’s not easy for me, but I’m sitting in your car right now. I called you. That says something.”
“I know.” I reached over and squeezed his thigh. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I’ll drive you to work if I have to, or you can borrow a car. I can arrange that through my work, Zander. I’ll let you pay me rent if you want, but I’d prefer not to. We just got a little Hyundai in on trade yesterday that would be perfect. It’s about six years old, but not a lot of mileage, good on gas, dependable, and not something brand-new or pricey. I know you wouldn’t accept that.”
“I can’t do that. I can’t just take a car for free, even if it is only temporary.”
“Then you sit down, go over your bills, and see what you can afford. Something that’s not going to put you back. Or, hell, I don’t know. We could set up a payment plan that starts in a few months so you can get your legs underneath you first. Something that’s not on the books, so we don’t have to worry about your credit and debt-to-income ratio. It’s important to me to be there for people I care about, Zander. And while this is friendship and sex, I care about you.”
“I know,” he said so softly, I could hardly make it out. Those words had been hard for him too. I wished I knew how to make it easier on Zander, how to soothe his fears or take away whatever it was that made it so hard for him to trust.
He leaned his forehead against the window and didn’t speak. It wasn’t until we were almost home that he asked, “Where are we going?”
“I was hoping I could get away with bringing you to my place. I can tell you don’t want to go there, but Ross is having a few people over tonight and—”
“Shit. I forgot about that. He told me about it, and I spaced it.”
“Yeah, I figured you might not want to be around people.”
“You’re not a person?” He gave me a small smile. “Nah, I don’t think you are. Most people aren’t as good as you.” Zander’s gaze darted away as if he was embarrassed of what he’d said.